GH 8/24: Sonnneeeee, you'e got some 'splainin' to do!
Van: Sam and Jason have gotten out of the car and start wandering around outside. Faceless Cop Guy explains how he apparently saw they had a flat tire? From 200 yards away? that' why he turned on his siren a mile down the road? Cop Guy may have super powers. He agreeably offers to help them change their tire and get them back on the road. Because Cop Guy is a cop who finds nothing suspicious about an obvious Kidnapper Van and two underwear models dressed like sexy ninjas.
Italy: Before Dark and Shadowy can make the music get super scary, Brenda's Movie Star Boyfriend shows up. So...are they like if Linda Evangelista and Sam Worthington hooked up?
Corinthaus: Lou lies about there being no gun at the scene, and Dante is very disappointed in Sonny. Like how Ricky was always disappointed in Looseee.
Credits
Emma's Cottage: Lisa, putting on her very best Sane Person Face, like how Hannibal Lector often seemed almost charming enough to let your flesh be in the same room with him? and then, whoops, next thing you know he's wearing your face and has hidden your body on top of an elevator. Robin says she knows what Lisa is doing. Who wants to go halfsies on a $10 bet that Robin in fact has no idea with whom she's dealing.
Van: Sam starts talking to Coppy and says Coppy should just arrest Jason for his blind, macho pride because you know how women ask for directions, and men won't. Don't even get me started. Coppy is adorably stupid and says his wife wants him to get a GPS. Or maybe Coppy recently read a Penthouse Forum just like this and is hoping to see what kind of brown chicken brown cow they can get going in the back of the Kidnapper Van. He wants to help with the tire again, but Jason says no.
Italy: Brenda and Leo Gyllenhaal chat. Well, rather, sweet Shia Bale tries to be charming, and Brenda looks like she's trying to remember her lines. I"m sure this actor is perfectly delightful, but no one. Not Heath Ledger himself could make this endless expository cow paddy of a scene worth watching. Next!
Corinthaus: Sonny says he knew the cops would come, so why would he lie about the gun. he's not stupid. Lou says he is arrogant. Sonny bellows "shut up!" Sonny turns to Dante and says he's telling the truth "and you believe me, and you have every right to do that." Hey, Sonny, if you shoot a man in self defense, then a way to prove you didn't mean to kill him is to call 911 from the actual scene and try tokeep the guy from bleeding out. 1. Sonny should always have guards with him 24/7 to make these very calls. 2. Everywhere in Port Charles is only 3 minutes. 3. It was only a GSW to the chest. They make first aid kits for that at the Walgreen's around the corner from Kelly's. It only takes a large bandage and special cream that leaves not scars.
Commercials
Van: Coppy finds it curious that Sexy Underwear Model Guy won't let him open the Kidnapper Van. Jason says if Coppy changes the tire, then Sam will keep nagging. Coppy gets a call that here in Labotomy County, a truck crashed and spilled potato chips all over the road. Nope, didn't make that up. he cop actually has to leave to go clean up potato chips. He says that he's going towards Abbotsville too, which is where Jason and Sam said they were going. Inexplicably, Jason and Sam congratulate each other on how successfully they just handled a cop that makes PC cops look positively competent.
corinthaus: blah blah bicker. It's all kind of awesome here. Sonny keeps talking about how it's so preposterous that anyone would think he'd kill Johnny on purpose b/c he'd totally decided to make peace and everyone should know that's 100% true on account of how he just said it was true. Sonny adds that if he wanted to kill someone, everyone knows that "I'd just make them disappear" hahahaha! What kind of cruddy argument is that to make to a roomful of cops? Worst Mobster Ever! Dante points this out by saying "um, like you did to Claudia" Sonny retorts quickly that he only did that after Michael killed her in self defense. How can he think he's winning this argument? I think in his mind this is Isner/Manut. When really, it's just....Isner/Madcaps. done before it started. Sonny argues that Dante said he wanted to let the facts speak for themselves in Claud's murder case. Sonny bizarrely concludes that this is what he's doing now...relying on the facts, and he hopes justice prevails. hahahahaha! Sonny is so awesome sometimes. The logic acrobatics of which this man is capable would win the gold every time. Dante says he's done with Sonny's lies. Sonny is dragged away, but we still here him calling out to Dante to follow his heart, or take the ring to Mordor, or whatever hobbity thing he's on about.
Emma's Cottage: Robin says Lisa took Emma to scare them. that she's jellus or whatever. Lisa continues to seem so endearingly innocent and hurt by these accusations. She's so ridiculous that I love her anyway sometimes. She apologizes and leaves. Robin slams the door and says Lisa lied to their face. Patrick apologizes and says this is all his fault. damn straight, dummy.
Commercials
Emma's Cottage: patrick says that Lisa has been pursuing him, and he's not done enough about it to dissuade her. Robin says that Lisa is stalking them, and she';s going to call Mac to get a restraining order. Patrick cries and says he hasn't done enough to stop Lisa b/c he was afraid of what she would say. He has Robin';s full attention, and she says he's scaring her. His eyes grow red, and he chokes on his words a little and finally admits that when she was in Africa, he slept with Lisa.
Van: Sam has found "water, blanket, and chocolate bar" Jason blows up the van. Because I guess Coppy is supposed to be that moronic that the Kidnapper Van the Sexy Pirate Ninjas were just driving blew up? and then Sam daphnes her ankle and can't walk on it because nothing says Ninja like 6 inch heels. Luckily she weighs a buck ten sopping wet, so Jason carries her and her useless backpack.
Italy: Brenda and ...oh, he reminds me of if Greg Kinear and Tom Hank's son had a baby. Charming and sweet but endlessly asexual. Anyhoo, they continue their tedious Brenurphy conversation.
Bullpen: Diane is irate that Sonny was brought in. Lou says Sonny already confessed to murder. Diane's head blows off her head and says Sonny knows better than to say anything without her present. Sonny says it was self defense. Diane says there is no way to prove it was premeditated. Walsh apparated into the scene at some point and says there is.
Commercials
Emma's Cottage: Robin rocks gently from side to side and asks Patrick to repeat what he said. Patrick cries and says he slept with Lisa, the night she came home...he had too much to drink. Her eyes well with tears, and she shrugs and exhales. Piano Guy is sad and plays sad notes. She says it explains a lot. Her face makes me cry a little. He says he's sorry, and then she starts to heart breakingly chuckle. I love to mock Robin, but her reaction here just kills me. I 100% identify with someone like her replaying every conversation she's had about Lisa and with Lisa for weeks and realizing that the dreadful part of this betrayal isn't just the super obvious parts that her husband decided to have an orgasm inside another woman's body, but that she's gone around being loyal and defending him and their marriage. She sits and wipes away the tears and says "I'm an idiot." Patrick says she's not an idiot. She laughs and says solemnly that she is, she thought her husband would be faithful. He sits in front of her and cries and promiess that he only loves her and Emma. She once again elicits a bitter chuckle. It's more like a hiccup than a laugh. and on her face is the remnant of a smile, but in her eyes is a slow brewing rage.
Italy: Brenda doesn't want Boyfriend out of her life. She stammers a bit. She says that horrible romantic line that she could come to rely on him. He scoffs. She says love is a specific thing "Love is un.....dying....overly emotional. Crazy! I will give up my whole entire life and everything that matters to me." She's not ready to do that, to give up her whole life for someone again, not even someone as sweet as him. Boyfriend gently says he's not asking her to live her life for him, just with him. Brenda says he deserves the "crazy, I will throw my whole life away kind of love." She doesn't have that to give anymore. That's so sad, really, that she thinks that.
Metrocourt: Jax breaks the news to Michael that Johnny was shot. MIchael has an emotional reaction, almost as if a gun shot wound to the chest were a dangerous thing, and timidly asks if JOhnny is alright. He can't understand why Sonny would do this now.
GH: Patches talks to Dante. He's obsessed with Ethan knowing more than he says. He doesn't buy that Sonny caught Johnny unprepared. Dante says that's not hard to believe.
Bullpen: Walsh plays a recording of Sonny talking about how he's going to push Johnny toattack him. "if he shoots at me first, I'll be the last one shooting, because the law allows me to defend myself." Lou tries not to come in his pants. Diane says it's not admissable. Walsh says that Sonny also says he was willing to take the risk yadda yadda yadda malice aforethought ergo attempted murder.
Commercials
GH: Lisa gives Normal Human Sounding compliments to a nurse's hair and then Normal Humanly invites Stephen for a drink. Stephen is concerned and asked if Patrick talked to her. She Normal Human shrugs and says she took Emma for ice cream, and Robin over reacted. "Why is everything with her got to be The Drama?"
Emma's Cottage: Robin sits and processes. Patrick begs her to break something or say something. Robin says before she went to Africa, Patrick asked her why he and Robin weren't enough. "Did you decide that about me before you slept with someone else?" Patrick cries and doesn't want to go throgh this part. Robin's voice is cool, but her eyes are ful of tears. He says she is enough. She smiles gorgeously that obviously she's not, so she wants the details. Her eyes narrow and she says otherwise she'll just have to imagine all the places he did Lisa. She asks when she went to New York. He says it wasn't. She asks if she's supposed to believe that. He says it was just once. She repeats that phrase as many times as she can "just once? Just...just once....Just once that you betrayed me? just once that you broke our vows? Just once" She cries for a bit. "Just once you let me think I was paranoid, that Lisa was dropping all those hints because you didn't want to tell me the truth?" Patrick cries that he was scared. Robins cries and asks if he wants to be with her. He stands up while she asks "are you just staying with me b/c we're married and have a baby?" Patrick promises that he's only ever just wanted her. She speaks over him saying he's been distant. He says it's b/c the guilt was killing him. She scoffs a little, and they stand briefly in silence. He says he doesn't deserve her, and she's quick to agree. She says she's been distant at times, adn they'v ehad problems, but she thought they would get past that. She asks if he' getting back at her. She laughs bitterly and impersonates him "Robin's stuck me in this life I never wanted, so I'll get back at her by screwing Lisa." He says he loves her. She looks up into his eyes and asks if he knows what that means, and that she doesn't think he does. "If you did, you sure as hell wouldn't have gone and trashed our marriage." Music Guy ends with a sad flourish.
GH: Lucky questions Maya. Ethan gets in the way, and she sends him off to get coffee. Lucky asks if JOhnny said anything. She says he was pretty groggy and answers he didn't say anythign about fighting back or being armed. She wishes she could help.
Lobby: Michael stops by. Dante says it's not a good idea for him to be around. Michael angrily asks Dante to give Sonny the benefit of the doubt. Dante says he did, but the evidence proves otherwise.
Cafe Interrogate: Diane laments that she can't figure out how to get the recording out. She and Sonny bicker. Sonny wants Diane to try to use Dimple Power on her, or whatever. Diane gripes about it, but she summons Walsh into Cafe Interrogate. Sonny asks to be alone with Walsh. Walsh won't look at him at first. Sonny says he's innocent.
Commercials
Emma's Cottage: Patrick and Robin sit in their beautiful bodies with their beautiful faces on their beautiful sofa in their beautiful home and stare at the wall and try not to cry. She breaks the silence, "so you told Lisa 'never again'?" Patrick says he did so right after and every time since. Robin says that Patrick knew Lisa cut up the photos and he covered for her. Patrick says he was afraid to say anything. Robin asks if he gave her a key to the house. His face grows redder and redder, but he holds back tears and says he didn't,a nd he doesn't know how she got into the house, and I appreciate that he doesn't cry, but that he knows every word he says sounds like a lie, and there's nothing he can do about it right now. Robin nods and says "she's who threw away my meds." Patrick agrees. "So you knew how angry and spiteful she could be? and she took our daughter, our baby girl, and you still said nothing." Patrick weakly says he didn't want to hold up the search. Robin's anger erupts and she bellows for him to shut up, the word reverberating around the cottage. She says she doesn't want to hear his lies. He puts his head down. He stands and says they can get past this. She picks up their wedding picture. They don't speak and say volumes. She hurls the photo at the door, and it shatters splendidly. "Are you happy now? I broke something. so why don't you go out and get yourself a shiny, new frame and convince yourself that everything can be fixed?" He tries to go to her, and she barks at him to get out. "I will not look at you pouting any longer." He weakly says please, and she says "Get! .....OUt!" What's perfect about this scene is how silent Music Guy was the whole time. I didn't notice it until Patrick leaves and Piano Guy gets all wobbly and sad about everything, but I very much appreciate that the only sound in the room was Patrick's grief and Robin's anger, and their words. No music was needed to tell us this was sad or dramatic. Good job, team. Patrick leaves, and Robin instantly crumbles to the floor and sobs in harsh, wheezing gasps. Patrick peers through the door.
Van: whatever, these two idiots are still wandering around upstate NY in their foolish black clothes.
Italy: Brenda and Murphy leave to go be annoying in some other room somewhere else. she giggles goodbye. Dark and Shadowy leaves off the terrace.
Cafe Interrogate: Sonny says he was just walking to his restaurant, and JOhnny pulled a gun on him. walsh asks why Johnny has the hole in his chest. Sonny says Johnny took too long to pull the trigger, so he got distracted, na dSonny was able to shoot him. Walsh says it's very compelling, and Sonny counts on being compelling. She says Sonny clearly communicated his intent. "I'm sorry. this game is over. You tried to play me, and you lost." She leaves.Sonny stares out the little window.
the end
Thanks for reading!
I'm biting my cheeks right now to keep the laughter in. This is so fantastic!
Reply to this
Sonny is dragged away, but we still here him calling out to Dante to follow his heart, or take the ring to Mordor, or whatever hobbity thing he's on about.
I laughed so hard that I almost cried. Mad is so awesome!
Reply to this
I'm sorry. this game is over. You tried to play me, and you lost." She leaves.Sonny stares out the little window.
OH PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS FOR REAL.....pretty please with sugar and whipped cream and a cherry and chopped walnuts or whatever kind of nuts you like?
Reply to this
whether it's for real tomorrow, time will tell, but that was an actual quote from Walsh!
Reply to this
Girl....you should be using your powers for good and not evil....you had me feeling sorry for Robin!!! Great job!!
You described the sexy Ninja underwear models to a T!!!
Reply to this
It was only a GSW to the chest. They make first aid kits for that at the Walgreen's around the corner from Kelly's. It only takes a large bandage and special cream that leaves not scars.
Loved it!
Reply to this
"Kidnapper Van" "Sexy Pirate Ningas" "Lobotomy County" and so much more! Mad, how do you think of this stuff? Loved Emma's Cottage. Great GREAT job Mad!
Reply to this
Mrs Mad,I'm crackin up over the title! Too funny! I've loved Robin from the day she showed as a little girl and love her now! She did great acting today, I felt her pain. I've also loved Jason from the day Alan took him home to Monica and I still do BUT he and Spam, er....Sam bored me endlessly today and everyday they're together(what a snoozefest)! Thanks for the great caps!
Reply to this
Reading these recaps before I watch the show every day really adds to my viewing pleasure- thanks, Mad, reading these is the highlight of my day!
Reply to this
Walsh apparated into the scene at some point and says there is.
Maybe she passed her test at Hogwarts?
Reply to this
Your retelling just made me shed another tear. It was a remarkably realistic scene. Beautifully done by both of them.
Reply to this
Italy: Brenda and Leo Gyllenhaal chat. Well, rather, sweet Shia Bale tries to be charming, and Brenda looks like she's trying to remember her lines. I"m sure this actor is perfectly delightful, but no one. Not Heath Ledger himself could make this endless expository cow paddy of a scene worth watching. Next!
Great segment fantastic caps (as usual)
Reply to this
"Lou tries not to come in his pants." OMG! I just about spit my beets!! Particularly biting wit, today.
I too have had enough of the "high-heeled hi-jinx." Total snooze fest..
Reply to this