OLTL 1/5: Preview of coming attractions
I haven't watched this show in months.
and it? is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S
There's been a jail break at Statesville, so Cole, Colin/Troy and Lindsey (!) are free.
I can't remember if this guy is Colin or Troy. He was the sane twin to an evil twin and then became an evil twin. I think. It's all very vague. All I know is the least realistic thing on this show has always been the way men endlessly fall in love with boring, tedious, hypocritical Nora.
They've cast a dude as Cole who is a weird blend of Pacey and Dogboy. Starr hides Cole, adn they make out in the cabana, as you do. Super adorable Sam, who continues to freak me out a little with his dead on Trevor St. John impression tells the Brother Ford that Starr is dating where to find Starr. (I can't keep my Ford brothers straight)
hahahaha crazy ass Hannah is free too! I don't remember what went down with her exactly, but I know she's trouble.
and Mitch is back. and he is dressed like a monk and has kidnapped Natalie and tied her to a pew in an old pew. So Jessica agrees to be traded for Natalie. Geeze, I forget how dark this show gets. Mitch is this dude who believes a deity tells him to knock up his daughter. Jeffrey Dahmer would watch this show and go, "that dude is disturbing" Mitch has now realized that his deity wants him to impregnate Natalie instead of Jessica. In this regard, Mitch and Brody aren't all that different. (Also, Mitch actually calls his deity the Lord, but it feels really unnerving to write that or refer to God, so forgive me for saying "deity") Then Mitch sits next to Natalie and breathes on her neck and puts her earring in his mouth and tugs on it with his teeth. yes, this happened, and it's as gross as you think. I don't care for Natalie, but I wouldn't wish this on Sonny.
Hannah and Sam St John Jr. chat. Sam knows that Hannah hurt Starr, and he tries to warn her, but Hannah stops him. Sam is totes to gonna kill Hannah, y'all.
Cabana: good job on recasting Cole b/c this guy is just as redonk and hateable as the last one. James (that's his name it turns out) is so handsome and nice and Cole is so fugly and dreadful. Why is Starr torn? James and Starr talk about how she only sort of lied to him. cole gets in James' face, because he's annoying like that. Starr remains inexplicably torn.
Ford rushes to Llanfair to check on Jessica. Niki and Clint break the news that Mitch has Natalie.
Terrifying church: Did Natalie and Mitch get married? I don't remember this. He puts his hands all over her until she can't help but to kick with and fight with whatever free limbs she has. He grossly says he's always loved the fight in her. He gently wraps more rope around her neck.
Colin, meanwhile, is going to inject Nora with the same drug that made her forget her life. Lindsey (!) and Bo figure out where Colintroy has Nora and go to rescue. Bo figures out Colintroy is going to wipe out Nora's memory. Lindsey's face muses that this would be awesome b/c then she could have Bo. heh. Lindsey, you are one sick cookie. I miss you!
Nora tries to talk Troy (apparently it's Troy). She says what if she forgets even Troy. um, Nora, you can't use logic on a psycho killer. you, of all people, should know this by now.
Bo has a plan to save Nora. As he is so wont to do. Alas, his plan involves needing Lindsey's help. Damn, Bo and Nora can't learn a damn lesson to literally save their lives. idiots.
Cole is smugly amused that Starr is going to have to hide him from everyone, just like she once hid James. Cole says he has to leave.
Ford is upset that McBain went alone to trade Jess for Nat. This idea sounds really stupid without McBain in the room to sell it. Ford rushes off
Mitch has forced Nat down to the ground. Look, I'm no Nat fan, but that chick is scrappy. You can't leave her with four free limbs and not get some serious ball damage. unrealistic!
Sam bites Hannah's finger.
Troy lays a bound Nora down and begins to inject her. Lindsey rushes in just in time.
Hannah runs after Sam and nabs him. A man's voice says "put him down" It's Todd!
Mitch grabs Nat. Oh, her hands are bound. Okay, so it's a fair fight. McBain walks in with his gun drawn.
Viki and Clint lament that they couldn't warn McBain that Ford is going to fuck everything up. Viki's eyes are drawn to the TV which was on mute.
Oh, shit, Allison Perkins escaped too! and presto! She's in the Llanfair living room saying she hates her mugshot.
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
this show should get canceled every week!
Todd knows that Hannah messed with Starr last year. He threatens her if she doesn't give him Sam. Hannah pulls a gun. Todd calmly asks Sam if he's okay. Sam sweetly but sadly says he is. Hannah says Todd has to give her Starr and Cole, or she'll blow holes in Sam until there' s nothing left but the glasses. Bye, Hannah. Your death is gonna hurt super hard.
Cole tells Starr he's going to leave, that his parents will help him. Starr weeps and offers money and clothes. He just wants to say goodbye to his daughter and her. James watches this with disgust.
Todd totally loves Sam because Todd is the Best. He details some of Sam's greatest hits of adorability (including loving the Phillies- apparently Llanview is a Pirates town, and Sam is the one hold out). Hannah agrees she doesn't want to hurt Sam, but she continues to insist she will. To make sure Todd doesn't get into her brain, she starts charging him with the gun, and he dutifully backs up. She asks again where Starr is. Starr pipes up that she's right here. Starr, James and Cole have entered, and Starr looks ready to cut a bitch.
Nora is flummoxed that Lindsey (!) is here. Lindsey does her job of lying that Troy doesn't need to drug Nora b/c Bo is dead. (Bo, of course, is not dead. He's being Grandpa Batman.)
Llanfair: Allison blathers about how Oprah inspired her. she's had a revelation b/c she put her faith in someone else. Somehow Allison set up the jailbreak. Good news, Allison hates Mitch now, so somehow the keystone to the culmination of 4 decades worth of story lines rests on one of the crazier the town has ever seen.
Alison gives a laughable litany of all the things she's been asked to do. "Need a baby switched, call Alison" "Want someone killed,, I'm sure Alison's not busy" heh. she's kind of a bad actress, but I appreciate the meta of it all. Also, she refers to Natalie and Jessica as Slutty and Kookoo. love! She mocks the odds and how unreasonable it is that Vicki has twins with different dads. "Twin sisters by different misters" She mocks that it defies reason and is practically impossible.
Creepy Church: McBain still has his gun pointed at Mitch. jessica manages to hotly turn herself over to her rapist father. Good to see my girl crush on Bree Williams is still intact. Jessica wears a red velvet coat and reveals a shapely leg to take a step up closer to Mitch. She is out of breath, but she bravely exhales that she's here.
Lllanfair: Cole is very brave and walks right up to the gun Hannah is holding and tells him he felt cheated by not being able to be with her. Hannah worries that Cole came here for Starr, but Cole insists he just wanted to see his daughter. He tells her everything she wants to hear, and everyone in the room tries to put on their best "this is surprising" faces instead of their "let's hope Hannah and Cole both die" faces.
For some reason Bo doesn't just shoot Troy. What is with that? An 18 year on a trailer park is braver than Bo. Lindsey convinces Troy not to give the injection to Nora, and Bo lamely taps Colin on his head, and then they fight. Shh, who cares, go back to Alison!
Lindsey unties Nora while Bo unrealistically kicks Troy's ass. Bo explains that Lindsey lied about killing him to get the drop on Troy. Troy wakes up and sees the gun in Lindsey's hands.
Clint and Viki ask if Allison has a secret about Jess and Nat. Allison relishes this "is that how it sounded?"
Mitch releases Nat, who understandably runs towards McBain. Eff Jessica. Mitch takes Jess's hands, and Tess spits in his face.
Viki says that Alison is here to give them something. Alison holds up the gun and grins "an ending!"
Mitch points the gun at Jessica's chest and says "whoever offends the father, shall be put to death." Jess, Tess and Bess look terrified.
Nora says she should thank Lindsey. Lindsey asks for a pardon. Troy stands up.
hannah points the gun at Starr and Cole says they should just go. Hannah releases Sam. Then she catches her snap and points the gun back at Starr and says she'll never let Cole go. Sam totally kicks Hannah in the girl nuts, and Todd snatches him up and runs him out of the room.
Nat cries out that Mitch can't shoot Jess, and Ford rushes in and wrestles Mitch to the ground.
Allison says goodbye to Clint and viki and says it's been real.
We see the melee ensue in each room, and then we cut to an exterior shot while a shingle shot rings out. So we don't know who, if anyone got shot. over and over, everyone fights for the gun in their particular room, cut to exterior shot, shot rings out.
the really grim moment was a shot of Allison, framed by Viki and Clint. Viki and Clint clasp hands. We cut to a shot of their faces, and they profess their love for each other. Cut to the exterior, and a shot rings out.
guess I'll have to watch tomorrow.
how stupid is GH about to seem to me? so stupid.
and it? is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S
There's been a jail break at Statesville, so Cole, Colin/Troy and Lindsey (!) are free.
I can't remember if this guy is Colin or Troy. He was the sane twin to an evil twin and then became an evil twin. I think. It's all very vague. All I know is the least realistic thing on this show has always been the way men endlessly fall in love with boring, tedious, hypocritical Nora.
They've cast a dude as Cole who is a weird blend of Pacey and Dogboy. Starr hides Cole, adn they make out in the cabana, as you do. Super adorable Sam, who continues to freak me out a little with his dead on Trevor St. John impression tells the Brother Ford that Starr is dating where to find Starr. (I can't keep my Ford brothers straight)
hahahaha crazy ass Hannah is free too! I don't remember what went down with her exactly, but I know she's trouble.
and Mitch is back. and he is dressed like a monk and has kidnapped Natalie and tied her to a pew in an old pew. So Jessica agrees to be traded for Natalie. Geeze, I forget how dark this show gets. Mitch is this dude who believes a deity tells him to knock up his daughter. Jeffrey Dahmer would watch this show and go, "that dude is disturbing" Mitch has now realized that his deity wants him to impregnate Natalie instead of Jessica. In this regard, Mitch and Brody aren't all that different. (Also, Mitch actually calls his deity the Lord, but it feels really unnerving to write that or refer to God, so forgive me for saying "deity") Then Mitch sits next to Natalie and breathes on her neck and puts her earring in his mouth and tugs on it with his teeth. yes, this happened, and it's as gross as you think. I don't care for Natalie, but I wouldn't wish this on Sonny.
Hannah and Sam St John Jr. chat. Sam knows that Hannah hurt Starr, and he tries to warn her, but Hannah stops him. Sam is totes to gonna kill Hannah, y'all.
Cabana: good job on recasting Cole b/c this guy is just as redonk and hateable as the last one. James (that's his name it turns out) is so handsome and nice and Cole is so fugly and dreadful. Why is Starr torn? James and Starr talk about how she only sort of lied to him. cole gets in James' face, because he's annoying like that. Starr remains inexplicably torn.
Ford rushes to Llanfair to check on Jessica. Niki and Clint break the news that Mitch has Natalie.
Terrifying church: Did Natalie and Mitch get married? I don't remember this. He puts his hands all over her until she can't help but to kick with and fight with whatever free limbs she has. He grossly says he's always loved the fight in her. He gently wraps more rope around her neck.
Colin, meanwhile, is going to inject Nora with the same drug that made her forget her life. Lindsey (!) and Bo figure out where Colintroy has Nora and go to rescue. Bo figures out Colintroy is going to wipe out Nora's memory. Lindsey's face muses that this would be awesome b/c then she could have Bo. heh. Lindsey, you are one sick cookie. I miss you!
Nora tries to talk Troy (apparently it's Troy). She says what if she forgets even Troy. um, Nora, you can't use logic on a psycho killer. you, of all people, should know this by now.
Bo has a plan to save Nora. As he is so wont to do. Alas, his plan involves needing Lindsey's help. Damn, Bo and Nora can't learn a damn lesson to literally save their lives. idiots.
Cole is smugly amused that Starr is going to have to hide him from everyone, just like she once hid James. Cole says he has to leave.
Ford is upset that McBain went alone to trade Jess for Nat. This idea sounds really stupid without McBain in the room to sell it. Ford rushes off
Mitch has forced Nat down to the ground. Look, I'm no Nat fan, but that chick is scrappy. You can't leave her with four free limbs and not get some serious ball damage. unrealistic!
Sam bites Hannah's finger.
Troy lays a bound Nora down and begins to inject her. Lindsey rushes in just in time.
Hannah runs after Sam and nabs him. A man's voice says "put him down" It's Todd!
Mitch grabs Nat. Oh, her hands are bound. Okay, so it's a fair fight. McBain walks in with his gun drawn.
Viki and Clint lament that they couldn't warn McBain that Ford is going to fuck everything up. Viki's eyes are drawn to the TV which was on mute.
Oh, shit, Allison Perkins escaped too! and presto! She's in the Llanfair living room saying she hates her mugshot.
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
this show should get canceled every week!
Todd knows that Hannah messed with Starr last year. He threatens her if she doesn't give him Sam. Hannah pulls a gun. Todd calmly asks Sam if he's okay. Sam sweetly but sadly says he is. Hannah says Todd has to give her Starr and Cole, or she'll blow holes in Sam until there' s nothing left but the glasses. Bye, Hannah. Your death is gonna hurt super hard.
Cole tells Starr he's going to leave, that his parents will help him. Starr weeps and offers money and clothes. He just wants to say goodbye to his daughter and her. James watches this with disgust.
Todd totally loves Sam because Todd is the Best. He details some of Sam's greatest hits of adorability (including loving the Phillies- apparently Llanview is a Pirates town, and Sam is the one hold out). Hannah agrees she doesn't want to hurt Sam, but she continues to insist she will. To make sure Todd doesn't get into her brain, she starts charging him with the gun, and he dutifully backs up. She asks again where Starr is. Starr pipes up that she's right here. Starr, James and Cole have entered, and Starr looks ready to cut a bitch.
Nora is flummoxed that Lindsey (!) is here. Lindsey does her job of lying that Troy doesn't need to drug Nora b/c Bo is dead. (Bo, of course, is not dead. He's being Grandpa Batman.)
Llanfair: Allison blathers about how Oprah inspired her. she's had a revelation b/c she put her faith in someone else. Somehow Allison set up the jailbreak. Good news, Allison hates Mitch now, so somehow the keystone to the culmination of 4 decades worth of story lines rests on one of the crazier the town has ever seen.
Alison gives a laughable litany of all the things she's been asked to do. "Need a baby switched, call Alison" "Want someone killed,, I'm sure Alison's not busy" heh. she's kind of a bad actress, but I appreciate the meta of it all. Also, she refers to Natalie and Jessica as Slutty and Kookoo. love! She mocks the odds and how unreasonable it is that Vicki has twins with different dads. "Twin sisters by different misters" She mocks that it defies reason and is practically impossible.
Creepy Church: McBain still has his gun pointed at Mitch. jessica manages to hotly turn herself over to her rapist father. Good to see my girl crush on Bree Williams is still intact. Jessica wears a red velvet coat and reveals a shapely leg to take a step up closer to Mitch. She is out of breath, but she bravely exhales that she's here.
Lllanfair: Cole is very brave and walks right up to the gun Hannah is holding and tells him he felt cheated by not being able to be with her. Hannah worries that Cole came here for Starr, but Cole insists he just wanted to see his daughter. He tells her everything she wants to hear, and everyone in the room tries to put on their best "this is surprising" faces instead of their "let's hope Hannah and Cole both die" faces.
For some reason Bo doesn't just shoot Troy. What is with that? An 18 year on a trailer park is braver than Bo. Lindsey convinces Troy not to give the injection to Nora, and Bo lamely taps Colin on his head, and then they fight. Shh, who cares, go back to Alison!
Lindsey unties Nora while Bo unrealistically kicks Troy's ass. Bo explains that Lindsey lied about killing him to get the drop on Troy. Troy wakes up and sees the gun in Lindsey's hands.
Clint and Viki ask if Allison has a secret about Jess and Nat. Allison relishes this "is that how it sounded?"
Mitch releases Nat, who understandably runs towards McBain. Eff Jessica. Mitch takes Jess's hands, and Tess spits in his face.
Viki says that Alison is here to give them something. Alison holds up the gun and grins "an ending!"
Mitch points the gun at Jessica's chest and says "whoever offends the father, shall be put to death." Jess, Tess and Bess look terrified.
Nora says she should thank Lindsey. Lindsey asks for a pardon. Troy stands up.
hannah points the gun at Starr and Cole says they should just go. Hannah releases Sam. Then she catches her snap and points the gun back at Starr and says she'll never let Cole go. Sam totally kicks Hannah in the girl nuts, and Todd snatches him up and runs him out of the room.
Nat cries out that Mitch can't shoot Jess, and Ford rushes in and wrestles Mitch to the ground.
Allison says goodbye to Clint and viki and says it's been real.
We see the melee ensue in each room, and then we cut to an exterior shot while a shingle shot rings out. So we don't know who, if anyone got shot. over and over, everyone fights for the gun in their particular room, cut to exterior shot, shot rings out.
the really grim moment was a shot of Allison, framed by Viki and Clint. Viki and Clint clasp hands. We cut to a shot of their faces, and they profess their love for each other. Cut to the exterior, and a shot rings out.
guess I'll have to watch tomorrow.
how stupid is GH about to seem to me? so stupid.
Terrifying church: Did Natalie and Mitch get married? I don't remember this
First off LOVE that your doing caps of OLTL. Many moons ago Todd was involved w/Mitch and this was when Victor Lord was found out to be really alive and he needed Nat's heart for a transplant so mitch married her and w/Todd's help tied her to a gurney and they were ready to splice her open to give Victor Sr. her heart. I forget who rescued her.
Reply to this
Stopped watching about this show when plucky Jen Rappaport was killed off and stopped following it completely when icky Natalie took center Buchanan/Lord stage, but I too had to tune in this week. Gotta say the editing was right on today. Over the freaking top, but entertaining as hell.
Reply to this