GH 7/19: Gabba gabba hey
I gotta run an unexpected errand, but I'll cap when I get back and catch up.
Dr. Bad News Jr. tells Liz it's time to start pushing. Liz and Nik have an easy rapport all of the sudden. It's as if something terrible is about to happen to them.
Country Club: K-Dad keeps yelling at everyone until Sonny stands up to threaten him.
Jason's Penthouse: Spinelli is angry at Dante b/c he blames him for Jason going back to jail. Walsh shows up and seems unaware that Jason has gone to prison.
Prison: Jason calls for the guard and asks to see Warden. Guard tells him to can it.
Franco's Lair: Franco watches a video on his laptop. It's of the night Franco lured Jason to his Loft. I have no idea who did all the tricky camera work. I guess somehow Franco had your typical three camera set up and then edited this together? Franco watches gleefully. In the video, Franco taunts jason until Jason lunges at him. Then it appears that Jason chokes Franco to death....or more accurately, it appears that a man clad in black leather chokes Franco to death. But how would this be admissable in any court of law? It's clearly edited. Not in an Oksana/Mel kind of way, but in a JUMP CUT from close up to wide shot kind of super obvious way. In a "there are at least 2 cameras used" kind of way.
Credits
Delivery room: Liz pushes and grits that she's never having a baby again. Her scarves all roll their eyes. Also, I don't expect Rebecca Herbst to actually be all splayed out, and I've never given birth, but can you do it with your knees pressed together? In the hall, Maxie busts Lucky for eaveslurking.
Metrcourt: Laura Wright is wearing a very ill advised aqua dress. I think she's an exceedingly woman, but this dress is not doing her any favors. Of course, this dress? would make both January Jones and Christina Hendricks looks matronly, which should be impossible. This dress should be shot, is my point. Jax and Carly and their Love Song make up b/c otherwise there won't be any The Drama when Brenduh shows up in a few weeks.
Jason's Penthouse: Dante fills Walsh in that Red Shirt Lou took Jason back to prison. Walsh says Lou doesn't have the authority to do that. Dante points out that Jason broke the terms of his agreement by carrying a gun. Walsh is livid that Jason had a gun. Spinelli says "oh, I didn't realize that was a term of his release. I apologize, Dante, for being a dick. Jason was foolish to walk around his home with a gun." Or not really. Really he paces around, being even more ridiculous and bitchy than Carly on her worst day.
Country Club: Sonny stops K-Dad from yelling at his family and says K-Dad hit Kiefer first.
Commercials
Country Club: Sonny says he's ironically starting to have compassion for Kiefer b/c he knows what it's like to be a scared little boy who's afraid of family violence. He accuses K-Dad of hitting Mrs. Bauer as well. Is this some know fact? How is Mr. B not slapping a slander suit on Sonny? Sonny says Kiefer hated K-Dad every time he hit his mom. Sonny tells Kristina that Kiefer hated himself every time he hit her. K-Dad keeps pushing, and Sonny whispers that he better be on he look out for accidents. He was doing alright, but he sort of lost it at that point. K-Dad leaves, and Sonny asks K if she's okay. She runs away, and Milly runs after her. Alexis looks up at the riddle, wrapped in an enigma who takes two steps forward sometimes like that cat Paula danced with, and then two steps back like Paula herself would do when she would say crazy things about seeing the color of your love.
Loft: Loo is nervous that before Jason was the bait, but now Dante will have a bullseye on his back. and other mixed metaphors. (I originally wrote Methaphors, but those are what Maxie uses) Dante says he'll be fine.
Metrocourt: Skye is wearing this interesting shell top that's cream at the shoulders and then screenprinted (Or something) blue on the bottom, nad it makes it look like it should be feathery. Oh, it's a dress, actually. Anyhoo, Skye needs Jax to go with her to Spain to get Lo's money. Is Lo dead or missing? I can't remember.
GH: Lucky fights with Maxie that he's not here for Liz. She asks what he is doing here. He jackassfully says "anything is better than being self destructive with you." what the bleep is this guy's problem? I think I hate him more than Sonny. Maxie is a methy mess, but she's pretty and well meaning and she is clearly coming from a place of trying to make him be honest with himself. It's none of her damn business, but she doesn't deserve to be treated like trash. "it's none of your business, I refuse to discuss this" is what a decent, kind person says. Shut up, Lucky.
Commercials
Kelly delivers Liz and Nik (and Lucky's) boy. Touching Piano Music sings along to the baby's cries. They don't use the babybot, though, just a doll wrapped in a blankie.
Docks: Carly finds jax on the docks, and he says they were laughing one minute, and then she ran off. He asks what changed. Carly says they were having fun on the boat, but then she saw Michael's ankle monitor. (and instead of praising her maker that he's home with an ankle monitor instead of in prison, she chose to dwell on the past and not learn from it). She doesn't fully blame him and laughs that she's certainly done her fair share. She basically is saying she's never learned how to forgive and not make it "All About Me' for more than 20 hours at a time.
Loft: Dante and Loo are worried about The Danger, but they are in lurve still, so they kiss.
Prison: Walsh visits Jason. In prison. Standing outside his cell. Because those sets with the phone are just too expensive. Jason gives Walsh the photo that was waiting for him. Anyone know what's in this photo? is it just me that thinks it's an alien? Jason thinks there are steps in the photo, and if they find the steps, Franco will meet him there. The other clue is that they steps are in LA. Sooooo, all they have to do is find a random set of steps in a GIGANTIC city. My first suggestion would be the area around where the show if filmed b/c I can't imagine anyone springing for a sexy location. Walsh says then it sounds like she should just find the steps and won't be needing Jason. Um, dum dum, Franco will know if Jason is still in prison, so he won't go to the steps.
Commercials
Liz and Nik gaze at their gigantic 3 month old newborn. He's very cute, and I think it's creepy when they use actual newborns or robots, so I'm only teasing and not mocking. She asks about a name. He says he's been too afraid to ask her about it. She apologizes for being so bitchfaceful lately. Nik jokes that Spencer suggested Buzz Lightyear. She giggles and says she doesn't want CPS showing up at her house, so maybe something more traditional. He asks about her father's name. She says "Jeff Cassadine" and they both shake their heads that it doesn't sound right. She says she's always loved the name Aiden. She looks tentatively at his eyes as he says it and smiles when she recognizes he likes the name too. He says technically it would have to be "Aiden Alexia Nikolosovich Cassadine. She teases that it rolls right off the tongue, and then they smile gorgeously at each other. She says she thinks they just agreed on something. Liz tells him that he has three brothers who are still going to push for Buzz Lightyear.
Prison: Jason warns Walsh they have to play by Franco's game, or there will be consequences. Walsh asks why Jason didn't run from Lou. Jason says he can't catch Franco if he's a fugitive. Walsh says those were the magic words, and she hollers for the guard to release him.
Docks: Jax asks Carly what she wants. She cries that she wants more days like today with the kids where they are happy and don't feel the tension. Um, would that be the tension that ONLY YOU seem to be experiencing? She says she needs time to heal, so she leaves. Because she only knows how to love Jax when he's chasing her, so sometimes she runs away for No Particular Reason.
Commercials
Maxie's Pad: Maxie is awesomely dressed in black sweats. She's even wearing vans. I love her. She's eating ice cream from the bucket and talking to herself like she's drunk on Chunky Monkey. She speaks in broken sentences, talking to the characters in her fashion magazine. She's yelling gossip at them like she knows them. Lucky knocks at the door, and she picks up that flame thrower Ripley used in Aliens and screams "get away from me you bitch!" Or really, she answers the door she answers the door with an impatient "what?" he asks if he can come in. She squints at him "um, I thought you were done self destructing yourself with me." She's much kinder than I am, so she lets him in. She gives him the speech she's had going through her mind since they left, that he's mister mixed signals, what with inviting her to a concert and then calling her suck "and then you show up at my door with....what's in that bag?" She is adorably, sincerely intrigued b/c no matter how much Other People Suck, presents are always delightful. He says it's a peace offering. Not impressed with his attitude she shrugs, asks him to put it down and "be gone then" I've missed you, Maxie! He sits and says she was right about everything. He talks about moving on, but he doesn't. blah blah in his head he knows it would be a disaster if the baby was his, but.... He pauses and sucks it up and tosses out into the universe "but in my heart I still want it to be." He says it like an addict admits his addiction.
Liz and Nik sit around being happy for the first time in roughly 8 months, as people on this show are wont to do right before the rug gets ripped out. Of note: don't visit Port Charles in November, and if you ever find yourself very, very happy? get your shots, grab a fire extinguisher, and kiss your loved ones goodbye! Ma Cancer rolls in and cuddles the baby and speaks Magical Wisdom. She has a teeny good luck charm for him. Liz coos that it's his first present, and it's blue. Ma Cancer says she portends it's all going to be great. Oh, Ma Cancer, your wisdom apparently has some blind spots.
Country Club: Alexis talks tough to Sonny and tells him he can't protect Kristina from this deposition. She has to do this, and they have to just let the Bauers do what they are going to do. Kristina shows back up and asks to speak to Sonny alone. Kristina asks if he meant it that he feels sorry for Kiefer.
Jason's Penthouse: Sam and Spinelli sit, and she tells him that he's very dark lately. He says that he understands that he and Maxie will just be friends. Walsh shows up with Jason. Spinelli yammers a bit. Dante and Loo show up and Dante says they have to get to LA. WAlsh says when they find Franco, Jason goes back to jail, and Dante says it sounds like a win-win. Um, be that as it may, why be such a jerk about it? Won't Jason be more effective if there is some element of perceived trust?
Docks: Skye and Jax talk.
Country club: Sonny says he hates that Keifer hit her, but he understands where it's coming from. The rage Kiefer had, he tried to stuff down. He tried to prove to his father that he wasn't weak, but he took it out on Kristina. Krisitna says she could see that Kiefer knew he was hurting her, but he didn't know how to stop. Sonny gently says he needed help. He says maybe if Kiefer was still alive, he could get him some help. Kristina says that means a lot. Kristina says that Kiefer did some awful things, but he wasn't an evil person. Sonny says he's not either. They stare tearfully at each other.
Maxie's Pad: The present was sugar cookies. Maxie is delighted and shoves a giant spooful of ice cream in her mouth and mumbles they are good together, and then she shoves cookie pieces into her ice cream-laden mouth. Lucky laughs and says he thinks they are good as friends.
Liz holds the baby while Ma Cancer coos to Aiden to go live his life b/c he never knows when it will be his last. Um, kind of dark to say to a newborn. Kelly comes by to do paperwork. She has them read off the ID tags to make sure they match. "2455-66" is on both bracelets.
Franco keeps watching his ridiculous edited video.
Jason and Dante are on a plane to LA. They continue to not like each other.
the end
Dr. Bad News Jr. tells Liz it's time to start pushing. Liz and Nik have an easy rapport all of the sudden. It's as if something terrible is about to happen to them.
Country Club: K-Dad keeps yelling at everyone until Sonny stands up to threaten him.
Jason's Penthouse: Spinelli is angry at Dante b/c he blames him for Jason going back to jail. Walsh shows up and seems unaware that Jason has gone to prison.
Prison: Jason calls for the guard and asks to see Warden. Guard tells him to can it.
Franco's Lair: Franco watches a video on his laptop. It's of the night Franco lured Jason to his Loft. I have no idea who did all the tricky camera work. I guess somehow Franco had your typical three camera set up and then edited this together? Franco watches gleefully. In the video, Franco taunts jason until Jason lunges at him. Then it appears that Jason chokes Franco to death....or more accurately, it appears that a man clad in black leather chokes Franco to death. But how would this be admissable in any court of law? It's clearly edited. Not in an Oksana/Mel kind of way, but in a JUMP CUT from close up to wide shot kind of super obvious way. In a "there are at least 2 cameras used" kind of way.
Credits
Delivery room: Liz pushes and grits that she's never having a baby again. Her scarves all roll their eyes. Also, I don't expect Rebecca Herbst to actually be all splayed out, and I've never given birth, but can you do it with your knees pressed together? In the hall, Maxie busts Lucky for eaveslurking.
Metrcourt: Laura Wright is wearing a very ill advised aqua dress. I think she's an exceedingly woman, but this dress is not doing her any favors. Of course, this dress? would make both January Jones and Christina Hendricks looks matronly, which should be impossible. This dress should be shot, is my point. Jax and Carly and their Love Song make up b/c otherwise there won't be any The Drama when Brenduh shows up in a few weeks.
Jason's Penthouse: Dante fills Walsh in that Red Shirt Lou took Jason back to prison. Walsh says Lou doesn't have the authority to do that. Dante points out that Jason broke the terms of his agreement by carrying a gun. Walsh is livid that Jason had a gun. Spinelli says "oh, I didn't realize that was a term of his release. I apologize, Dante, for being a dick. Jason was foolish to walk around his home with a gun." Or not really. Really he paces around, being even more ridiculous and bitchy than Carly on her worst day.
Country Club: Sonny stops K-Dad from yelling at his family and says K-Dad hit Kiefer first.
Commercials
Country Club: Sonny says he's ironically starting to have compassion for Kiefer b/c he knows what it's like to be a scared little boy who's afraid of family violence. He accuses K-Dad of hitting Mrs. Bauer as well. Is this some know fact? How is Mr. B not slapping a slander suit on Sonny? Sonny says Kiefer hated K-Dad every time he hit his mom. Sonny tells Kristina that Kiefer hated himself every time he hit her. K-Dad keeps pushing, and Sonny whispers that he better be on he look out for accidents. He was doing alright, but he sort of lost it at that point. K-Dad leaves, and Sonny asks K if she's okay. She runs away, and Milly runs after her. Alexis looks up at the riddle, wrapped in an enigma who takes two steps forward sometimes like that cat Paula danced with, and then two steps back like Paula herself would do when she would say crazy things about seeing the color of your love.
Loft: Loo is nervous that before Jason was the bait, but now Dante will have a bullseye on his back. and other mixed metaphors. (I originally wrote Methaphors, but those are what Maxie uses) Dante says he'll be fine.
Metrocourt: Skye is wearing this interesting shell top that's cream at the shoulders and then screenprinted (Or something) blue on the bottom, nad it makes it look like it should be feathery. Oh, it's a dress, actually. Anyhoo, Skye needs Jax to go with her to Spain to get Lo's money. Is Lo dead or missing? I can't remember.
GH: Lucky fights with Maxie that he's not here for Liz. She asks what he is doing here. He jackassfully says "anything is better than being self destructive with you." what the bleep is this guy's problem? I think I hate him more than Sonny. Maxie is a methy mess, but she's pretty and well meaning and she is clearly coming from a place of trying to make him be honest with himself. It's none of her damn business, but she doesn't deserve to be treated like trash. "it's none of your business, I refuse to discuss this" is what a decent, kind person says. Shut up, Lucky.
Commercials
Kelly delivers Liz and Nik (and Lucky's) boy. Touching Piano Music sings along to the baby's cries. They don't use the babybot, though, just a doll wrapped in a blankie.
Docks: Carly finds jax on the docks, and he says they were laughing one minute, and then she ran off. He asks what changed. Carly says they were having fun on the boat, but then she saw Michael's ankle monitor. (and instead of praising her maker that he's home with an ankle monitor instead of in prison, she chose to dwell on the past and not learn from it). She doesn't fully blame him and laughs that she's certainly done her fair share. She basically is saying she's never learned how to forgive and not make it "All About Me' for more than 20 hours at a time.
Loft: Dante and Loo are worried about The Danger, but they are in lurve still, so they kiss.
Prison: Walsh visits Jason. In prison. Standing outside his cell. Because those sets with the phone are just too expensive. Jason gives Walsh the photo that was waiting for him. Anyone know what's in this photo? is it just me that thinks it's an alien? Jason thinks there are steps in the photo, and if they find the steps, Franco will meet him there. The other clue is that they steps are in LA. Sooooo, all they have to do is find a random set of steps in a GIGANTIC city. My first suggestion would be the area around where the show if filmed b/c I can't imagine anyone springing for a sexy location. Walsh says then it sounds like she should just find the steps and won't be needing Jason. Um, dum dum, Franco will know if Jason is still in prison, so he won't go to the steps.
Commercials
Liz and Nik gaze at their gigantic 3 month old newborn. He's very cute, and I think it's creepy when they use actual newborns or robots, so I'm only teasing and not mocking. She asks about a name. He says he's been too afraid to ask her about it. She apologizes for being so bitchfaceful lately. Nik jokes that Spencer suggested Buzz Lightyear. She giggles and says she doesn't want CPS showing up at her house, so maybe something more traditional. He asks about her father's name. She says "Jeff Cassadine" and they both shake their heads that it doesn't sound right. She says she's always loved the name Aiden. She looks tentatively at his eyes as he says it and smiles when she recognizes he likes the name too. He says technically it would have to be "Aiden Alexia Nikolosovich Cassadine. She teases that it rolls right off the tongue, and then they smile gorgeously at each other. She says she thinks they just agreed on something. Liz tells him that he has three brothers who are still going to push for Buzz Lightyear.
Prison: Jason warns Walsh they have to play by Franco's game, or there will be consequences. Walsh asks why Jason didn't run from Lou. Jason says he can't catch Franco if he's a fugitive. Walsh says those were the magic words, and she hollers for the guard to release him.
Docks: Jax asks Carly what she wants. She cries that she wants more days like today with the kids where they are happy and don't feel the tension. Um, would that be the tension that ONLY YOU seem to be experiencing? She says she needs time to heal, so she leaves. Because she only knows how to love Jax when he's chasing her, so sometimes she runs away for No Particular Reason.
Commercials
Maxie's Pad: Maxie is awesomely dressed in black sweats. She's even wearing vans. I love her. She's eating ice cream from the bucket and talking to herself like she's drunk on Chunky Monkey. She speaks in broken sentences, talking to the characters in her fashion magazine. She's yelling gossip at them like she knows them. Lucky knocks at the door, and she picks up that flame thrower Ripley used in Aliens and screams "get away from me you bitch!" Or really, she answers the door she answers the door with an impatient "what?" he asks if he can come in. She squints at him "um, I thought you were done self destructing yourself with me." She's much kinder than I am, so she lets him in. She gives him the speech she's had going through her mind since they left, that he's mister mixed signals, what with inviting her to a concert and then calling her suck "and then you show up at my door with....what's in that bag?" She is adorably, sincerely intrigued b/c no matter how much Other People Suck, presents are always delightful. He says it's a peace offering. Not impressed with his attitude she shrugs, asks him to put it down and "be gone then" I've missed you, Maxie! He sits and says she was right about everything. He talks about moving on, but he doesn't. blah blah in his head he knows it would be a disaster if the baby was his, but.... He pauses and sucks it up and tosses out into the universe "but in my heart I still want it to be." He says it like an addict admits his addiction.
Liz and Nik sit around being happy for the first time in roughly 8 months, as people on this show are wont to do right before the rug gets ripped out. Of note: don't visit Port Charles in November, and if you ever find yourself very, very happy? get your shots, grab a fire extinguisher, and kiss your loved ones goodbye! Ma Cancer rolls in and cuddles the baby and speaks Magical Wisdom. She has a teeny good luck charm for him. Liz coos that it's his first present, and it's blue. Ma Cancer says she portends it's all going to be great. Oh, Ma Cancer, your wisdom apparently has some blind spots.
Country Club: Alexis talks tough to Sonny and tells him he can't protect Kristina from this deposition. She has to do this, and they have to just let the Bauers do what they are going to do. Kristina shows back up and asks to speak to Sonny alone. Kristina asks if he meant it that he feels sorry for Kiefer.
Jason's Penthouse: Sam and Spinelli sit, and she tells him that he's very dark lately. He says that he understands that he and Maxie will just be friends. Walsh shows up with Jason. Spinelli yammers a bit. Dante and Loo show up and Dante says they have to get to LA. WAlsh says when they find Franco, Jason goes back to jail, and Dante says it sounds like a win-win. Um, be that as it may, why be such a jerk about it? Won't Jason be more effective if there is some element of perceived trust?
Docks: Skye and Jax talk.
Country club: Sonny says he hates that Keifer hit her, but he understands where it's coming from. The rage Kiefer had, he tried to stuff down. He tried to prove to his father that he wasn't weak, but he took it out on Kristina. Krisitna says she could see that Kiefer knew he was hurting her, but he didn't know how to stop. Sonny gently says he needed help. He says maybe if Kiefer was still alive, he could get him some help. Kristina says that means a lot. Kristina says that Kiefer did some awful things, but he wasn't an evil person. Sonny says he's not either. They stare tearfully at each other.
Maxie's Pad: The present was sugar cookies. Maxie is delighted and shoves a giant spooful of ice cream in her mouth and mumbles they are good together, and then she shoves cookie pieces into her ice cream-laden mouth. Lucky laughs and says he thinks they are good as friends.
Liz holds the baby while Ma Cancer coos to Aiden to go live his life b/c he never knows when it will be his last. Um, kind of dark to say to a newborn. Kelly comes by to do paperwork. She has them read off the ID tags to make sure they match. "2455-66" is on both bracelets.
Franco keeps watching his ridiculous edited video.
Jason and Dante are on a plane to LA. They continue to not like each other.
the end
Merci Madalicous!
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Spinelli is angry at Dante b/c he blames him for Jason going back to jail.
Paging Alexis we need you to push this freakazoid off the balcony.
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Boy do you have Carly's number!!!
I'm finding The Forgivening betwee Nicholas and Elizabeth confusing they do work as a couple when Lizzie keeps here bitchface in check. What would be the sense of the paternity switch if she were with neither of them. Off to the island for you!!!
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Is Lo dead or missing? I can't remember.
Oh mad let me refresh your memory (and fire you up) Remember when Skye that lying whore decided to BETRAY Lo and she cradled little Lila Rae in a rocking chair in Lo's livingroom meanwhile letting Jason "slip in" and go upstairs and KILL Lo in his own home. that's why its even more despicable that this lying wench thinks she's entitled to lo's $$$$.
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vomit. I'd completely blocked that out!
I wondered why I didn't really care about Skye coming back. I guess I had that hidden memory reminding me that she's awful.
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WOHOO! MAD IS BACK MAD IS BACK!
Oh yeah great recaps BTW but the point is MAD IS BACK!
Missed you so much, keep up the lovely snark!
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"I've never given birth, but can you do it with your knees pressed together?"--don't have kids of my own but have seen well over 100 births... Can't be done with the knees pressed together.
"Ma Cancer" almost made me spit all over the computer! Good to have you back, Mad--we missed you.
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