Liez told Poor Patrick that Robin left him because she wanted him to have to suffer alone because she's jellus that he's not sick too.  I know that's not the reason she gave, but I can't imagine what else would make a spouse act like this.  Liez tells him that they have to go along with Robin's selfishness, or she'll quit answering her phone.  So poor Patrick has to call her and stifle all his tears and act like he's just a big dummy who thinks he's married to a woman who actually respects him and their vows.

Sam and Jason discuss the cruel irony that she finally got pregnant after his arch nemesis raped her, and that they had sex 3-4 times a day for a month, and Franco only raped her once, so hopefully math wins, and the baby is Jason's?

Someone shot Sonny, but fortunately for Sonny, his shitheadiness is so profound that the bullet took a hard right and only cut into his muffin top.  Also, it seems likely that Jax was the shooter.

and Ethan and Loo talk about Cassandra (though Ethan calls her Prudence), and Loo's Big Idiotic Plan is to turn the Haunted Star into an art gallery because of how she likes art and art galleries can be profitable.  Look out Wharton School of Business!  Looloo is making some amazing strides at making you irrelevant by just pointing out that if someone knows that a business can be profitable, then all they have to do is like the product sold, and fake non ergo, they will be profitable too.  

and Cassandra and Ewan chat endlessly about boring things.  and neither of them have aliens jump out of their stomachs, and there is no vampire slaying, making it all the more insufferable.  There's not even any gratuitous nudity.  lame!

on with today

today's characters are Matt and Liez, Johnny, Kate and Carly, Sean and Ancillary Sean Character, Dante and Loo, Tracy and Anthony

Loo brings breakfast to Dante and giggles that being married to him and bringing him breakfast is her favorite thing ever.  Aw, I miss those heady newlywed days when something as pedestrian as a breakfast bought at a gas station could  elevate my mood to giddiness.

Tracy and Anthony bicker about their marriage.

Sean finds an interloper at Kelly's.  It's some random kid who's mad at him for shooting his dad in the back.  Oy.  So now I have to watch Sean's backstory in action?

For some reason, Kate let Johnny check her oil.  (In her car, pervert).  Kate was very nice to match her clothes and accessories with Johnny's garage. Everything in the room is a shade of gray, or black or red.  Also, Kate did her hair like Zuzu.  Carly shows up and chases Kate away.

Sonny shows Michael the hole in his muffin top and warns that this is what dealing with the Z's will get ya.

Commercials

Nurse's Station:  Matt is annoyed that Patrick isn't at work.  Liez covers for him.  Then they talk about Ewan for a bit, and Liz insists she's not seeing anyone.  Matt says he told Maxie that he's not ready for a commitment.  Um no, you told her you weren't ready to move in and then you left when she complained that a murderer was outside her window.  Liez asks if Matt is unprepared for a commitment with anyone, or just Maxie.  But then Ewan shows up.

Kelly's:  Oh, so this is the kid that is the son of the Marine that Sean killed in Afghanistan?  Look, show, don't think you can trick me into caring about Sean by throwing a dead Marine's son in my face.  

Scenes from an Italian Restaurant:  Sonny explains that he has awesome moves, and that's why he wasn't hurt more from the shooting.  I'm not making that part up, just paraphrasing.  Sonny believes that he has super powers, apparently, and that he is faster than a freaking speeding bullet and that he reacted to the gunshot and that's why he wasn't injured more.  No way does Sonny consider that the lights were off, and the shooter had bad aim.  Kate with her Zuzu hair angrily asks why the story is always worse every time she walks through the door?  Um?  cuz you keep walking through that door? Kate is not all that bright.

Xtreme Motors:  I can only assume embarrassing flirting ensues.  I suggest watching The Wizard instead.  

Commercials

Supply Closet:  Liez and Ewan chat. Today he wants to pretend they are in an elevator.  No way this dude is really a doctor, right?  blah blah, visualize what she wants to open her eyes and see when the doors open.  Liez closes her eyes and when she opens them, ,she thinks she wants to be here.  ugh.

Kelly's:  Apparently Marine Kid acted out and left home and now he's here to stay.  Guess no one told him that heroes-in-training have to live in box cars.

Anthony and Tracy yammer on.  I am interested in two lamps by the bar.  I don't understand why she has to marry him, and I don't intend to pay attention long enough to find out.  Something to do with mob money.  She prefers all of her exes to him.  

Bullpen:  Loo gossips about Tracy.  She leaves her for her mystery job interview.  Detective Mulva shows up with a new plan to nail the Stripper Strangler.

Scenes from an Italian Restaurant:  Sonny tries to calm Kate down.  She acts all faint.  Michael informs her they think Johnny shot Sonny.  Sonny says he wasn't going to tell her about it.

Commercials

My computer went offline,a nd then I lost the next segment.

Basically, Kate is gross and fights with Sonny about his being shot, but then she says "I'm not going nowhere."

Liz wants to be in the here and now.  She wants a better life, but not a different one.

Mulva hired Ewan to profile the strangler.

Loo wants to be a dog walker, but it turns out she's allergic to pets.  Didn't they have a dog when she was little?  Maybe she was a five year old for the first 15 years of her life b/c the dog allergies stunted her growth?  

Commercials

Nurse's station;  Liez and Ewan make googly eyes at each other.  Or rather, she makes follicle stimulating hormone faces at him, and he makes possible serial killer faces at her.  Matt is dubious about Ewan because Matt is sane.

Anthony is eating a tableful of pastries.  I do love a buttery croissant. Tracy passionately defends Luke, while adding she doesn't want him back.  

Scenes from an Italian Restaurant:  Kate fingers Sonny's hole.  where he was shot.  She cries that the petals fell of her rose, and he takes the rose and turns his back and puts the petals in his pocket, and says that he glued them back on, and then hands her the rose, and she laughs and giggles that he can fix anything.  I'm making fun of her hair, but also, that's what these two are like.  She acts like a little girl who can will her imagination into being reality.  He is the least Jimmy Stewart-like entity on the planet.  

Commercials

Nurse's Station:  Piph asks Matt what he's doing here.  he gets charmingly existential, on a cellular level.  She says he's not as funny as he thinks he is.  heh.  Liz smiles coyly and wants to show him something.  Matt likey.  Maxie saunters up and wants to show him something too.

Xtreme Motors:  Carly frantically calls Luke and begs him to get her the info that will save her from sleeping with Johnny.

Also, Johnny cleans his gun.

Also, Michael hides a gun in some trash and then later picks the gun out of the trash.  With all my might I want Michael to have shot Sonny.  That would rule.

the end