GH 1/12: Cannibal Danger
GH: Olivia counts to ten and walks away from watching Stephen and Memphis kiss.
Conference room: Stephen backs away and says this can't happen again.
Bullpen: Detective Mulva and Dante bicker about the Stripper Strangler. Lou arrested someone, but Mulva thinks they didn't have enough evidence to keep him, so they let him go.
Jason and Sonny bicker over the phone, particularly about Johnny's moves on The Biz and Mykill. Sonny tells Jason that he needs to get over this Franco Thing. Jason says it's not that easy. Sonny warns that The Danger is going to eat him alive.
Commercials
The other night, I was fast forwarding through this show, and Jason was on screen and this is what Mr. Mad said. "I like that guy because he looks like such a douche bag most of the time, but I see that the intention is that he looks like a badass. On the one hand, I see that he's a handsome muscular guy who could be really kind of cool, but then, he just fails and goes for a douchebag look. It's too bad."
Conference Room: Memphis and Stephen have a vague conversation about barbecue, or country music, or whatever happened in Tennessee. Memphis sees things differently.
Scenes from an Italian Restaurant: Oliva shows up. I will say I find it comical that she's on like, seventy seven thousand, three hundred and ninety eight. I don't care what happens to her and Stephen, but I do know the feeling of needing to count your steps as you walk in a rage fugue away from a crappy boyfriend. I don't get why she goes to Sonny, but whatever, I don't get why she does anything anymore. He's going to rename the restauraunt "Fortunato's" after (do not read the next sentence if you are sensitive to profanity. I have no ability to control myself) the stupid fucking place in stupid fucking Brooklyn that he used to stupid fucking hang out with stupid fucking Connie. At least he's not naming it "Coney Fucking Island" Shut up about Brooklyn, Show.
Jason's Penthouse: Sam cries to Jason that he can't chase after Franco to make her be unraped. She just wants to move forward. Alexis calls to say her daughter is going to unmother her. Sam wants to stay and talk to Jason, but he insists he's fine and she should go to her mother.
Commercials
Wyndermere: What is with this show and it's obsession with casting blondes with weird mouths who talk funny? It's a shame that this actress is so annoying because I find her dialogue to be vaguely clever and almost interesting. but her delivery is beyond aggravating. Los Angeles is teeming with pretty blondes who want to be actresses. How does this show muck it up so badly? Whatever, Helena listens from the tunnels while Ethan and Cassandra poorly deliver their lines about how she's so freaking mysterious and interesting, even though the way she speaks makes me think that she's really quite dull. She's not even pretty enough to be this boring to listen to, you know? Charlize Theron is gorgeous enough to be a boring person. But the nice thing about Ms. Theron, is that she is also quite charming. This lady just sucks the life out of the room.
Kelly's: Milly doesn't want to go to Madison, where her freak sister and cousin went and ruined everything for her. Also, Milly wants to unfriend Alexis on Myface. (hate) Sam shows up while Milly buries her face in her hands. Alexis says Milly can have anything she wants. Milly asks for freedom, and Alexis withdraws her offer. Sam is indignant that Alexis is a creepy mom who who polices her Facebook page (b/c let's be honest, it ain't a Myspace page). Alexis says she won't do that anymore. Then she loses her mind and says this awesomely terrible crazy thing: Fine, you win. I'll stop. I won't be concerned. I won't care. I won't act like a mother. I won't do anything. Because you know what my mother was doing when I was your age? Nothing. Cuz she was dead." Alexis rushes from the table. Sam shakes her head and rolls her eyes, signalling that Milly should in no way take this to heart or internalize their mother's wackiness.
Bullpen: Mykill is pissed that the suspect was let go. Mulva defends her choices because the evidence wasn't strong enough. She passionately says that she wants to get the right guy. Mykill finds this preposterous and tries to grab the file on the suspect, so he can go pillowkill him too, I guess. Dante gets Mykill to leave, and Mulva takes a load off, exhausted from dealing with such hateful freaks. meh, I can't help it. I'm on Team Anyone Who Isn't on Team Corinthos.
commercials
Conference room: Stephen talks about the "what we did" in TN. So, I haven't read spoilers, but obviously these two freaks murdered someone? or, rather, murder implies intent, so maybe they manslaughtered someone? or he did, and she helped cover it up? it could be vaguely interesting to watch two characters I care about cover up a murder. I know some of my favorite scenes on this show were Luke and Alexis dealing with trying to killing Helena, but killing Katherine instead. anyway, I could propose an interesting version of this story, but it would be a giant waste of time b/c all we are going to get is this vapid version.
Kelly's: alexis apologizes for her dead mother comment. Apparently she's going through menopause b/c she asks the waitress if something is wrong with the heat. yeesh. Alexis and menopause and Cassadine sounds terrifying. Sam makes her own jab that she never had a mother either (which? she did, just a very crappy one), and that she's happy that they have Alexis now. Milly glares at her mother and since her own options are Crazy Ass Alexis or Nothing, she begrudgingly chooses Living Mother, but spitefully. heh. Then Milly pours over the Cassadine Yearbook, and how dark and miserable everyone looks. I imagine it being a bit Slytherin-y, that photo album. Milly, with sarcastic brightness, says she's heard that such traits are inherited. Sam says Milly doesn't have to worry. (with Alexis and Ric as parents? I'd say Milly has a lot to be worried about. Unless she only inherited her mother's smarts and her father's looks. Then she has nothing to worry about b/c she'll be in charge of everything in no time.) Milly wonders if her kids will inherit The Crazy. This gets Sam's attention, and she ponders if she has a peanut sized serial killer in her uterus-shoulder.
Jason's Penthouse: Spin knows Franco's whereabouts. Yale, right?
Commercials
Conference room: Memphis doesn't think Stephen can live with His Aggravatingly Never Told Secret. Stephen says he took a life, and Memphis couldn't take it. he says she's free and should let it be over. Memphis says she's chained to that night, the look on his face. She's chained to him. She wants to know what they do about it. Murder/suicide pact?
Scenes from an Italian Restaurant: Johnny shows up to laugh about hating on Olivia and Sonny again. Olivia asks Sonny and John not to kill each other and leaves. Sonny asks Johnny to stay away from Mykill. John: "Like you stayed away from Claudia?" I guess I love Johnny b/c the actor amuses me with his choices, and because Johnny is hanging around eff with Sonny. I don't think he wants to kill Sonny. Or hurt Michael. but he does want Sonny to suffer and be on edge and not enjoy his life. which is why he fake dated Kristina, and while he'll fake put Michael in the mob.
Wyndermere: Ethan and Cassandra continue to baffle me. Again, I like her dialogue, but she just sounds like she's a dummy. Also, she suggests that for all she knows, Laura is her mother. oh, for pete's sake. how stupid would that be? how big can stupid get? Is it possible for stupid to get so big that everything else on the planet is forced to become stupid? or can stupid only get as stupid as a goldfish? it can get really big, but no bigger than the container it's in?
Commercials
Kelly's: Sam worries that her baby is going to get a bunch of college degrees, kill everyone she knows one day, and smoke a lot of weed while Alexis and Milly talk about the Cassadine Yearbook. Out of the seeming blue, Milly and Alexis sing song "by the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes." Sam stirs from her reveries and sing songs "cree-py" Alexis goes through the yearbook and singsongs "Shake-speare." As if Shakespeare wasn't creepy? I don't get Alexis' point. Milly thinks something wicked came the night of the storm. Sam is alarmed by this. Milly talks about baby possession, or something, which makes Alexis ask Sam if something is wrong. Alexis thanks her for coming and then asks her to go home and be with Jason. Sam hugs her sister and points out that this is one of the awesome things mom's do. Milly is baffled that some of the photos are missing. Alexis says that's what life is like in a soap. People exist, and then they don't, and people appear out of nothing.
Wyndermere: Cassandra rambles on boringly about something. it's very bleak. She hears ghosts at night. Then she asks to know what it's like to know who you are. oy. Ethan explains that he didn't exist until a few years ago, and now he has a family. or something like that.
Scenes from an Italian Restaurant: John says Sonny is talking about Mykill like he orders PB&J from the kid's menu. John points out that Mykill Sonny has an obligation to quit making ultimatums and to empathize with his son. Sonny insults Johnny, but Johnny offers decent advice that Sonny should consider what Michael is going through and try to be there for him. Johnny points out that Abby would be alive if Michael didn't interfere and try to play God. he asks if that sounds familiar to Sonny. Sonny is allergic to wisdom or self realization, so Michael shows up at this moment. Johnny tells Michael that Sonny doesn't think Michael can make his own decisions, but he, Johnny, believes otherwise. john leaves. Sonny tells Michael not to listen to Johnny. Michael has other plans.
Franco paints somewhere and hears a door open. He knows it's Jason before either he or we see Jason. Jason aims a gun at Franco.
Commercials
Wyndermere: Cassandra and Ethan say boring things. She can't be hypnotized "because she can't be put under someone else's spell" now see, that's a vaguely clever thing to say, but it only works if the actress is compelling to watch. She's worried that finding out who she is will reveal something horrible for herself and everyone around her. I concede this would suck, but I don't see why we need a zither to play while she says it. Ethan and Cassandra hug.
Conference room: I have no idea what anyone says b/c Memphis speaks so bizarrely. Olivia walks in and sticks her tongue down Steve's throat. Steve is paged and leaves. Memphis laughs that this was quite an entrance. Olivia reveals she saw the kiss earlier. Olivia says she knows Memphis works with kids, so she'll keep it simple: "back off"
Bullpen: Mulva and Dante discuss the evidence. She sees a patterns in the attacks. She's passionate and worries they will lose the strangler. Dante bizarrely patronizes that she's very invested in this. Mulva says she's a woman, and the strangler is attacking women. Dante wants to talk about her sister (who was killed, I think). She wants to talk about his father instead. I'm not sure what they are really fighting about, but I enjoy watching them do stuff.
Scenes from an Italian Restaurant: Sonny is confronted by The Rage and Idiocy that lives inside his adopted son.
Jason's Penthouse: Sam comes home to find a note from Jason saying "It couldn't wait"
Franco talks all crazy to Jason, while Jason yells and threatens. Jason asks why Franco let him find him. Franco says this is a good question and wonders what Jason would do for the answer.
Commercials
This gets Sam's attention, and she ponders if she has a peanut sized serial killer in her uterus-shoulder.
Reply to this
O.K. so I read the Sonny was going to name his restaurant "Connie Fucking Island" which I think is very appropriate!!
Great Caps Mad! and P.S. Menopause only makes you slightly insane.
Reply to this
but what if the menopausee is already prone to insanity like Alexis? also, my mom,who is wonderful and glorious was almost felled by menopause. she did get it in her mid 40's, though, so I believe if you couple menopause with a young, vibrant woman...look out! and head for zee hillz
Reply to this
Your observation that Los Angeles is teeming with pretty blondes made me envision Cassie Cassadine being played by that Heidi girl from The Hills. How much more engaging and campy and wacky such a thing would be to see.
I do believe Cassie is the spitting image of Loo and that they are long lost sisters. When Laura had time to beget her with Stefan (around the same time that Loo was sprouted) remains to be seen
Reply to this