Nurse's Station:  Memphis and Steve are annoying and aren't dead yet.

Robin and Patrick embrace.  I do like watching the two of them try not to cry about what's really on their mind.  Patrick breaks the silence and says she wasn't at a conference.

Sam and Jason wait for paternity results.

Jax and Kate gossip about sonny.  

Sonny and Jason talk about family secrets.

credits

Memphis and Steve say stuff.  

Emma's Cottage:  Robin is annoyed that Liez tattled.  Patrick sucks down tears and asks Robin to be honest.  Robin has no good answer as to why she didn't just tell him.  she was scared of losing what they had, they worked so hard to be happy.  Patrick says everything did change, he's her husband, and she should be able to tell him.  robin says Patrick would have been sad, like he is, and their daughter couldn't grow up in a stupid womb of unrealistic joy.  Patrick cries and asks if she doesn't trust him.  Robin admits she was in Seattle, not Africa.  Patrick cries some more.  (do I need to say by "cries" that I mean, actually sobs, with fluid falling out of his eyes, red nose, red cheeks, labored breath.  no one ever does what Patrick is doing on this show anymore...so...Patrick cries)  robin tells him there is reason to hope.  He hugs the weird, rude, stranger before him.

Luke shows up for Tracy's wedding.  (she's gorgeous in a white, silk suit with a gorgeous green camisole)

Sonny tells John that Anthony is not his father.  It's Annakin Skywalker!  John reads the birth certificate and realizes he was born in Kenya and can never be president. Gino Into The Night is John's father.  John insists he was born in crimson point and disses Sonny for falsifying docs.  Maurice Bernard is such a dreadful actor.  there, I said it.  what is wrong with this guy?  Is is the writing?  

commercials

Jason and Sam cry about her shoulderwomb.

Tracy stink eyes Luke for not stopping the ceremony and then stops it for its lack of decorum.  they joke about Tracy's 9 weddings, give or take.  Maxie has a gross chunk of lace for the old, new, borrrowed, blue schtick.  Luke molests Tracy's misery.  The Xylophone Guy takes over.  

Kate and Jax talk about Sonny.  and then they both catch bubonic plague and die.  that was unexpected!

rooftop:  Memphis and Steve go to the roof of GH.  and jump off.  man, this show is getting good.  crapy, my dvr ran out of space, so now I have to wait for the next segment.  all I know is Memphis and Steve are dead now.  If you listen, you can still hear them scream "but we never got to tell you the boring story about our life in Memphiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis"

Robin says they can all be okay now.  b/c of how she was so understanding when all he did was have sex with a pretty lady, and all she did was let him think she'd never loved him by leaving him.  blah blah , she talks about how her stupid 16 year old experience was the only thing that's ever happened to her, and she didn't want him to have any experiences of her dying b/c that would be like cheating on Stone.  Patrick tries to point out that he married her, and whatever they have is whatever "us" is.  He holds her, and she finally sobs and says she's scared.  He asks for no more secrets, other than to know if Lisa did this.  Robin says there's no way to know.  Patrick says this is his fault.  Robin cries this isn't what she wants.  Patrick reasonably says she can't control everything.  Robin wants him to find someone else. Patrick says she can't pick Liz to sub in for her.  They bicker about Robin went to Jason and not him.

Jason and Liez chat about his stage 4 soapdisease symptoms.  (stupid soap, like Jason couldn't invent Stage 5 if he wanted.  tsk)

so, yeah, the stupid, idiotic place the show went is that claudia is Johnny's son.  and let's just go with that mathematically impossible plot point.  so this means that Claud was raped by her dad and gave birth when she was 7.  and still Sonny is being a shithead about it.  and he's the hero of the show.  or best case, it means Claud was raped by some other dude when she was 7, and still, Sonny is a shithead.  

yep, I'm done.  

call me when the new writers join.

xoxo