GH 1/3: Mykill Bubbly
Previously on General Hospital:
Michael: Everyone calm down. If Morgan and Jocelyn liked Jax so much, they shouldn't have let Jax hurt Sonny's feelings. What else was Sonny supposed to do but tamper with an airplane, thereby risking Jax's life, possibly Jocelyn's, and, like, anyone who happened to be under the plane when it crashed?
Abby: Nope. It's empirically shitty what your dad did.
Michael: Quit telling me what to do! and go to Chicago.
Where she was unceremoniously killed in a freak Wyle E Coyote accident.
So Michael scattered her ashes in New Zealand and ran into Jax at an airport.
Michael: Mom, I could be cured of my grief over Abby if you'd just tell me Jax is alive.
Carly: That doesn't sound sane to me, son, so I'm choosing not to confide anything in you right now.
Michael (to everyone in town): My mother is a monster for letting Morgan and Joc grieve over Jax! even though that directly contradicts what I said about Sonny's actions.
Everyone: Carly is the worst.
Carly: You are all forgetting that I couldn't exactly pull a Rolf and blow the whistle on Jax b/c of how Sonny needs to murder Jax to prove a point.
Sonny: Bring me the head of Jasper Jax!
Carly (to Everyone): See? Junk like that is why I kept Jax's secret. (to Sonny): You are a tiny, little murderer.
Kate: Nobody locks Sonny in the closet!
Carly: I realize this will sound hypocritical coming from me, but shut up you shrieking harpy of a Sonny apologist.
Jason: I feel like Painting the Wind.
Michael: I feel like taking a walk on a blind curve on that country road that is 4 minutes from Everywhere In Town.
Deadman's Curve Haiku
Lovely winter night
Headlights glow like stars, tires screech
Bodies in the snow
GH: Dr. Abs lays on a gurney and chats up Liz. She whines that Lucky has 'gone Luke' on her. She keeps not recognizing that he's psychoanalizing her.
Kelly's: Maxie and Spin have a creepy conversation about how they are obsessed with ruining each other's happiness. only they don't know this is what they are talking about. Angel II finds a coffee cup with writing on it and smiles.
Metrocourt: Alexis lambasts Carly for pushing Jax into divorce and proclaims that Carly is the worst thing that ever happened to any of them. (Meanwhile, shocked party goers are leaving in droves, embarrassed by this ridiculous display)
Credits
Kelly's: Very annoying things are conversed. and Maxie is wearing Michael Jackson cuffs. Angel II has disappeared by the time they bicker themselves outside.
Metrocourt: Carly points out that Brenda left, so Sonny murdered Jax. Carly drops bothering to argue with Alexis and yells at the room that no one in the room can see this b/c they have the hots for a murderer. Just b/c she's a hypocrite for saying this, doesn't mean she's wrong. Alexis and Kate try to gang up on Carly, but that is utterly pointless, seeing as how Carly thinks they are worthless losers who are still as stupid and blind as she used to be with regard to Sonny. Carly is like a former cigarette smoker. No one hates smokers more than former nicotine addicts because no one knows better than a former smoker just how disgusting of a habit and how much better life is without it. Kate and Alexis can berate her all they want. Carly just holds up their smelly, yellow fingers, and laughs at their discolored teeth and reminds them that the second hand excuses they are exhaling is just as toxic as the poison Sonny spews. She asks Alexis what Sonny is blackmailing her with for Alexis to agree to be Sonny's lawyer again.
GH: Dr. Abs invites Liz to lie next to him on the gurney. He asks her to tell him what she sees in the tiles. blah blah, they look like stars. It doesn't take much prodding before she's crying about how the stars remind her of her little boys.
Dead Man's Curve: Jason wakes up and finds Mykill unconscious in the snow.
Jason's Penthouse: Sam has an app for her period and realizes she's late. She hears Franco's voice saying "We...are gonna be a daddy." She leaves in a hurry. Those pedestrians on the country roads aren't going to run over themselves, afterall!
commercials
Stuck Elevator: Wheels proposes to Tracy, who isn't amused. How are people getting out of All Tucked Bar if the elevator is broken?
Metrocourt Bar: Carly continues to prove her point that Alexis is being blackmailed. Alexis calls her a raging bitch and says that Jax faked his death to get away from Carly. Carly says Jax is hiding from Alexis' client. She asks what Alexis will do when Sonny tries to kill Jax, will she help Jax, or will she help Sonny kill Jax.
Kate randomly starts yelling at Carly for blaming Carly for something that Carly did. Sonny puts his arm around Connie like Kanicki, and Kate stands there like the lesser pink lady she is. Meanwhile, poor party goers and mashing the elevator button, trying to get the hell out of there. I hate Carly as much as the next person, but who the hell are all these idiots to act like it's even all that big of a deal to let people think Jax was dead. Are they all forgetting what an insufferable bore he'd become? Loo finally shuts everyone up by telling them Dante called to say there was an accident.
Dead Man's Curve: Mykill wakes up and yells at Jason for keeping Jax's secret. He cries that Jason doesn't know what it's like to mourn someone. Dante shows up and goes after Mykill, who wants to continue on foot.
Jason's Penthouse: Sam is back with a pregnancy test, but she runs out the door to meet him at GH when he says he was in an accident.
Commercials
GH: Liz laments that she failed Jakeson the night he was killed. Dr. Abs makes her laugh by pointing out a star that looks all angry and sassy, and they call it Epiphany. Matt stops by to mock this therapy session.
Kelly's: Maxie and Spinelli continue to wish unhappiness on each other in their unhealthy way. I do give Maxie points for mocking Angel II for wearing such inappropriate attire in winter. Spinelli grossly takes Maxie's disdain of his unhappiness as a good thing. He photographs Angel II.
GH: Dante takes Michael to get checked out. Sonny berates Carly, saying the accident is her fault. She spits that she won't fight with him here. He patronizes that she should just admit she was wrong for lying. She gets all jabby with her index finger and tells him she'll do that as soon as Sonny admits he tried to murder Jax, and then promises on their child's life that he won't do it again. This easily shuts Sonny up, so that's always nice. Kate makes a face like she just burped up diarrhea. that's what you get for talking out of your ass, Kate. Carly runs to Jason and cries that Michael is furious with her. He wisely says that Michael is just grieving over Abby and is displacing his anger on them. She's upset that Michael is blaming Jason too. Patrick strolls up, rather put out that he had to leave his family on New Year's Eve to treat Jason's stupid head injury again.
Patrick brings Jason into a curtained area and chides him for canceling his follow up three times. Patrick says Robin is worried about him. Jason says he's worried about Robin, too. Patrick is surprised by this.
Commercials
Curtained Area: Patrick angrily asks if Jason is trying to divert Patrick's attention. Jason realizes Robin didn't tell Patrick that she may be sick again. Sam shows up before anyone can learn anything, though. As she does. They get started on tests.
Lobby: Kate bitchily tells Carly to leave if she wants to help Michael. What the eff is her problem? Again, Kate blames Carly for Sonny spiraling out of control. Carly laughs and then grits her teeth that Sonny spirals out of control b/c that's what Sonny does. She stomps her foot a little that Kate can't figure this out. Sonny tells them that the test show Michael is fine.
All Tucked Inn: Loo waited for Dante at the bar for some reason. Dante shows up to tell her Mykill is fine. Dante also recognizes that Mykill is grieving Abby, and that he'd have no idea how to cope if he lost her. She says she'd rather take his advice and focus on all they have, because he's a labrador retriever who taught her to believe in happy endings.
Stuck Elevator: Tracy insists he can't railroad her into marriage. He says they'll have a blast.
Commercials
Moving Elevator: Tracy feels nauseous. I missed what he has on her, but she feels like she has to marry him, and it makes her sick and teary eyed.
Kelly's: Ethan finds the stupid cup of coffee with writing on it and then runs into Angel II.
GH: Matt and Liz are looking at the ceiling tile stars. He finds Orion's Belt, and she says he's doing it wrong. Matt asks if she's happy to see the year end. She says it hasn't been one of her favorites. Wait. What? The year your father in law killed your son wasn't the worst year of your life? She's trying to find things to be hopeful about, such as that most of her kids are still alive.
Jason's Penthouse: Sam and Jason lament that Mykill is lashing out b/c of the loss of Abby. Sam sees the pregnancy test she left sitting out. He asks how she's doing, and she holds him, while eyeballing the pregnancy test.
Commercials
All Tucked Inn Balcony: Loo and Dante talk about their resolutions. She wants to find her bliss and learn to cook. The talk turns to Sonny's money and how tempting it is to him. Loo points out that the melee tonight proves how much distance they need to keep from Sonny. Loo sees the whole night as proving that Sonny did intend to murder Jax and still does. Dante resolves to love her and be grateful for little things and big things. She teases him how long his resolution is. He adds that he will make each year better than the year before. She asks him to dance.
Revelers countdown
Kelly's: Ethan is surprised to see Angel II. She walks up to him and kisses him. She starts to leave, and he pulls her back and kisses her again. Then she leaves. he laughs and wishes her a happy new year.
GH: Carly tells Sonny that if Jax so much as cuts himself shaving, she'll turn him into the cops. Sonny says Mykill will never forgive her, and neither will he. oy. Mykill walks in on the phone, saying to someone he wants to know where they go from here.
Jason's Penthouse: Jason says he's done chasing Franco. "Our life is just going to be about us. Not Franco. Starting now." Sam reasonably decides that now is a bad moment to say "except for maybe I'm pregnant with Franco's baby. Other than that, we never have to think about him again."
the end
Michael: Everyone calm down. If Morgan and Jocelyn liked Jax so much, they shouldn't have let Jax hurt Sonny's feelings. What else was Sonny supposed to do but tamper with an airplane, thereby risking Jax's life, possibly Jocelyn's, and, like, anyone who happened to be under the plane when it crashed?
Abby: Nope. It's empirically shitty what your dad did.
Michael: Quit telling me what to do! and go to Chicago.
Where she was unceremoniously killed in a freak Wyle E Coyote accident.
So Michael scattered her ashes in New Zealand and ran into Jax at an airport.
Michael: Mom, I could be cured of my grief over Abby if you'd just tell me Jax is alive.
Carly: That doesn't sound sane to me, son, so I'm choosing not to confide anything in you right now.
Michael (to everyone in town): My mother is a monster for letting Morgan and Joc grieve over Jax! even though that directly contradicts what I said about Sonny's actions.
Everyone: Carly is the worst.
Carly: You are all forgetting that I couldn't exactly pull a Rolf and blow the whistle on Jax b/c of how Sonny needs to murder Jax to prove a point.
Sonny: Bring me the head of Jasper Jax!
Carly (to Everyone): See? Junk like that is why I kept Jax's secret. (to Sonny): You are a tiny, little murderer.
Kate: Nobody locks Sonny in the closet!
Carly: I realize this will sound hypocritical coming from me, but shut up you shrieking harpy of a Sonny apologist.
Jason: I feel like Painting the Wind.
Michael: I feel like taking a walk on a blind curve on that country road that is 4 minutes from Everywhere In Town.
Deadman's Curve Haiku
Lovely winter night
Headlights glow like stars, tires screech
Bodies in the snow
GH: Dr. Abs lays on a gurney and chats up Liz. She whines that Lucky has 'gone Luke' on her. She keeps not recognizing that he's psychoanalizing her.
Kelly's: Maxie and Spin have a creepy conversation about how they are obsessed with ruining each other's happiness. only they don't know this is what they are talking about. Angel II finds a coffee cup with writing on it and smiles.
Metrocourt: Alexis lambasts Carly for pushing Jax into divorce and proclaims that Carly is the worst thing that ever happened to any of them. (Meanwhile, shocked party goers are leaving in droves, embarrassed by this ridiculous display)
Credits
Kelly's: Very annoying things are conversed. and Maxie is wearing Michael Jackson cuffs. Angel II has disappeared by the time they bicker themselves outside.
Metrocourt: Carly points out that Brenda left, so Sonny murdered Jax. Carly drops bothering to argue with Alexis and yells at the room that no one in the room can see this b/c they have the hots for a murderer. Just b/c she's a hypocrite for saying this, doesn't mean she's wrong. Alexis and Kate try to gang up on Carly, but that is utterly pointless, seeing as how Carly thinks they are worthless losers who are still as stupid and blind as she used to be with regard to Sonny. Carly is like a former cigarette smoker. No one hates smokers more than former nicotine addicts because no one knows better than a former smoker just how disgusting of a habit and how much better life is without it. Kate and Alexis can berate her all they want. Carly just holds up their smelly, yellow fingers, and laughs at their discolored teeth and reminds them that the second hand excuses they are exhaling is just as toxic as the poison Sonny spews. She asks Alexis what Sonny is blackmailing her with for Alexis to agree to be Sonny's lawyer again.
GH: Dr. Abs invites Liz to lie next to him on the gurney. He asks her to tell him what she sees in the tiles. blah blah, they look like stars. It doesn't take much prodding before she's crying about how the stars remind her of her little boys.
Dead Man's Curve: Jason wakes up and finds Mykill unconscious in the snow.
Jason's Penthouse: Sam has an app for her period and realizes she's late. She hears Franco's voice saying "We...are gonna be a daddy." She leaves in a hurry. Those pedestrians on the country roads aren't going to run over themselves, afterall!
commercials
Stuck Elevator: Wheels proposes to Tracy, who isn't amused. How are people getting out of All Tucked Bar if the elevator is broken?
Metrocourt Bar: Carly continues to prove her point that Alexis is being blackmailed. Alexis calls her a raging bitch and says that Jax faked his death to get away from Carly. Carly says Jax is hiding from Alexis' client. She asks what Alexis will do when Sonny tries to kill Jax, will she help Jax, or will she help Sonny kill Jax.
Kate randomly starts yelling at Carly for blaming Carly for something that Carly did. Sonny puts his arm around Connie like Kanicki, and Kate stands there like the lesser pink lady she is. Meanwhile, poor party goers and mashing the elevator button, trying to get the hell out of there. I hate Carly as much as the next person, but who the hell are all these idiots to act like it's even all that big of a deal to let people think Jax was dead. Are they all forgetting what an insufferable bore he'd become? Loo finally shuts everyone up by telling them Dante called to say there was an accident.
Dead Man's Curve: Mykill wakes up and yells at Jason for keeping Jax's secret. He cries that Jason doesn't know what it's like to mourn someone. Dante shows up and goes after Mykill, who wants to continue on foot.
Jason's Penthouse: Sam is back with a pregnancy test, but she runs out the door to meet him at GH when he says he was in an accident.
Commercials
GH: Liz laments that she failed Jakeson the night he was killed. Dr. Abs makes her laugh by pointing out a star that looks all angry and sassy, and they call it Epiphany. Matt stops by to mock this therapy session.
Kelly's: Maxie and Spinelli continue to wish unhappiness on each other in their unhealthy way. I do give Maxie points for mocking Angel II for wearing such inappropriate attire in winter. Spinelli grossly takes Maxie's disdain of his unhappiness as a good thing. He photographs Angel II.
GH: Dante takes Michael to get checked out. Sonny berates Carly, saying the accident is her fault. She spits that she won't fight with him here. He patronizes that she should just admit she was wrong for lying. She gets all jabby with her index finger and tells him she'll do that as soon as Sonny admits he tried to murder Jax, and then promises on their child's life that he won't do it again. This easily shuts Sonny up, so that's always nice. Kate makes a face like she just burped up diarrhea. that's what you get for talking out of your ass, Kate. Carly runs to Jason and cries that Michael is furious with her. He wisely says that Michael is just grieving over Abby and is displacing his anger on them. She's upset that Michael is blaming Jason too. Patrick strolls up, rather put out that he had to leave his family on New Year's Eve to treat Jason's stupid head injury again.
Patrick brings Jason into a curtained area and chides him for canceling his follow up three times. Patrick says Robin is worried about him. Jason says he's worried about Robin, too. Patrick is surprised by this.
Commercials
Curtained Area: Patrick angrily asks if Jason is trying to divert Patrick's attention. Jason realizes Robin didn't tell Patrick that she may be sick again. Sam shows up before anyone can learn anything, though. As she does. They get started on tests.
Lobby: Kate bitchily tells Carly to leave if she wants to help Michael. What the eff is her problem? Again, Kate blames Carly for Sonny spiraling out of control. Carly laughs and then grits her teeth that Sonny spirals out of control b/c that's what Sonny does. She stomps her foot a little that Kate can't figure this out. Sonny tells them that the test show Michael is fine.
All Tucked Inn: Loo waited for Dante at the bar for some reason. Dante shows up to tell her Mykill is fine. Dante also recognizes that Mykill is grieving Abby, and that he'd have no idea how to cope if he lost her. She says she'd rather take his advice and focus on all they have, because he's a labrador retriever who taught her to believe in happy endings.
Stuck Elevator: Tracy insists he can't railroad her into marriage. He says they'll have a blast.
Commercials
Moving Elevator: Tracy feels nauseous. I missed what he has on her, but she feels like she has to marry him, and it makes her sick and teary eyed.
Kelly's: Ethan finds the stupid cup of coffee with writing on it and then runs into Angel II.
GH: Matt and Liz are looking at the ceiling tile stars. He finds Orion's Belt, and she says he's doing it wrong. Matt asks if she's happy to see the year end. She says it hasn't been one of her favorites. Wait. What? The year your father in law killed your son wasn't the worst year of your life? She's trying to find things to be hopeful about, such as that most of her kids are still alive.
Jason's Penthouse: Sam and Jason lament that Mykill is lashing out b/c of the loss of Abby. Sam sees the pregnancy test she left sitting out. He asks how she's doing, and she holds him, while eyeballing the pregnancy test.
Commercials
All Tucked Inn Balcony: Loo and Dante talk about their resolutions. She wants to find her bliss and learn to cook. The talk turns to Sonny's money and how tempting it is to him. Loo points out that the melee tonight proves how much distance they need to keep from Sonny. Loo sees the whole night as proving that Sonny did intend to murder Jax and still does. Dante resolves to love her and be grateful for little things and big things. She teases him how long his resolution is. He adds that he will make each year better than the year before. She asks him to dance.
Revelers countdown
Kelly's: Ethan is surprised to see Angel II. She walks up to him and kisses him. She starts to leave, and he pulls her back and kisses her again. Then she leaves. he laughs and wishes her a happy new year.
GH: Carly tells Sonny that if Jax so much as cuts himself shaving, she'll turn him into the cops. Sonny says Mykill will never forgive her, and neither will he. oy. Mykill walks in on the phone, saying to someone he wants to know where they go from here.
Jason's Penthouse: Jason says he's done chasing Franco. "Our life is just going to be about us. Not Franco. Starting now." Sam reasonably decides that now is a bad moment to say "except for maybe I'm pregnant with Franco's baby. Other than that, we never have to think about him again."
the end
LMAO @ the Haiku
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Why is this woman in white traipsing around in a lovely nightgown for a month in the middle of winter...it's upstate new York, shouldn't she at least have on a tank top?
Great caps Mad!! Thanks.
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(to Sonny): You are a tiny, little murderer.
ROLFMAO!!! Love that!
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It was so stupid how everyone went off on Carly about Jax. He obviously wanted everyone to think he was dead. Did Alexis totally forget how crazy Sonny was acting?
Loved the haiku!
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Arm around Connie like Kinicki...lesser Pink Lady...LOL & *applause*
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