GH 12/21: The many (gorgeous) faces of Elizabeth Webber
Previously:
Liz befriended a guy she assumed was a patient, and who I assumed was Australian, but who turned out to be (an astonishingly unethical) psychiatrist and Scottish. But I guess I can't be too mad at him for not revealing that he's her doctor, when she was also lying about needing medical attention. Particularly when Liez was faking the vapors so that she could bewitch Lucky, so that as soon as he was happy again, she'd be free to get knocked up by (insert name).
Maxie decorates Unkept Woman Manor b/c she wants Liz and Lucky to fall in love, so that Liz will back off Matt. Terrible plan, Maxie, if you want Liz to want Lucky, then you need Liz to marry Ethan, so then Liz will be attracted to Lucky. Likewise, if you want her away from Matt, then she needs to marry Matt, so that she'll be attracted to Patrick. duh. Liz and Lucky play house for 3 minutes, but then Maxie tattles on Liz for faking the vapors, and Lucky overhears and dumps her again. and she cries pathetically and unattractively all over the front porch.
Matt is sad that he tested his cancer cure on some rich, mobstery politician dude, who died. Liz, and then later Robin and Patrick try to cheer him up. Matt loves being a whiny prat, though, so it doesn't help.
Sonny and Kate, well, they did stuff in various rooms that are located in various boroughs of NYC, but I had to fast forward all of it. Last we saw them, he was packed and leaving, and she sat around in tights and a suit staring at him like an idiot for what seemed like hours.
Boring Sean has PTSD for 4 minutes after a shooting at Pozzouli's, but then Dr. Abs lets Sean pet a dog, and everything is cured. I guess petting a dog is to PTSD as bushes are to hydrocodone addiction. Not a fair comparison, though, b/c that doggies is super cute, and I wish every returning vet would be issued one to ease his or her return to civilian life. Who do I talk to about making that a rule?
Sam admitted she was raped to Michael because that's the sort of bomb. I think dealing with a rape is the sort of thing where I'd give any person a very wide berth and however they needed to deal with it, cope with it, rage about it, I'd basically have no rules. Except for maybe giving someone more than 10 minutes to mourn the love of their life before vomiting something that awful all over them. particularly since Michael has his own rape issues w/r/t Franco.
also, Sam and Michael spend about 19 hours in an empty hospital room at Chicago Mercy, so long that Jason has time to fly to Chicago and back, and they are still hanging around and yammering.
Jason's worried about his rages, and Monica begs him to get some help, but he shuts down around her. Jason overhears Sam telling Michael that she can't talk to Jason about the rape b/c Jason is too busy blaming himself and trying to murder inanimate objects.
Be back in a bit for Wednesday's recap
ouch, my computer died for a bit, but here we are.
Liz smacks Maxie and demands she stay out of her life.
Lucky apologizes to his kids that he's going to abandon them to chase ghosts.
Loo and Dante lie in bed and giggle about how fun it is to be in love.
Sonny and Jason chat. Jason laments that Bernie was shot when Jason was the target. Sonny says that Jason never gets hurt unless he's distracted, adn right now, Sonny just walked in without any guards. Jason stares and murmurs that he knew it was Sonny. Sonny asks, in his mumbling way,if Jason is saying he's not distracted.
also, the whole time "Noel" plays. because of how all of this has so much to do with Jesus. Careful what you wish for....
Credits
scenes from an Italian Restaurant: Sonny mumbles about the Biz. they mumble about Franco. Jason barks at Sonny.
NYC Hotel: Sonny and Loo dress and enjoy their engagement moon. They gorgeously tease each other about whether they are stubborn or strong willed. She points out that her brothers once kicked his ass. He kisses her and points out that he was right, and her brothers were wrong.
Unkept Woman Manor. Lucky opens a sad little gift from Cam, who stares up at his hero with sad, brown eyes and wants Lucky back with Liz.
Nurse's Station: Liz (wearing a fab scarf) and Maxie (in a gorgeous purple coat) fight about Lucky and Matt. Dr. Abs eaveslurks. Matt rushes up to stop a cat fight. Maxie reminds all of us that Liez faked a break down. Liez bitchfaces for Maxie to prove it. Maxie gleefully says that Matt told her so. Liez insta-switches to Damsel-in-Distress_face and asks Matt if this is true.
commercials
Nurse's Station: Liez berates Matt for tattling on her. To his credit, Matt doesn't back down and points out that he can both love Liz as a friend and also not approve of her decisions. Maxie l oves this. She takes the Swiss army toothpic that Matt put in Liz's back and opens up all the other implements, delighting in twisting them in Liz's wee back. Matt tells Maxie to knock it off. (all he wants for Christmas is a threesome, and Maxie isn't helping)
Unkept Woman Manor: Lucky continues to explain to heart broken Cameron that sometimes Daddy's need to abandon their children to do fun stuff, but that Cam should in no way take this as a reason to be sad and hurt. I paraphrase, but also, shut UP, Lucky. You can just as well chase ghosts in 5 days as you can right now. and thus teach your son that there are some things that you always care about and do no matter what. but sure, teach Cam that almost anything is more important than him. that probably won't leave a mark. idiot. Lucky yammers that he and Liz can't be married, which is fair, but that doesn't explain leaving before Christmas eve. Cam runs upstairs to be ignored with his presents, and Lucky says creepy things to Aidan (who is endlessly adorable) that sometimes you just have to leave. Ethan shows up to call his brother out on his assholery.
Scenes from an Italian Restaraunt: Jason laments that he can't squash the anger away. Sonny says that this happens. Jason says that he learned how to deal with his problems b/c he imprinted on crazy ass, bi-polar Sonny. Sonny, of course, thinks that Jason is trying to thank him. heh. Sonny's obtuseness is special. It takes a special narcissist to think Jason is trying to say he thinks it's a good thing that he's always tried to murder his feelings like Sonny does.
Com
NYC Hotel: Dante and Loo went the World Trade Center Memorial. It's a touching, solemn moment. He recognized names of police and firefighters from his neighborhood. He would like to think he is made of the same remarkable traits of those heroes. and our girl Loo? she manages to make ground zero about her and asks if this is a test. because this comment blew my mind, I'll go ahead and keep my mind open until the next segment.
Unkept Woman Manor: so...this gross scene happens. Ethan is dubious that Lucky should abandon his children at Christmas, and Lucky says that he understands Luke now b/c Liez was faking the vapors to get him back. and sure, that's why Lukcy shouldn't marry Liz, but what does it have to do with Cam and Aidan? or Luke and Laura for that matter? Liz is her own crazy ass ingenue gone bad, and I give her props for her nuttiness, but why is this Laura's fault? or Luke's? Liz made her own choice. Lucky is right not to date her, but he's still shitty for leaving his kids at Christmas.
Nurse's Station: two conversations happen
1. Matt and Liez argue that holding a family together is worthy goal, even if by dubious measures.
2. Maxie points out Liez slapped her, and Liz says this was justified. and then Maxie gets nasty and says Liez chased her baby dady away, and they'll ask why mommy chased daddy away. hahahaha. that was so mean and awesome. Liz sputters nonsense, but she lost this round, so she leaves. and Maxie leaves too, b/c Matt defended Liz.
Scenes from: Sonny mutters stuff while Jason speaks. Jason concedes they can't stop a full attack from the Z'[s right now. holy shitballs, y'all. It took an Oscar nominee, but this show finally found a The Danger that can de-omnipotencize jason. Sonny is a dick and asks Jason to just get over himself and be in charge like always. Jason snaps at Sonny "could you get out of your head all of those times you (paraphrasing) couldn't get out of your own goddamn head? would that have been easy to just say 'knock it off?'" It's worth noting that the shot grows increasingly close up, the realer it gets. In super close up, sonny nods that Jason has been very good to him. in super close up, Jason says Sonny is trying to manage him. Sonny says this sounds familiar. Jason barks that this is what Sonny said. Sonny nods and says he understood what Jason dealt with all those years ago.
commercials
Scenes from: we're back to a 2 person shot. Sonny defends that he hired Jason to give him a life so Jason didn't have to depend on the Q's. Jason nods and concedes that Sonny did that for him. Sonny mumbles that Lily died, and Sonny's life fell apart. Sonny further concedes that he and Jason take turns being boss, but he only mentions one time when Jason couldn't be in charge. Sonny regrets that he hurt people during the one time Jason wasn't in charge. Jason doesn't want to insult a guy he likes, so he agrees that it's been a give and take. He changes the subject to robin. Jason suggests Robin could use Sonny's help. Sonny wisely doesn't want to offend Patrick by overstepping. then Sonny turns it back to Jason, and the music gets weird. Sony's words become muddled under the music as he asks again for Jason to tell him what's bothering him. Jason insists it's not up for discussion.
NYC: Loo is worried that Dante wants her to be one of the spouses on that Memorial that lost someone, or that their sacrifice makes them not miss them as much. Dante says he loves her, but he sadly can't expect her to change herself if being a cops' wife is too much. Loo is offended and asks if he thinks she's withdrawing her marriage invite.
Unkept Woman Manor: Lucky and Ethan joke about how Lucky is abandoning his kids. Ethan admits he's met a young woman at Wyndermere. way to keep a secret, dummy. Lucky thinks Ethan is being conned. Ethan thinks she's a lost cat. oy. Lucky warns Ethan not to put too much stock in Wyndermere. Ethan rightly points out that Lucky is going back to Ireland b/c of faith in stones. Lucky condescendes that stones are not dumb like people. blah blah.
Nurse's station: Liz bitchfaces to Dr. Abs that he manipulated her. She's right. He's unethical. but also, obviouly that painting if of him saving her from drowning. they bicker, and then cam calls to say Lucky is leving, so she rushes away.
commercials
Nurses'station: Matt and Maxie bicker about how Matt didn't defend her when learning that Liz slapped her. He shuts down her bickering and asks her to talk about Christmas. She says she loves waking up Christmas morn and feeling like there is still magic. His Christmas wish is to spend it with her. she melts. as you would.
Unkept Woman Manor: what's up with this bullshit that Luara trapped Luke into staying? they had two kids, and they loved each other. how is that a trap? eff off show.
NYC Hotel: Loo doesn't suck, it turns out. She was struck by the enormity of the memorial and wonders if it will ever be possible to visit that place and not feel the loss. Dante nods sadly, takes her hand and says he hopes not. She cried on the way back, and Dante saw. She was struck by all the busy activity in lower Manhattan, the people with their coffee, on their way to work and appointments. She recognized this is how it looked that Tuesday and wonders if people would have acted differently if they had known. Dante gently says no one ever knows. He says we have to appreciate each day. she adds she has to quit counting the way she can lose everything and appreciate each moment. they seal the deal with a kiss. I appreciated that TV just went on and acted like it was all okay back in 2001. It was oddly comforting to pretend like Ross and Rachel mattered. but it's nice when TV talks about it as if they have been talking about it all along. I mean, in 2001, Loo was probably still a 5 year old for the 4th year.
Scenes from: Jason says he first lost it in Hawaii. Jason reveals there were cameras, but he didn't sent Sam home when he realized. Carly and Sean left, and he and Jason wanted to spend the last couple of days together. He left the house open, and Franco got his chance. Sonny asked what Franco did.
commercialls
Scenes from: Jason says Franco left a trap, and Jason started yelling at the walls. Jason says Franco let him out and left a trail. Sonny says we all want to save the people we love, but we can't. Sonny says Jason is crucifying himself. oy. Sonny begs Jason to trust him to help. Jason stares at him through red rims.
airport: Hot Mommy hugs her kids and exclaims their dad will be happy to see them. dude, by dad kind of sucked, bu the never missed a Christmas. Missing Christmas (or any holiday, full on SUCKS,dad)
Maxie and Matt are playful, but he's distracted by Liz and Maxie asks him to choose.
Liez asks Dr. Abs for help. with finding her g spot. am I right?
Loo and Dante pull away from their kiss. He thanks her. she says she's a glass half empty kind of person. she was afraid that her love for him wouldn't last. today put it in perspective for her, and now she just wants to appreciate every day they have. She also tells him that she's proud of him and his job. They agree to love every day together. he says that they shouldn't wait to get married.
Liz befriended a guy she assumed was a patient, and who I assumed was Australian, but who turned out to be (an astonishingly unethical) psychiatrist and Scottish. But I guess I can't be too mad at him for not revealing that he's her doctor, when she was also lying about needing medical attention. Particularly when Liez was faking the vapors so that she could bewitch Lucky, so that as soon as he was happy again, she'd be free to get knocked up by (insert name).
Maxie decorates Unkept Woman Manor b/c she wants Liz and Lucky to fall in love, so that Liz will back off Matt. Terrible plan, Maxie, if you want Liz to want Lucky, then you need Liz to marry Ethan, so then Liz will be attracted to Lucky. Likewise, if you want her away from Matt, then she needs to marry Matt, so that she'll be attracted to Patrick. duh. Liz and Lucky play house for 3 minutes, but then Maxie tattles on Liz for faking the vapors, and Lucky overhears and dumps her again. and she cries pathetically and unattractively all over the front porch.
Matt is sad that he tested his cancer cure on some rich, mobstery politician dude, who died. Liz, and then later Robin and Patrick try to cheer him up. Matt loves being a whiny prat, though, so it doesn't help.
Sonny and Kate, well, they did stuff in various rooms that are located in various boroughs of NYC, but I had to fast forward all of it. Last we saw them, he was packed and leaving, and she sat around in tights and a suit staring at him like an idiot for what seemed like hours.
Boring Sean has PTSD for 4 minutes after a shooting at Pozzouli's, but then Dr. Abs lets Sean pet a dog, and everything is cured. I guess petting a dog is to PTSD as bushes are to hydrocodone addiction. Not a fair comparison, though, b/c that doggies is super cute, and I wish every returning vet would be issued one to ease his or her return to civilian life. Who do I talk to about making that a rule?
Sam admitted she was raped to Michael because that's the sort of bomb. I think dealing with a rape is the sort of thing where I'd give any person a very wide berth and however they needed to deal with it, cope with it, rage about it, I'd basically have no rules. Except for maybe giving someone more than 10 minutes to mourn the love of their life before vomiting something that awful all over them. particularly since Michael has his own rape issues w/r/t Franco.
also, Sam and Michael spend about 19 hours in an empty hospital room at Chicago Mercy, so long that Jason has time to fly to Chicago and back, and they are still hanging around and yammering.
Jason's worried about his rages, and Monica begs him to get some help, but he shuts down around her. Jason overhears Sam telling Michael that she can't talk to Jason about the rape b/c Jason is too busy blaming himself and trying to murder inanimate objects.
Be back in a bit for Wednesday's recap
ouch, my computer died for a bit, but here we are.
Liz smacks Maxie and demands she stay out of her life.
Lucky apologizes to his kids that he's going to abandon them to chase ghosts.
Loo and Dante lie in bed and giggle about how fun it is to be in love.
Sonny and Jason chat. Jason laments that Bernie was shot when Jason was the target. Sonny says that Jason never gets hurt unless he's distracted, adn right now, Sonny just walked in without any guards. Jason stares and murmurs that he knew it was Sonny. Sonny asks, in his mumbling way,if Jason is saying he's not distracted.
also, the whole time "Noel" plays. because of how all of this has so much to do with Jesus. Careful what you wish for....
Credits
scenes from an Italian Restaurant: Sonny mumbles about the Biz. they mumble about Franco. Jason barks at Sonny.
NYC Hotel: Sonny and Loo dress and enjoy their engagement moon. They gorgeously tease each other about whether they are stubborn or strong willed. She points out that her brothers once kicked his ass. He kisses her and points out that he was right, and her brothers were wrong.
Unkept Woman Manor. Lucky opens a sad little gift from Cam, who stares up at his hero with sad, brown eyes and wants Lucky back with Liz.
Nurse's Station: Liz (wearing a fab scarf) and Maxie (in a gorgeous purple coat) fight about Lucky and Matt. Dr. Abs eaveslurks. Matt rushes up to stop a cat fight. Maxie reminds all of us that Liez faked a break down. Liez bitchfaces for Maxie to prove it. Maxie gleefully says that Matt told her so. Liez insta-switches to Damsel-in-Distress_face and asks Matt if this is true.
commercials
Nurse's Station: Liez berates Matt for tattling on her. To his credit, Matt doesn't back down and points out that he can both love Liz as a friend and also not approve of her decisions. Maxie l oves this. She takes the Swiss army toothpic that Matt put in Liz's back and opens up all the other implements, delighting in twisting them in Liz's wee back. Matt tells Maxie to knock it off. (all he wants for Christmas is a threesome, and Maxie isn't helping)
Unkept Woman Manor: Lucky continues to explain to heart broken Cameron that sometimes Daddy's need to abandon their children to do fun stuff, but that Cam should in no way take this as a reason to be sad and hurt. I paraphrase, but also, shut UP, Lucky. You can just as well chase ghosts in 5 days as you can right now. and thus teach your son that there are some things that you always care about and do no matter what. but sure, teach Cam that almost anything is more important than him. that probably won't leave a mark. idiot. Lucky yammers that he and Liz can't be married, which is fair, but that doesn't explain leaving before Christmas eve. Cam runs upstairs to be ignored with his presents, and Lucky says creepy things to Aidan (who is endlessly adorable) that sometimes you just have to leave. Ethan shows up to call his brother out on his assholery.
Scenes from an Italian Restaraunt: Jason laments that he can't squash the anger away. Sonny says that this happens. Jason says that he learned how to deal with his problems b/c he imprinted on crazy ass, bi-polar Sonny. Sonny, of course, thinks that Jason is trying to thank him. heh. Sonny's obtuseness is special. It takes a special narcissist to think Jason is trying to say he thinks it's a good thing that he's always tried to murder his feelings like Sonny does.
Com
NYC Hotel: Dante and Loo went the World Trade Center Memorial. It's a touching, solemn moment. He recognized names of police and firefighters from his neighborhood. He would like to think he is made of the same remarkable traits of those heroes. and our girl Loo? she manages to make ground zero about her and asks if this is a test. because this comment blew my mind, I'll go ahead and keep my mind open until the next segment.
Unkept Woman Manor: so...this gross scene happens. Ethan is dubious that Lucky should abandon his children at Christmas, and Lucky says that he understands Luke now b/c Liez was faking the vapors to get him back. and sure, that's why Lukcy shouldn't marry Liz, but what does it have to do with Cam and Aidan? or Luke and Laura for that matter? Liz is her own crazy ass ingenue gone bad, and I give her props for her nuttiness, but why is this Laura's fault? or Luke's? Liz made her own choice. Lucky is right not to date her, but he's still shitty for leaving his kids at Christmas.
Nurse's Station: two conversations happen
1. Matt and Liez argue that holding a family together is worthy goal, even if by dubious measures.
2. Maxie points out Liez slapped her, and Liz says this was justified. and then Maxie gets nasty and says Liez chased her baby dady away, and they'll ask why mommy chased daddy away. hahahaha. that was so mean and awesome. Liz sputters nonsense, but she lost this round, so she leaves. and Maxie leaves too, b/c Matt defended Liz.
Scenes from: Sonny mutters stuff while Jason speaks. Jason concedes they can't stop a full attack from the Z'[s right now. holy shitballs, y'all. It took an Oscar nominee, but this show finally found a The Danger that can de-omnipotencize jason. Sonny is a dick and asks Jason to just get over himself and be in charge like always. Jason snaps at Sonny "could you get out of your head all of those times you (paraphrasing) couldn't get out of your own goddamn head? would that have been easy to just say 'knock it off?'" It's worth noting that the shot grows increasingly close up, the realer it gets. In super close up, sonny nods that Jason has been very good to him. in super close up, Jason says Sonny is trying to manage him. Sonny says this sounds familiar. Jason barks that this is what Sonny said. Sonny nods and says he understood what Jason dealt with all those years ago.
commercials
Scenes from: we're back to a 2 person shot. Sonny defends that he hired Jason to give him a life so Jason didn't have to depend on the Q's. Jason nods and concedes that Sonny did that for him. Sonny mumbles that Lily died, and Sonny's life fell apart. Sonny further concedes that he and Jason take turns being boss, but he only mentions one time when Jason couldn't be in charge. Sonny regrets that he hurt people during the one time Jason wasn't in charge. Jason doesn't want to insult a guy he likes, so he agrees that it's been a give and take. He changes the subject to robin. Jason suggests Robin could use Sonny's help. Sonny wisely doesn't want to offend Patrick by overstepping. then Sonny turns it back to Jason, and the music gets weird. Sony's words become muddled under the music as he asks again for Jason to tell him what's bothering him. Jason insists it's not up for discussion.
NYC: Loo is worried that Dante wants her to be one of the spouses on that Memorial that lost someone, or that their sacrifice makes them not miss them as much. Dante says he loves her, but he sadly can't expect her to change herself if being a cops' wife is too much. Loo is offended and asks if he thinks she's withdrawing her marriage invite.
Unkept Woman Manor: Lucky and Ethan joke about how Lucky is abandoning his kids. Ethan admits he's met a young woman at Wyndermere. way to keep a secret, dummy. Lucky thinks Ethan is being conned. Ethan thinks she's a lost cat. oy. Lucky warns Ethan not to put too much stock in Wyndermere. Ethan rightly points out that Lucky is going back to Ireland b/c of faith in stones. Lucky condescendes that stones are not dumb like people. blah blah.
Nurse's station: Liz bitchfaces to Dr. Abs that he manipulated her. She's right. He's unethical. but also, obviouly that painting if of him saving her from drowning. they bicker, and then cam calls to say Lucky is leving, so she rushes away.
commercials
Nurses'station: Matt and Maxie bicker about how Matt didn't defend her when learning that Liz slapped her. He shuts down her bickering and asks her to talk about Christmas. She says she loves waking up Christmas morn and feeling like there is still magic. His Christmas wish is to spend it with her. she melts. as you would.
Unkept Woman Manor: what's up with this bullshit that Luara trapped Luke into staying? they had two kids, and they loved each other. how is that a trap? eff off show.
NYC Hotel: Loo doesn't suck, it turns out. She was struck by the enormity of the memorial and wonders if it will ever be possible to visit that place and not feel the loss. Dante nods sadly, takes her hand and says he hopes not. She cried on the way back, and Dante saw. She was struck by all the busy activity in lower Manhattan, the people with their coffee, on their way to work and appointments. She recognized this is how it looked that Tuesday and wonders if people would have acted differently if they had known. Dante gently says no one ever knows. He says we have to appreciate each day. she adds she has to quit counting the way she can lose everything and appreciate each moment. they seal the deal with a kiss. I appreciated that TV just went on and acted like it was all okay back in 2001. It was oddly comforting to pretend like Ross and Rachel mattered. but it's nice when TV talks about it as if they have been talking about it all along. I mean, in 2001, Loo was probably still a 5 year old for the 4th year.
Scenes from: Jason says he first lost it in Hawaii. Jason reveals there were cameras, but he didn't sent Sam home when he realized. Carly and Sean left, and he and Jason wanted to spend the last couple of days together. He left the house open, and Franco got his chance. Sonny asked what Franco did.
commercialls
Scenes from: Jason says Franco left a trap, and Jason started yelling at the walls. Jason says Franco let him out and left a trail. Sonny says we all want to save the people we love, but we can't. Sonny says Jason is crucifying himself. oy. Sonny begs Jason to trust him to help. Jason stares at him through red rims.
airport: Hot Mommy hugs her kids and exclaims their dad will be happy to see them. dude, by dad kind of sucked, bu the never missed a Christmas. Missing Christmas (or any holiday, full on SUCKS,dad)
Maxie and Matt are playful, but he's distracted by Liz and Maxie asks him to choose.
Liez asks Dr. Abs for help. with finding her g spot. am I right?
Loo and Dante pull away from their kiss. He thanks her. she says she's a glass half empty kind of person. she was afraid that her love for him wouldn't last. today put it in perspective for her, and now she just wants to appreciate every day they have. She also tells him that she's proud of him and his job. They agree to love every day together. he says that they shouldn't wait to get married.
OMG these caps were delish!! I savored every bite of them!! I almost fell off my chair when you compared the dog being to PTSD what bushes is to hydrocodone!! How can you not laugh when you think of the LizBlindingCopShootingTwoDayJunkie!!!
The bit about how to get Lizzie interested in someone. Priceless!!
This show was the best fodder for your Mad skills!! Loved them!!! Thank you.
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Art is the stored honey of the human soul, gathered on wings of misery and travail. ~Theodore Dreiser, Life, Art, and America, 1917
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