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GH 5/22: Intoddidation

2012-05-22T19:21:36Z

Emma's Cottage: Emma lays sprawled on her bed, the covers kicked off.   Patrick covers her up, and she stirs and asks if Aunt Elizabeth is going to be her new mommy.

GH: Jason holds Liz. for, like, an hour, while Sam and Milly stare at them.

Kelly's al fresco: Todd runs into Carly and angrily wants to talk about her son is going to testify against his daughter. Well, how else are they ever going to fall in love?

PCPD: Starr and Michael run into each other.

Birds of Paradise: Johnny and Anthony struggle with the gun. It goes off. Everyone stares in concern, and then Anthony realizes he got hit and slowly sinks to the floor. Johnny cockily says he bets Anthony wasn't expecting that.

Commercials

Cafe Interrogate: Kate is back, and she sobs and asks Sonny to tell her what Konnie said. Sonny recaps watching Kate fight with her reflection, and when he ran to comfort her, it wasn't Kate in the room. He cries and says he didn't believe her. He can't speak for a minute, overcome with tears. He engulfs her face with his hands and cries that he believes her now. She laughs and cries.

Birds of Paradise: Johnny and Anthony continue to bicker, even as Anthony bleeds out. Johnny is willing to shoot him again.

PCPD: Random Cop politely stands around while a murder suspect and her witness make small talk.   Starr says she'll never know what freedom is again, after Michael testifies.

Kelly's al fresco: Todd continues to insist that Starr can't possibly be a threat to Sonny.

Maritime Motel, McBain Edition: Tea Delrubbo visits. She manages to take her hands off her belly long enough to remove her coat, but then WHAM, those hands go back to the belly like magnets. They gossip about Starr's chances, which are grim b/c Estrella won't let Tea use any of the dirt against Michael.    Tea groans as she stands, probably because she's 53 weeks pregnant. Tea asks what's up with John and Sam. He smiles obliquely.

GH: Liz tries to sound super, duper chipper that Ewan is going to be fine. and Sam is all "and he would be?" Jason tells them that he's symptom free. Sam says she's off to birthing class. Milly is jolly and asks if Jason would rather be there for Sam.

Commercials

Maritime Motel: Tea gazes at her profile in the mirror, and John insists there is no deal with Sam and him. Tea goads him. He says they are friends, and they talk, and Sam has problems. Tea grunts and tries to find a comfortable sitting position and mocks "and you're going to fix them?" heh.

GH: Jason doesn't want anything to do with Sam and her Cootie Baby.

Emma's Cottage: Patrick gets emotional and promises he's been sick, but he's better now.

PCPD: Michael says Starr brought her problems on herself. She says he's trying to punish her for lying to him. blah blah, Starr says she was going to kill Sonny, but then MIchael 'splained that this is a bad idea, so she didn't kill Sonny. and now she can't figure out why no one is giving her a cookie. Michael says Sonny is going to testify, and Michael won't lie on the stand, no matter how much Todd wants him to. Starr asks what Todd has to do with anything.

Kelly's: Carly isn't afraid of Todd and insists he's got to go through her to get to Michael.

Birds of Paradise: Anthony begs for his life; he promises not to tell anyone that Johnny shot out the tires. Johnny says he's already got someone to take the blame: Konnie.

Cafe Interrogate: Sonny wants to get Kate help. She wants to know what Konnie did. She asks if th egun was hers. Sonny tells her it was Konnie's. Kate lets out a helpless cry and buries her face under her arms and her tacky ass weave.

Commercials

Maritime Motel: John insists he doesn't try to save damsels in distress. He says Sam just talks, and he only saved her one time from a bad cop who had a gun. Tea cackles that her point is proven. John cutely waves his fingers and insists Tea gets no points. He sighs that he's actually making things worse for Sam.

GH: Sam pulls Jason aside, tells him she's told Milly about their problems. She thinks they'll have to tell the Q's, too. Jason doesn't see why they have to bother telling them. Oy, b/c Alan had a son he never knew about? whatever.   Sam doesn't want to raise the baby alone, and he says she doesn't have to.

BoP: Johnny continues to tell a second storyline. He tells Anthony that he went to Kate when she was in Cafe Interrogate and told her that he tried to sell Sonny on the idea that Konnie is real. Johnny laments that he can't get Carly back, but he thinks Sonny really loves Kate and may forgive her. Kate puts her head down and goes still, and then suddenly it's Konnie. Or maybe it's Kate pretending to be Konnie? I'm kind of confused by this new development of "Johnny was the Shooter" Back in the present, Johnny still has his gun pointed at his bleeding grandpa. He says "and there she was: Konnie, just like she'd always been."

Kelly's: Todd and Carly posture for who's a tougher parent. They chat for a bit and then share a laugh that everyone always ends up hating them. Todd has a plan to free Starr, and it includes Carly's ex-husband's girlfriend.

BoP: Johnny continues his story....Cafe Interrogate: Konnie starts to leave, but Johnny stops her and says she's in trouble. Konnie says she was almost out of the country, but Jason stopped her. She says Kate keeps whining that she shot out Anthony's tires, but she didn't. Johnny suggests that she say she did.

Cafe Interrogate: (as in right now, not as in Johnny memory): Kate cries that the gun was hers...er...Konnie's. Sonny tells her to be strong. They discuss what Konnie said, that she put Kate in the wedding dress to remind Kate that SOnny is dangerous, that she shot at Anthony. Kate sobs that she can't believe she'd do that. Sonny suddenly jasonically knows that it is far fetched.

BoP: Johnny tells Anthony that he had to convince Konnie to claim she shot out Anthony's tires: b/c the other option is that Kate gets therapy and becomes stronger and gets to end up with Sonny anyway. Johnny says that if Sonny finds out that Konnie framed Sonny and shot out the tires, he'd be done with her forever. Um, no, that makes no sense at all. Whatever, show, the point is that Konnie didn't really do the crime and is telling people she will b/c somehow this will make Sonny and Kate break up.

Cafe Interrogate: Kate sobs that she's is responsible for two people dying.

Commercials

Maritime Motel: John finishes up gossiping about Sam, "and her hubby is this guy Jason, who is Sonny's muscle, and like most people in this town, he's never been convicted of anything." Tea asks if it's wise to hang out with a Muscle's wife. John leaves it with "it's complicated."

GH: Sam is excited that Jason wants to raise the baby together. But nope, he just wants her to give her baby away so that he can be more comfortable. Sam says she thought about this option for a second, but then she saw the sonogram, and she felt the baby move, and she loves the baby, and she wants Baby Francopillow. She's going to handle it, even if he can't. Milly says the class is starting and asks if they still need her. Sam doesn't wait for Jason to answer. She caresses her sister's cheek and says they are ready. Sam and Milly leave and the camera moves so that we see that Liz has been standing at a computer trying to look like she's typing but not really typing b/c then she couldn't hear Jason and Sam's conversation.

Emma's Cottage; Patrick and Emma fill the room with adorable. She's proud of him for taking his medicine to get better. He smiles that she's the only medicine he needs.

PCPD: Starr points out that staying out of things is not a thing at which Todd excels.

Kelly's: Todd tells Carly his plan to save Starr by trading her freedom for Kate not getting in trouble either. Carly thinks Sonny is over Kate. Todd insists Sonny is "just a big, Greek teddy bear who wants love" heh. But also, Greek? Anysnooze, none of it matters if Johnny actually did the shooting. Now I'm worried I'm going to lose all the Z's.   pout.

Cafe Interrogate: Sonny leaves Kate to sob some more. In the hallway, he asks Alexis what he's going to do with this. They stare at Kate.

Commercials

BoP: Anthony keeps bleeding. Johnny didn't know there was another car involved. He didn't know until he saw the paper that he'd killed Starr's family. Johnny flashes back to reading the paper and falling to the ground when he read he'd killed a little girl. In the present, Johnny says he's been haunted by it ever since, and he feels sick. Johnny says he can't bring them back, but he can make amends, and he owes Starr.

Kelly's: Todd says it's his fault b/c he gave Starr the idea to finish what he'd started. Carly thinks Todd's plan may work if Sonny forgives Kate. Carly thinks she may forgive Johnny. Um, why? Sonny can forgive Kate b/c she's mentally ill. Johnny had sex with a mentally ill person, on purpose. How is that forgivable? They chat about burgers for a bit, and she flashes her eyes at him, and then Todd says he's glad that she'd be willing to forgive Johnny. He's done a lot of unforgivable things, and this gives him hope.

PCPD: Starr and Michael continue to sit around and chat, no cops in sight.   Starr speaks in a weird, breathy way. She wants a chance to go on with her life. Michael glumly says that maybe the court will go easy on her.

Cafe Interrogate: Alexis thinks Kate needs to be in a hospital. Sonny insists they can't let anyone know what Konnie did. Alexis says they are the only ones who know.

BoP: Johnny says when he realized he'd killed those kids (I assume he thinks of young Cole as a kid. I know I'd feel that way if I killed someone in the late teens/early 20's. Baby!), he wanted to convince himself that someone else did it. Anthony says Johnny is a good man, always was, he knows Johnny will get him help. Johnny says Anthony knows too much.

Commercials

Birds of Paradise: Johnny darkly says that Anthony left him no choice. Anthony says Johnny won't kill his old man. Johnny says Anthony isn't his old man. He points the gun. The music is scared.

Maritime Motel: Tea cautions John to stay away from the Hitman's life. He says it's not going to be a problem, as he's leaving town as soon as he Gets Sonny. She says she better leave before she has the baby in his room. He helps her with her jacket, and she mocks him by coquettishly saying "thank you, Johnnnnn" I want to watch Tea mock McBain every day. He just deadpans a "yeah" and says he wants to know if he can do anything to help Starr. She giggles and holds his face saying she will, that damsels in distress could do worse than help from John McBain. He tells her to get out of here, counselor. She giggles again and leaves. He tries not to think of Sam.

GH: Jason watches a man and pregnant woman get on an elevator. Once they get on, he can see Sam. He and Sam make eye contact, but she wordlessly gets on the elevator. Once Sam gets on the elevator, Jason can see Liz, and they make eye contact.

Patrick tucks in a smiling Emma.

Starr is led back to lockup while Michael looks on.

Todd emerges from Kelly's with his burger and fries, and Carly reaches into the bag to help herself to some fries. gross.

Alexis and Sonny watch Kate taken to lock up. Kate smiles tearfully at him. Sonny leans tearfully against a wall.

Anthony struggles to stand. Johnny growls "goodbye, Grandpa", and then he puts three bullets in him.

Goodbye, Wheels!

GH 5/21: Looloo Danger Kitten

2012-05-21T19:16:52Z

Crimson: Dante busts into Kate's office, demanding the blond behind the desk put her hands up.

Metrocourt: Carly fingers her bracelet, and Sean still lives here.

Lakehouse: Milly and TJ chastely smooch. Sam shows up, wondering who the dude is. Milly and TJ couldn't look more guilty, but Sam doesn't care. at all. She's here to meet Sam for her lamaze class. Milly wonders why Jason isn't doing that.

GH: Jason and Liz run into each other. Lamaze Teacher Lady assumes that Jason is here for her class, and she drags him to it. Lamaze Teacher Lady going to be so embarassed when John McBain shows up with Sam in 48 minutes!

PCPD: Alexis continues trying to reach Kate's new shrink, and she also laments she's missing lamaze class with Sam. Does she bother calling sam to give her a heads' up? no. Because then Sam would be less inclined to go with John. (not a spoiler. just placing bets)

Cafe Interrogate: Konnie purrs to Sonny that she shot out Anthony's tires.

Birds of Paradise: Johnny sits on the floor, his gramps pointing a gun at his head. Johnny gloats that he's the one that shot out Wheels' wheels.

Commercials

GH 5/16: Toddzilla

2012-05-16T19:04:35Z

Courtroom: Alexis and Flea yammer about the blurry picture and how it's all but freed Maxie. Random Lawyer Dude surveys the blurry photo.

Pentonville Bistro: Matt visits Maxie, who is sporting a Mardi Gras mask of a black eye. He tells her she's likely to be free soon.

Metrocourt: Michael repeats that he's going to be the star witness against Starr. Todd saunters up curtly introduce himself and tells Michael that anyone who hurts his little girl is on his hit list. Then he smiles and politely and says he feels like he interrupted and brightly asks "what were you two talking about?"

Commercials

Lock Up: She Who Rubs Her Tummy and Starr chat about Rubby's run in with Todd, and that Carly Corinthos Jax ran interference. Rubby wants to be there when Todd finds out that his new BFF Carly is the mother of the creep who's going to testify against Starr.

Metrocourt: Michael angrily tells Todd that Starr tried to kill his father, that she said loudly "I'm going to kill you." and that's what he's going to tell the court. Todd grimaces.

Pentonville Bistro: Maxie chatters endlessly while Matt tries to tell her that she'll be free soon.

Courtroom: Random Lawyer Dude isn't as convinced by the blurry photo as everyone else is and asks where it even came from. Valid.

Courthouse: Sonny and Alexis gossip about Kate's case. Sonny says that Johnny talked to Sonny about Johnny wanting to take the blame b/c Kate wasn't in her right mind. Alexis asks if Sonny is buying this story.

Nurse's Station: Liz and Piph gossip about how they can't believe that Patrick is still sad that his wife died suddenly. They agree they can't force Patrick to come back to work. They also apparently can't take their heads out of the collective asses long enough to know the man they are gossiping about is standing right there. I miss the scruff. He's in a suit, clean shaven, and ready to make mince meat out of someone's brain.

Commercials

Nurse's Station: Piph congratulates Patrick on cleaning up so well. Liz is pleased that her future boyfriend is going to operate on her semi-current boyfriend.

Scenes cut between the courtroom and Pentonville. New Lawyer Guy concedes that the ridiculously fuzzy photo appears to be of a man bludgeoning Lisa. How can the tell that it's obviously Lisa , but they can't tell who the man is? Why wouldn't the court require to view the video on their own, and not settle for Spinelli's low resolution version? Why would the boat have such shitty surveillance cameras? If you're going to all the expense, why not get decent ones? These questions and more, answered never! Maxie is angry at Spinelli for ruining her plan to save Matt. New Lawyer Guy reasonably wants to know who is in the photo.

Courthouse: Alexis asks Sonny if he can forgive Kate if it comes to light that, indeed, Kate didn't consciously sleep with Johnny. Alexis is going to have a different doctor hypnotize Kate to try to get Konnie to come out. Sonny says Kate's fingerprints were on the paperweight, so what else do the cops need to know. Alexis sighs and leaves him.

Lockup: Tea Delrubbo rubs and rubs and rubs at her belly while Starr whines about how she feels bad for hurting MIchael. Tea points out that he may have been nice before, but he's testifying against her now. Starr can't hear this for some reason. Tea says they'll sling mud as a defense and make Michael look like a dirty little liar. Starr insists that Michael's not a liar.

Metrocourt: Michael continues to insist that Todd is wrong, that Starr had the safety off, her finger on the trigger and made threats. This is what he's telling the judge. Todd says this isn't okay with him. Michael tells Todd to try and stop him. Todd contemplates the most painful way to do such.

Commercialsj

Metrocourt: Carly says this is clearly an emotional time for everyone. Todd spits that even more clearly, Starr wins the contest for Most Emotional. He tries to tone it down and points out that Starr was acting out of grief from losing her child and love of her life. He asks if Michael has any compassion. Michael asks where Starr's compassion was for Sonny when she tried to kill him. Todd answers, "in a burning car at the bottom of a ravine." Even Carly tries to get Michael to be empathetic to Starr, and Todd says that Starr has lost so much, and now Michael wants her to be in prison. Michael thinks Starr will go after his father again. Todd shrugs that Sonny is a mafia kingpin, and a little girl is no threat to him. Michael continues to insist. I'm always on the side of anyone who wants or tries to Get Sonny, even if it's for unfair, unjust or hypocritical reasons. A woman got to have a code, as the wise Omar once said, and mine is to want hopelessly for someone, anyone, to take Sonny down. Thus, I side with Starr and think Michael is being 1/8 of a Joffrey here.

Courtroom: Alexis argues that Maxie's confession be set aside b/c of the blurry photo. The DA is not in agreement.

Pentonville: and, then Maxie throws a pity party.   She asks him if the photo shows who did it. Matt says the photo is too blurry. He says this and has an epiphany. He says he thinks he knows who killed Lisa, and Spinelli thinks the killer blocked it out. Maxie whispers for him not to continue. Matt says he thinks his brother killed Lisa.

Nurse's Station: Liz and Patrick chat about the impending surgery. Liz thanks him. Liz leaves and Piph triumphantly and admiringly says "so we finally got your butt off the couch?" Patrick chuckles, leans towards her, smiles gorgeously and corrects her by simply saying "you." (as in "you got me off the couch"). I love Piph and Patrick's love/grump friendship.

Lock Up: Tea feels up her baby and takes notes. Starr insists that she can't blame Michael for wanting to protect his dad. Tea points out that Everyone Lies for Michael all the time, and he didn't come forward about Claud's murder for month, and they can destroy him. Starr won't let Tea do that. No matter how much she gropes her belly.

Scenes from an Italian Restaurant: Sonny is saddened by a photo of Kate. Milo announces Todd.

Commercials

Scenes from an Italian Restaurant: Sonny mutters stuff about Todd's attempt on his life. Todd is all Yep, like father like daughter. Sonny mumbles this is pretty glib for a man with a daughter in lock up. Todd proclaims that Sonny shalt drop the charges. Then they smile handsomely and sarcastically at each other, Sonny flashing the dimples, Todd doing his crooked mona-lisa-serial-killer smile.

Lock Up: Starr doesn't want Michael to be hurt. Tea says Starr is having a hard time, and she needs to let Tea do her job. Starr says that if Michael hadn't shown up, she'd be a murderer. Tea doesn't think that's true. Starr sadly says Tea doesn't know her as well as she thinks. Tea asks what went on with Michael and Starr. She says he was good to her. She says the thing with Claud was a terrible time, and she doesn't want to use it. Tea asks "even if it's the only way to save you."

Metrocourt: Michael and Carly bicker. Carly brings up that she knows that Johnny isn't guilty. Michael thinks this is b/c she's still loyal to Johnny b/c They Are In Truest Of All Love. Carly says she knows because she knows.

Nurse's Station: Patrick says he took Piph's advice and took a good look in the mirror. He admits he didn't know who he saw. He looked like hell, but it was mostly that his eyes looked empty. He says everything feels empty without Robin. Piph says it doesn't have to be. He thanks her. He's worried he's pushed away his brother, who was right like she was. Piph says she appreciates it was hard, and for what it's worth, she's proud of him. She turns back to her computer, and he starts to leave. He leans in and tells her it's worth a lot. This leaves her speechless, but he stands and smiles at her until she reaches her hand backward. They hold hands for a moment while she keeps her eyes forward, then she drops it to send them both back to work.

Pentonville: Maxie insists that Patrick didn't kill Lisa. Matt insists it is clearly a dark haired man. Matt says Patrick is a mess lately. She cries that of course he is, he just lost his wife. Matt says that's what love is, sacrificing yourself for someone you love. Maxie tearfully nods.

Courtroom: blah blah, Alexis insists the crux is that clearly the killer is not a blond, short woman. DA insists they need more. Judge asks if Alexis has any info to support the photograph.

Pentonville: Matt blathers about how Patrick is probably subconsciously blaming himself. He says Spinelli gave the blurry photo to Mac and Flea.

Courtroom: Judge decides the confession stands.

Pville: Maxie is worried that Mac will look for the man in the photograph. Matt leaves to talk to Mac, but Maxie begs him not to. He finds this curious.
Commercials

P-ville: Maxie cries and tries to throw Matt off.

Courthouse: Alexis tells Mac that blurry evidence is not very good evidence. Spinelli jumps up, annoying the judge.

P-ville: Matt thinks Patrick needs to know. Maxie cries that this is so lame.

Courthouse: Spinelli reluctantly blurts out that there is more evidence.

P-ville: Maxie cries that if anyone follows up on Blurry Photo, it won't lead to Patrick.

Courthouse: Spinelli says he knows the identity of Mystery Man.

Metrocourt: Carly flashes back to her discussion with Todd where they discussed that Kate/Konnie killed Starr's family. She chooses not to tell this to Michael.    She tries another tactic and says it must hurt to know that someone tried to hurt a loved one with no regard for his feelings. She asks if that's why he's throwing Starr to the wolves.

Scenes from an Italian Restaurant: Todd draws Sonny in slowly. He tries first to play on Sonny's sympathy and understand that Starr acted out of grief and that she believed Sonny was guilty of her family's death. Sonny concedes he empathizes with Starr, but he doesn't want to live his life looking over his shoulder. more than he already does.   Todd sincerely says Starr won't go after Sonny again. Todd enjoys slowly toying with people. That's why it's okay with me that he's dreadful and kills people. I don't mind cruelty if it's entertaining to watch. It's why I sort of love Cersei on Game of Thrones. Lena Headley is just so darn awesome at being The Worst Person Ever. Todd could have walked in and said "your girlfriend killed my grandbaby" and it would still be dramatic. But it wouldn't be cool. and it wouldn't take forever. and it wouldn't annoy Sonny as much as the agonizingly slow reveal. Sonny stands up and says that Todd's assurance that Starr won't go after him isn't as sufficient as her going to prison. Todd asks 'because of your son's testimony." Sonny says that Michael already made a statement. Todd nods and says that he needs to take that statement back. Sonny exhales in boredom but can't help himself from asking, "and why is that?" Todd smiles because he loves set ups for his cheesy jokes, "funny you should ask."

Commercials

Nurse's station: Liz is glad Patrick's back. He doesn't think he could do it without Emma. Liz says Robin wouldn't be surprised. Patrick leaves for surgery. Liz tries to figure out how much more complicated it would be to be both a surgeon and psychiatrist's wife, who worked at the same hospital than it was to screw brothers who didn't work together. Maybe if Ewan moved to Spoon Island....

P-ville: Matt says they know a dark haired man killed Lisa, so what are their options?

Courthouse: Spinelli doesn't tattle on Matt.

P-ville: Matt says it leaves him and his brother, and they both know he didn't do it. Maxie cries silently.

Courthouse: Judge tries to end the proceedings, but Spinelli stops it again, and says he's ready, again, to tell the truth.

P-ville: Matt tells Maxie she's freaking him out. She sobs. He says she's known the whole time who killed Lisa. She sobs. Matt's eyes grow large in horror. Big, soap operatic horror. (Spinelli finally tattles on Matt, praying for Maxie's forgiveness) Maxie sobs that Matt's the killer, and lays her head on his chest. and cries.

Metrocourt: carly holds Michael's hands. She says she knows he's been bummed since he lost Abby, and she knows he hates being betrayed, so maybe he's trying to get back at Starr for betraying him. Michael admits he's mad that Starr used him, but it doesn't mean she's not guilty.

Lockup: Tea begs Starr to work with her. Starr says nothing will stop Michael from testifying.

Scenes from an Italian Restaurant: Sonny says Michael saw it, and he's going to testify. Todd calmly says that Sonny can change his mind, or he'll go to the DA and explain who really did it. Sonny scoffs that Todd can say whatever he wants about Johnny. Todd, with slow deliberation, says "not Johnny. (dramatic pause) Konnie." Sonny's hair gasps. Todd says that Sonny knows her better as Kate.

The End

GH 5/15: shut up, show

2012-05-15T19:16:38Z

Jason sits around missing Sam, who is at the hospital for a check up and missing Jason. She tells Dr. Kelly that Alexis is her birth partner.

Lakehouse: Much hubbub at the Lansing-Davis house. Alexis rushes off to meet Sam, and Milly reveals that she was really dressed for school. fascinating.

Kelly's: That guy who used to be in all the scenes with Carly, and his protege who's into Milly still live here.

Metrocourt: Johnny gives Carly a gift.

Kelly's: Michael and Sonny eat eggs and gossip.

Bullpen: Todd berates a cop for locking up his daughter with the woman who may have killed Starr's daughter.

LockUp: Kate flashes back to telling Alexis that she thinks Konnie killed Starr's family. In her flashback, Todd overhears this, which is a weird detail for Kate to remember, since her back was turned.

Kate tearfully tells Starr she has something to tell her.

Commercials

Jason's Penthouse: Spinelli bursts in to show Jason the blurry photo of Someone Killing Lisa. Spinelli wants to make sure that no one can identify the man in the picture, and since Jason can't, Spinelli is elated to realize that No One can. So he can free Maxie without implicating Matt.

Exam Room: Kelly tries to cheer up Sam that it's totally awesome to have your mom be your birth partner and not your husband. It's a hard sell. Soooo, what about a weird cop who constantly finds reasons to brush the hair out of your eyes?

Kelly's: Alexis and Sean gossip about Milly.

Lakehouse: Milly primps, and TJ shows up. They chastely smooch. When did this happen?

Lock Up: Starr starts blathering and flaring her nostrils about how she doesn't want to hear about how the jury exonerated Sonny. She cries about losing her family, being that she's the only person who has ever experienced loss. It's going to bore me watching Kate Almost-but-not-quite-tell-Starr that she killed her family.

Bullpen: Todd gets thrown out of the pCPD again.

Metrocourt: Johnny got Carly a Cinderella charm bracelet, complete with pumpkin coach. Apparently they got drunk on wine one night, and she told him she always wanted this. Did she tell you that she always wanted a boyfriend who didn't cheat on her and sleep with people she hates? Because that one would have been way neater than a dopey bracelet. blah blah, Johnny remembers everything Carly ever told him. because somehow their 14 minute love affair has meant more to them than Jax, Sonny, Olivia and Loo combined. shut up, show.

Commercials

Metrocourt: Johnny is surprised that Carly is still mad at him and a dinky trinket didn't fit everything. Johnny keeps grabbing at her, and Todd shows up and tells Johnny to scram.

Kelly's: Michael is speaking in a tedious monotone, so I don't know what he says. Something about Starr being a danger to Sonny. Alexis shows up to meet Sonny, and Michael gives her his seat. and his Grand Slam. Yum! The idea of eating someone else's cold eggs and limp toast is completely revolting. blah blah, Alexis banned Milly from seeing TJ, and that a friend was going to take her to school. Michael's plan is to pick up Milly and take her to school. Without bothering to call her to say this is happening. So that way this friend can go butt a stump for her trouble? and apparently the Lakehouse is somehow on the way to both her high school and his college. Alexis flashes back to Kate's saying she killed Starr's family.

Lockup: Starr sits around crying about her family. and look, of course there would be nothing worse than what she's going through. It's unbearable. But as unbearable as it would be to actually live through this, it doesn't change the fact that it's obnoxiously repetitive to hear an annoying person cry badly and overact all over the place over and over again. Starr talks about her life like she's the Laura from the book where Laura is a 98 year old grandmother and not the one where Manly kisses her for the first time. and then she starts sobbing why why why, and zzzzzzzzz

Metrocourt: Todd asks Johnny how he could screw up something so great. Johnny wants to know who the hell he is. Carly introduces them, and Johnny realizes he's Starr's father. Todd is concerned that Johnny knows his daughter.

Jason's Penthouse: blah blah Spinelli plans to set Maxie free. Jason is about as bored as I am about it.

Exam room: Kelly says all is well, though Sam should try to reduce her stress level. and then Kelly notices something on the chart that makes the violins freak out.

Commercials

Metrocourt: Todd and Johnny play connect-the-dots for a bit, including the bit that it was Johnny's gun that Starr used to not kill something with. Carly interrupts to say it's over and tries to give him back the bracelet. He tells her to toss it if she wants, but it's hers. He leaves.

Lakehouse: What time does Milly's school start? They've been sneaking around since the party, apparently. Milly thinks it's fine because it's unreasonable of Alexis to ban her from seeing TJ, and she isn't doing anything wrong (other than lying to her mother every single day, probably several times day, and missing school. ) Michael walks in on them kissing.

Kelly's: Sonny suggests that Alexis try the insanity defense for Kate. She mocks him and leaves for another appointment, taking Michael's toast with her.

Lock up: ay yi yi, Starr is still standing around and repeating all the things she's already said a dozen times. Kate cries that no one wanted Hope and Cole to die.

Metrocourt: Carly tosses the bracelet. Todd thinks Johnny is up to no good w/r/t Starr, and he wants Tea to have him questioned. Carly is pissed that Tea had Todd banned from visiting Starr.

Lock up: blah blah, Kate keeps not telling Starr what happened.

Kelly's: Johnny wants to talk to Sonny. Sean wants to stand around and listen because someone remembered he still works here.

Commercials

Exam room: Kelly noticed the iron levels are low, which means the baby could have some kind of medical jargony thing that is basically Cassadine-dread-baby-disease. I guess it's the same thing Kristina had? that caused Alexis to kill Sam's baby, so that she could use her stem cells?

Lakehouse: Michael chastises Milly for being a lying sneak. Milly begs Michael not to tattle. oy.

Kelly's: Sonny says there is no problem. Sean wants to re-arrange Johnny's face and learns that Carly dumped Johnny. the show seemed almost interesting for a few days, and now it's nothing but crap I don't care about.

Lockup: or scenes like this one that just drag on and on and end exactly where they began. Kate starts to confess to Starr, but Alexis shows up and shuts her up.

Metrocourt: Carly hates Kate, but she's pretty sure she couldn't have caused the accident. Carly asks if Todd is going to kill Kate.

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Lakehouse: Michael's idiotic plan is to let Milly keep lying to her mother. and since Milly's school apparently starts at 11:15am, she's still going to sit around waiting for her friend to pick her up. and Michael believes this. Oy, who cares, just get pregnant, for all I care, Milly. The show will just kill your baby, anyways.

Lockup: Alexis tries to keep Kate quiet. which isn't hard to do b/c Kate has had 3 hours to spill the beans to Starr, so she's clearly not that eager.

Kelly's al fresco: After Sonny mutters about for a bit, Johnny tells him that he slept with Konnie, not Kate. Sonny yells about this, and Johnny keeps trying to explain that Kate loves him, but Konnie hates him. Sonny thinks Kate put him up to this. Johnny says he cares because of Carly.

Metrocourt: Carly tells Todd that he can't blame Kate for something Konnie did, that is if he buys into the whole D.I.D. thing. Todd chuckles that he does, that it runs in his family, and that he fakes it sometimes to get out of trouble. But his sister says that there is no excuse for bad behavior, and having an alternate personality isn't free reign to do terrible things. He can't forgive Konnie, any more than Carly can forgive Johnny.

Cafe Interrogate: Alexis and Kate have the same conversation they've already had about keeping a lid on it.

Commercials

No more episodes without John McBain. They are the WORST! More shameless flirting! Less of everything else!

Kelly's al Fresco: Sean peeks out the window so that he can get some screen time. Sonny tells JOhnny that Carly doesn't care about him. Johnny says that Kate didn't choose to cheat on him, and if he wants her, he can get her back. Johnny leaves.

Metrocourt: Carly fishes the bracelet out of the trash. Michael stops by, and Carly breaks the news that Starr was arrested for trying to kill Sonny. Michael says he was the one who turned Starr in. Todd approaches as Michael says this. He has a look of murder on her face, but Carly doesn't find this a bit alarming, so she lets Michael keep flapping his gums.

For the umpteenth time in 48 minutes, Starr sobs over a photo,a nd Kate cries that she killed Hope and Chloe.

The episode begins how it ended. Jason looking sadly at his dragon. as inhe one on the mantle, not the lonely one in his jeans. While Sam gives a maudlin sigh and misses Jason.

GH 5/14: Smelly Pat

2012-05-14T22:44:19Z

Cafe Interrogate: Kate tells Alexis that Konnie may have killed Starr's family. Todd overhears this and curses Konnie's name.

Maritime Motel: Sam chats with Blair and wishes Sam good health (we've learned that Sam, as in Blair's son, is ill). Sam overhears him say how much he cares about Sam. Sam, as in the woman on this show, is checking on John to make sure Jason didn't rearrange his face.

Kelly's: Liz babysits Emma while Jason hangs out with them. Emma is tired of drawing pictures for her absentee father, and she wants her mom.

Heather calls Luke, but he hangs up on her, then she tries to call back and gets voice mail.

Emma's cottage: Anna rings the bell, but Patrick hides, so Anna leaves.

Metrocourt: Tea checks into the Metrocourt, and Carly recognizes her name.

Commercials

Kelly's al fresco: Luke is on the phone trying to change his number. She says she tried to visit Patrick, but apparently he's working at Mercy Hospital today.

Emma' Cottage: Epiphany bangs on the door, swearing she's not going away. Patrick meekly answers the door. Piph tells him it's tried to get cleaned up and go back to work.

Kelly's: Jason says Robin was his friend from way back, and she taught him lots of stuff, like how to play checkers, and how to say goodbye b/c she went to Paris once, and he missed her. Emma tells Jason that Mommy is in heaven now. Jason he misse her, but he closes his eyes and remembers her smile, and things she taught him. Emma closes her eyes for a moment and smiles when she can see her mom. She says Mommy taught her how to make spaghetti. Jason says he remembers Robin telling him how much she loves Emma. Liz says that Robin still loves her very much. Emma smiles that she can feel her there. Jason and Liz and chat. She thanks him for coming to the cemetery. She asks if he ever found Sam. He says she's still at the Maritime Motel, and he's worried it's because she wants to be close to John.

Maritime Motel: John shows Sam the bug and insists he only cares about bringing down Sonny. She asks if she may ask why.

Metrocourt: Tea asks why Carly reacted to seeing her name. Carly acts like she's heard of Tea because she's a famous lawyer. Random Bellop, played by Mark Decarlo, tells Carly that Mr. Manning's room is ready. Tea is irate that Todd didn't leave town, like she told him to. Carly says that Todd is worried about her daughter. Tea realizes that Carly is another big dummy who's fallen for Todd's charms.

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MC: Tea asks if Carly is more than a desk clerk. Carly says she owns the joint and calls herself Carly Corinthos Jax. Tea recognizes the name.

Bullpen: Todd wonders who Konnie is, but two cops pull him away and ask him to leave. He starts yammering about how he owns a newspaper, and the first amendment and such, but they drag him out of there.

Cafe Interrogate: Kate cries that if Konnie did kill those people, she has to be stopped.

Maritime Motel: Sam says that Jason isn't an accomplice in very crime Sonny commits. She asks him again why he's here, and he says Sonny hurt someone he cares about, and his time to investigate is running out.

Kelly's: Jason gossips to Liz that he doesn't know if he can love Francobabypillow. Liz is sure they will work it out. He concedes that he loves Sam, but they need time. My guess is they need juuuuust about enough time for Jason to fall back in love with Liz and for Sam to fall in love with McBain (and hopefully for Natalie to leave him for Brody, and Ewan to turn 25, so that he's interesting and not just a little baby who sits around coloring for 15 years like Georgie and Looloo used to do)

Kelly's al fresco: Luke tells Anna he's trying to help Heather lose his number b/c she's creepy. I paraphrase, but it's a valid reason.

GH: Heather hugs Steven Lars (drink) and says she thinks they should chalk up his newly found freedom to a miracle. Olivia mutters under her breath that it was some miracle. Heather indignantly asks if Olivia is saying it was something else. Olivia says she's just surprised by the turn of events. Steven hugs her. He still doesn't understand when Maggie became suicidal. Olivia says she wasn't a fan of Maggie's, but she seemed to truly love her work and save children. Heather says that women often commit desperate acts when they can't have the man they love.

Kelly's al fresco: Anna is skeeved to hear that Heather was prowling around their suite. They laugh at Heather going off to Memphis to storm the police department. Anna apologizes for making light of Luke's predicament, but she giggles that Heather is a psycho. Luke says there is something special about Anna when she smiles.

Emma's Cottage: Patrick says he doesn't think he is a brain surgeon anymore. Piph tells him she's been giving him some slack, but he needs to decide if the man he's becoming is the man he wants his daughter to see, and the man he wants to be.

Kelly's: Jason says he can only think of Franco when he thinks about the baby. Liz says this is reasonable. He agrees with Sam that the baby deserves to be loved, but he's failing to be able to do that. She promises he'll fall in love with the baby the minute he holds him. Jason says he hopes so, but he's worried it will be too late for him and Sam.

Maritime Motel: The baby kicks, and Sam marvels at the feeling. She laments that she's not sharing moments like this with Jason. She worries she'll have to ask Alexis to be her birth coach. Alexis calls, and John overhears that it's Sam's birthday. Sam blows off her mom again, and John wishes her a happy birthday. He of course wishes this by leaning against the door and using a sultry voice. Who do these two idiots think they are kidding?

cafe Interrogate: Kate recaps the past several months, dealing with Bekoming Konnie.

Metrocourt: Carly says Todd told her about the complicated past with Tea's husband. Tea says it's not that complicated: Todd killed Victor in cold blood, and Carly doesn't know a think about Todd. She rubs her baby pillow, and Carly says she's sorry for Tea's loss. Todd shows up. As does Bass Drum Guy. I think Bass Drum Guy is going to get quite the work out now that Todd's in town.

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Metro Court: Todd says he's glad to talk to her, but she instantly lights into him, telling him that she and Starr asked him to leave, and she's going to have him banned from the visitor's list. Tea storms out. Carly says she likes Blair better. Todd agrees.

Cafe Interrogate: Alexis asks how Kate got a gun. She says she doesn't know how Konnie does the things she does. Alexis says it sounds like they need to talk to Konnie.

Kelly's; Liz gets a text that Ewan needs brain surgery. Um, duh? Hasn't he been unconscious for 3 weeks now? Luke gazes at Aidan in his stroller and murmurs that he looks more like Lucky everyday. Anna sits with Emma to color. Methinks Emma will grow up to be an occupational therapist b/c apparently all anyone is every going to do with this child is color with her. Jason tells Luke he wants to talk to him about Jakeson.

Maritime Motel: Sam says she doesn't want to upset Milly by letting her know she moved out. She doesn't like birthdays anyways, and this will probably be the worst one of her life (no offense to the birthday she had after babylilapillow died, of course. or the one after her brother's death. or the ones where she was being all awesome and drunk all the time while Liz and Jason were falling in love) She says she's glad he's alive and turns to go, and he asks her to stay.

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GH: Olivia continues to blame Johnny. Steve insists this isn't Johnny's fault. He pulled the plug, and Maggie took her life to cover for him. Olivia cries a little. Heather saunters up and sing songs that they arent doing any good by continuing to talk about this. She thinks a BLT at Kelly's will solve everything.

Kelly's: Jason thanks Luke for the charity that Luke set up in Jakeson's name. Jason tells Liz he has to take care of something, he wishes Ewan well. She says she'll be thinking about him. Piph tells Liz that Patrick won't perform the surgery on Ewan. She breaks the news that Patrick has been wallowing in his own filfth at home, and not working at Mercy like Liz thought he was. Liz asks Anna to watch Emma. She says she's taking Aidan to daycare. Luke offers to watch him, and says Anna is here for back up. Liz agrees.

Maritime Motel: Sam has her eyes closed, per John's direction. He gives her a present. It's some soap from the motel. He tells her everyone should have something to unwrap on their birthday. She jokingly unwraps it and sniffs it. He deadpans that it's French. He says birthdays are a time for people to look forward to the future. She thanks him for the sentiment. There's a knock at the door, and Sam tries not to poop her pants hoping it's not Jason about to bust her again for being in John's bedroom.
Sam: Oh, I've been wondering whose baby would be switched with mine at birth!
Tea: When my baby needs a major organ transplant, it's nice to see it will come from someone with such nice hair. Tea weirdly says that Sam her her husband must be very happy. Kind of old fashioned and presumptuous a thing to say. But it's only said so that Sam can feel all weird about being dumped by her husband and then put her foot in it to say likewise to Tea. And does Tea politely say "thank you" to this complete stranger? No, she has to rub herself like a Buddha and say her husband recently passed away. She angrily asks John if he knows Todd is here. John is all, "good to see you too, Tea."

Metrocourt: Todd tells Carly that he saw Kate at the PCPD and that Kate knows who is responsible for the car accident.

Cafe Interrogate: Kate cries that Ewan is in a coma and can't hypnotize her. Alexis suggests they find another doctor. Kate doesn't trust anyone else, and she's worried Konnie will stay out. Alexis says they can't do anything until they know more. Kate just wants to confess so that she can be locked up, and then Konnie can't hurt anyone else.

Metrocourt: Carly says Kate is wrong about Johnny's involvement. Todd says Kate actually mentioned someone named Konnie.

Commercials

Kelly's: Luke and Anna play with Emma and Aidan. Anna laughs at them for being grandparents. Heather stops by and loathes the domestic scene of Luke and Anna with two kids.

Emma's Cottage: Knock on the door. Patrick yells at Piph to go away. He opens the door with an angry "what?" Liz asks how Mercy is doing these days. He apologizes for lying to her. She says he can make it up by operating on Ewan.

Maritime Motel: Jason stops by to wish Sam a happy birthday. He doesn't even bring her soap. Just the cruel reminder that he doesn't love her baby, and then he leaves.

Maritime Motel: John and Tea have ordered Chinese food. super rude thing to make Sam smell on her birthday.

Metrocourt: Carly asks Todd if he's certain. Todd asks why everyone's name in this town rhymes: Sonny, Carly, Konnie, Johnny. He asks who the hell Konnie is. Carly says Kate is Konnie.

Cafe Interrogate: Alexis says no one is confessing anything until they get more info. She sends Kate to lockup and asks her not to say a word to anyone else.

Upcoming Scenes:

Lockup: Starr makes a stink face while Kate sobs to her that she has to tell her something.
Bullpen: Todd yells at a cop for locking up his daughter next to the person who killed Starr's family.
Kelly's: Sonny doesn't want to talk to Johnny, but Johnny insists.

GH 5/3: Starry Knight

2012-05-04T02:18:56Z

Carly visits Johnny, seemingly just to knee him in the groin and gloat about beating up Kate.

Lockup: Mulva visits Dante, and he begs to be released. She asks if he has any proof about Ronnie. Everyone keeps wanting to look at both sides, and Dante does his best to keep madness and frustration from shooting lasers out of his fingertips and killing everyone. He yells that there isn't time b/c Ronnie has his wife.

Motel Maritime: All the rooms in the crappy motel have adorably hideous bedspreads with ugly ships on them. They are awesome. I love little else more in this town than these ridiculous bedspreads. I love them as much as Foghorn Guy. I would swoon if Ric wrapped one around his waist. I have a crush on the set designer that found them and convinced the show to use them.

Anyhoo, Ronnie ripped up sheets and tied Loo to the bed. Ronnie is all crazy now and blames Loo for sticking her nose into his business, and now she's a liability.

MC: Luke is frantic to find Loo and enlists Anna's help.

Corinthaus: Starr visits Sonny with Johnny's gun in her pocket. If I suspend disbelief, which I'm told is a rule of enjoying fiction, then I find this scene rather stupendous. Starr is dreamy and scary, probably scaring herself a little bit and loving it. You see that she's a Manning is my point. I imagine Victor had moments like this. She has let herself go to the darkest side of herself, all of the starry eyed girl obscured by the notion that she has nothing to lose, nothing to live for, simply a desire to punish. She speaks slowly, her eyes lacking their usual sparkle. I find her mesmerizing, and even though I know no harm ever comes to Sonny, I believe she is more capable of inflicting pain than all The Dangers combined. She talks about how her record contract was squashed because the guy was a criminal. But now she's signed a new contract with Johnny.

Motel Maritime: Ronnie sits on the floor next to Loo's bed and cries a little that this got so messed up. He decides to clear his head with a shower and turns on cartoons for Loo to watch. he leaves the remote on the bed. The moment he's out of the room, Loo kicks her feet until she traps the remote with them, and pulls it to her.

Motel Maritime Hall: John sits on the floor next to Sam's bench and apologizes for any part he played in this. She insists it's not his fault and thanks him for being there to listen. She says she and Jason need some time apart to figure out what happens next. They are neighbors. because Duh. He thinks this is ill advised. She says it's the only room left, and she's tired and just wants to sleep.

Loo turns up the cartoon as loud as she can.

In the hall, John shrugs "so much for a quiet place."

Corinthaus: Sonny suggests that working with Johnny is a bad idea. Starr loses all her badassery and goes back to being a whiny, petulant child and says Johnny said that Sonny is the bad guy. or whatever.

Birds of Paradise: Johnny blurts out that Kate has a split personality.

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Birds of Paradise: Carly scoffs at this lame excuse and accuses him of having a split personality. He repeats that it's true and freaky. She admires his creativity but calls him a liar.

MC: Anna wants to call the cops. Luke squashes. Anna has other plans besides the PCPD.

Maritime Motel: Sam wants chips to drown her sorrow, and John points her to the vending machine. He's going to talk to the occupant about the noise.

Ronnie comes out of the shower. He threatens to strangle Loo if she's not quiet. He answers the door and asks what he can do. John tells him to put on some pants (thank you) and turn down the TV. Ronnie tells him to butt a stump and slams the door, but John catches it with his foot.

Birds of Paradise: Johnny continues to say Kate is also Konnie. That Kate doesn't even know what's going on. Carly reasonably scoffs and starts to leave until Johnny says it's real and it's called D.I.D.

Corinthaus: Starr is back to being trance-like and awesome. She talks about how he lives here, goes to party, spends time with his family, back to normal, like Cole and Hope never died. He asks if he needs to call anyone. He says that he appreciates she's wallowing in grief, but she doesn't understand a few things. He says Johnny has a lot of problems. She says that Sonny shot at Johnny last night. She sarcastically sings songs that it was just another misunderstanding. He says it was something personal that he doesn't want to discuss. She murmurs "something personal.." and reaches for the gun. She pulls it out and aims it at his chest. A single tear falls unnoticed down her cheek as she smiles dreamily as she says "so is this. So is this." Sonny backs up and holds up his hands.

Commercials

Corinthaus: Sonny asks her to think about what she's doing. She murmurs that she's been thinking about this...." She readjusts her grip as Sonny asks where she got the gun. She finishes her sentence "ever since I lost my little girl." Then with mock politeness and a half smile she politely asks "what?" to his question. He asks again, and she chuckles that it doesn't matter. He says Johnny put her up to this, and her face darkens at the implication. He continues that Johnny put a little girl up to do his work. Starr spits out the phrase little girl and says she's a mother who lost her only child. What I love about this is that her finger isn't on the trigger until Sonny starts talking about how Johnny is taking advantage of her pain. She puts her finger on the trigger and emphatically points the gun on Sonny, advancing and screeches this isn't about Johnny. Sonny puts his hands up and cowers away. Starr steadies the gun with both hands and cries this is about her and her family, who meant everything to her. Sonny puts his hands down and asks if she wants justice. Her eyes fill with hate, and she chuckles that she's about to get it. He says he can help find the people who did this, but she has to put the gun down. She petulantly says no. He says she doesn't know how to handle the gun. She says Sonny met her father. He says she's not like him. She whispers that she's Todd Manning's daughter, and she knows what she's doing. She waits a beat and then cocks the gun, and then coughs a little at the rush of adrenaline, terror, and glory she feels at being bananas.

Birds of Paradise: Johnny has Carly's attention and asks why Kate would do this. Johnny tells her that Konnie hates Sonny and fears for her life, so she wants to break up Kate and Sonny. and that the best way to break up Kate and Sonny was to sleep with Johnny. Carly says she'll consider that side of the argument but asks why Johnny was so willing to sleep with Konnie.

Corinthaus: Starr grimaces that she's tired of waking up every morning and missing her family. She cries that she can't stand it. Sonny starts to approach her, but she wags the gun at him and promises to shoot him. He tries again saying he understands about wanting revenge, her father understood too. He says Todd wanted it so bad he killed his own brother. Starr says Todd would have killed Sonny if McBain hadn't walked in.

Maritime Motel: Ronnie and John fight, and Ronnie shoves John out of the room. Anna calls John, and he agrees to meet her. Sam shows up with Cheeztos. John says they aren't good for the baby b/c they glow in the dark. She jokes that the baby loves them. He grabs the bag and leaves, digging his hand in.

Ronnie is not amused by Loo's antics.

Lockup: Dante begs Mulva for help. He says Loo is his world, and he'd never lay a hand on a woman in a violent way (meaning Ronnie has flipped the script and accuse Dante of being the strangler) Mulva says that she said the same thing about Eddie, but Dante didn't believe her. He apologizes and begs again to be released. She knows what Ronnie did to those girls, and if he does the same to Loo, he's not the only one who has to live with that. She's convinced and unlocks the jail. She tells him if he's lying, she will put a bullet in him. He asks for one more favor.

Motel Maritime: Ronnie tightens the gag in Loo's mouth and tells her it's her last warning. She sees her pink phone on the bed.

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MC: Luke and Anna have filled in John, and he's insta-passionate about saving Looloo. Anything to help Anna! He's going to focus on Ronnie, and they are going to the PCPD. John points out that Dante doesn't like him. Luke promises that if John saves his daughter, he doesn't care that John is a vampire/serial killer. Anna and Luke rush off, but first Luke turns back "hey, Lestat? Thanks!" John promises they'll find her. I love when the show winks at us. John pulls up the pic of Ronnie on his phone and realizes he's cartoon guy.

Martime Motel: Loo tries to kick her phone to her while Ronnie dresses. She stops moving when Ronnie emerges, saying he has to do damage control b/c of the jerk who came to the door. He's going to flirt with the front desk chick and smooth it over. Loo blinks that she's nauseated by how hard this sucks. Ronnie shrugs that this can't go on forever and will have to end. He pulls the door open, but the latch is still locked, so he dorks it. He growls at the door, unlocks it and leaves. I would hate to be kidnapped by a buffoon. Ronnie promptly runs into Sam in the hall. She's bought three bags of chips. Also, they are the family size. She asks if he's here b/c of the loser playing the TV too loud. He quickly says that's the ticket, and he took care of it.

Loo kicks the phone closer.

Dante and Mulva find Loo's GPS signal.

Loo gets the phone, but it falls behind the bed. In the struggle to pick it up, she knocks a lamp off the bed.

The crashing of which is heard audibly in the hall. Sam knows this is Cartoon Room. Ronnie says it's nothing, but she says if he's already been called to check out a room, it's weird he's so quick to say it's nothing. Oh, Sam.

Birds of Paradise. Johnny says he wanted to hurt Sonny and make him vulnerable. He turned down Konnie many times because he didn't want to hurt Carly. Carly angrily says that he managed. Johnny talks about Sonny's relentless attacks on him, and it was either kill him or sleep with his girlfriend. Carly says he didn't give a damn what it would do to her.

Corinthaus: Sonny does his impression of empathy and says that he knows what it's like to want to hurt someone. He says Johnny knows this too and is using her. She insists again it's not about Johnny. She says if he shoots him, her life is over. She says her life is already over. It ended that night in a lot of ways. She says she's not shooting him, not here. "You are I are going on a little trip" and then she gulps and gives a sick little smile. She's 1/4 way to asking him to put lotion in a basket.

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Birds of paradise: Johnny says Kate/Konnie mean nothing, they are a means to an end, a way to beat Sonny. His eyes well with tears and he promises what they have is real and asks to make it up to her. Carly says she's done taking a chance. She says she hopes it was worth it, and she leaves.

Johnny gets a call, but he hangs up on whoever it is. Then he opens his gun box and sees it's empty.

Corinthaus: Starr points the gun and Sonny and sends him marching out of the room. Mr. Mad walks in at this point, and hand to God says "the hell? Britney Spears?"

Maritime Motel: Loo has her head on the ground, trying the snag the phone with her ample chin. Team Chin! (Mr. Mad, what kind of shitty job did someone do tying her up?)

hallway: Sam, her idiotic heroism at full tilt, says she'll check on the room if Ronnie won't, and Ronnie grabs her (Mr. Mad: that's a lot of snacks. I explain she's pregnant and needs a drink)

Lociup: Anna and Luke go all the way downstairs to the lock up dungeon and find Mulva. Who bizarrely has been hanging out there for the better part of an hour after letting Dante out. Anna is perplexed that Dante is gone b/c there's been no arraignment or record of release.

Maritime Motel: John approaches Ronnie's room. Dante rushes up and starts yelling, but John shuts him down with the universal symbol for "hey, douchebag, simmer down, we're both trying to get the same guy, but we need the element of surprise, so shhhhhh" John listens at the door, Dante kicks it in, they both rush in. (Mr. Mad: hey buddy, maybe put your finger on the trigger.)

the end

5/2: Sorry for not handling my rape impregnation better...

2012-05-02T19:31:39Z

Sonny leaves another message for Ewan.

Olivia and Liz discuss that Ewan said someone named Konnie hit him.

Carly runs into Konnie at the Metrocourt.

Starr stops by Johnny's to talk about Sonny.

McBain listens in on the bug he left when he was allowed to visit unescorted. and for some reason, no one guessed he had installed a bug, and no one swept the place for them.

Sam sits around playing with the phoenix and dragon. Jason comes in, and she flatly points out he's home and asks if he's here to stay.

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Corinthaus: Michael and Sonny gossip about Kate. Sonny thinks she murdered the cake. (McBain listens in) Sonny tells Michael he and Kate are finished b/c Kate slept with Johnny. This piques John's interest.

Jason's Penthouse: Jason whines that things are complicated, and she told things to someone who had no right to know them. (unlike Liz and Sonny, who Jason apparently thinks have every right to know Sam's business, even though Sam doesn't know they know, and even though he's confided things to them that he hasn't to Sam. But I guess it's different because Jason is a little bit in love with Liz and Sonny?) Sam explains she was terrified, and John was just there. If she could change things, she would, but she can't. All that matters is that he knows now. Jason spits he knows things because Liz said something, not her.

GH: Olivious and Liz gossip about how Kate hasn't been acting like herself. Olivia says it's like Kate is reverting to her high school self.

MC: Konnie acts like Kate and tries to get away from Carly. Carly has to many insults saved up.

Birds of Paradise: Johnny and Starr are oddly plan on making a music career? please, no. Starr needs to know if Johnny is positive that Sonny caused the accident. Johnny says he could say that Sonny has a kinder, gentler side, and he could also tell her that Sonny tried to kill him last night.

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Jason's Penthouse: Sam knew it was Liz that tattled. He angrily asks if she'd ever told him anything if Liz hadn't. Sam admits she doesn't know the answer to that. She's been too worried about the baby, and if Jason would still be there for her when he learned the truth. He angrily concedes he's sorry he's not handling learning about this the way she wants him too, but points out she's known a lot longer than he has, and so has John McBain. She yells for him to forget John, but he says he can't. She doesn't get how it's so wrong for her to talk to a person, but it's okay for Liz to tattle on her, Liz with whom he has all this elaborate history. Jason says that Liz defended her when he talked to her. Sam realizes Jason and Liz talked about more than just seeing John with Sam at the hospital. Sam asks what Jason told Liz. The computer in his brain does some quick math and he realizes that he may have just lost his spot on his self-righteous perch.

GH: Liz and O continue to gossip about Kate, wondering if she's capable of this. Olivia says Kate made a pass at Steve. She also says that Kate slept with Johnny. Liz finds all this surprising (and awesome)

Birds of Paradise: Starr asks what Johnny did to make Sonny come after him. Johnn flashes back to sleeping with Konnie, but tells Starr it was a misunderstanding.

Corinthaus: Michael has an ample amount of jasonicness b/c even hearing that Sonny found Kate and Johnny in bed, he still thinks something else was going on. He says Carly and Johnny are together.

MC: Konnie growls about all the sex she had with the Johnny. Carly pities her for being disgusting. Konnie says that Johnny described Carly as bad in bed. Carly punches Konnie, bam, smash, right in the kisser.

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MC: Carly and Konnie dance around a brawl. Some schmo named Leonard shows up, and they both tell him to beat it. Konnie backs down first and says she's late. Carly shoves Konnie in the back, and then a super boring cat fight ensues. and it ends with Konnie screaming and tackling Carly. oy. and yawn.

Birds of Paradise: Johnny says blah blah there's a code, and he doesn't call the cops. Starr asks again what Johnny was doing, but he doesn't answer. He puts his gun in a little box. Not quite a Box of Pain, like Jason's. It's decorative, but souless. Starr eyes it as the music swells.

Corinthaus: Sonny says Johnny wanted him to find Johnny and Kate together. Kate told him that she was where she wanted to be. Michael is confused that Kate wasn't even sorry. Sonny adds that Kate and Johnny had been sleeping together for months. Sonny says you can't ignore your instincts, she knew something was off with Kate for months. Sonny says Carly walked into the room too.

(McBain murmurs that it couldn't happen to a nicer guy, but it's not what he's looking for. McBain should date Brenda. That would be so much more efficient than whatever his plan is.)

Sonny says Kate went to see a shrink. He says he didn't really know Kate, just the girl she left behind. Michael hugs his wee father. Michael feels bad for Kate b/c Carly is going to kill her.

Metrocourt: Carly and Konnie roll around on the floor. It's. Ri.dic.u.lous. Some dude finally breaks it up. Konnie tries to stuff her papers back in her bag, but Carly picks up a paper. It's apparently on Ewan's letterhead b/c Carly mentions she knew Kate was seeing a shrink.

GH: gossip continues. They muse that Ewan was going to have Kate committed. Liz agrees to go through Ewan's files and see if she can find anything on Kate.

MC: Carly reads about D.I.D and asks what the hell that is.

Jason's Penthouse: Sam asks Jason again if Jason told Liz intimate details of their life. She says he hates that she talked to McBain, and she hates that he talked to Liz. But they aren't the problem. He doesn't want to hear her say that she's carrying Franco's baby. She says he can't even look at her, it's like she's tainted. He says that's not how she sees her. She asks how he feels about the baby. She needs answers; their whole life depends on it. "Will you or will you not be able to love this child as if it was your own?"

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Jason's Penthouse: he says he knows she wants him to promise to love the baby, but it's too soon, he doesn't know. Sh asks when will he know "when I'm in labor? when the baby is 2 weeks old, or 2 months old?" She says the baby deserves two parents, she asks if he can love our child. He says that it's not "ours". He says it's not her fault, but he can't pretend that Franco's not a part of this. She says they've made their own way, their own rules, and the baby needs his love and protection. She begs him to tell her he can give all that. He tearfully says he can't.

MC: Konnie grabs the letter. Carly promises she'll find out what it means. Konnie threatens her to back off.

GH: Liz and Olivia are still gossiping and not doing anything about Kate. Liz thinks they need to get Kate help, and O says they have to find her first.

Corinthaus: Michael and Sonny talk about the gift McBain left. Sonny has apparently not looked at it all this time. Though, "all this time" has apparently been 8 hours, and Sonny was drunk for most of that. Michael says he remembers Max said McBain left a newspaper article in a frame for Sonny. Sonny repeats John's name.

Jason's Penthouse: Jason takes Sam's hands and says he wants to love the baby, but it's not that easy. She says it was that easy with Michael. Jason says AJ and Franco aren't equivalent. He worries he'll only see rapepregnation every time he sees the baby's face. She says she worries the same thing, but she can't walk away. He asks what they are going to do. She says "not we, you" He says it's not fair. She cries that it's not. This baby didn't ask to be conceived. Jason says he doesn't have an answer yet. She cries and says he needs time to decide. She thinks it's best she move out in the meantime. Aw, does this mean we get to see Gym Bag again?

Commercials

MC: Carly throws Kate out. of her own hotel? Carly asks Konnie to tell Johnny that he deserves her.

GH: Olivia and Liz continue to try to figure out Kate. She says Johnny is the reason Steve was arrested. Liz still doesn't know the story of Memphis. Olivia summarizes that Steve got himself in trouble, and Johnny made it worse.

Birds of Paradise: Starr talks about the blankness of her future, that being so young just means more decades without her family. He wants her to focus on music instead of Sonny. She asks if he could just walk away, and he concedes he couldn't. He gets a call, and Starr disappears.

Corinthaus: Sonny tells Michael that McBain blames Sonny for a person's death, but McBain has incorrect info, and he wasn't responsible. Like Starr.

Jason's Penthouse: In the past half decade, Sam has ended up with two suitcases full of stuff. No gym bag. :^( Jason says he should leave. She cries that she can't stay here and see everything that reminds her of him and the family they were going to have. He asks where she's going. She's not going to the lake house and will call him when she finds a place. She picks up the phoenix and muses they are supposed to be stronger together. She still believes that. He asks then why is she leaving. She tells him she needs him to believe it too. She goes to the door, tells him she loves him, and leaves him to cry. After she closes the door, he says he loves her too.

Commercials: Sonny throws away the framed article and tells Michael to forget it. Michael hasn't heard from Starr, thinks she might be in LA.

Crappy Motel Room: Sonny and Michael's conversation is done, so McBain gets up to go. Natalie calls. He proceeds out into the hall, still on the phone, and we hear a suitcase rolling down the hall. It should surprise exactly 0.000 people that Sam is staying at Crappy Motel.

Jason's Penthouse: Jason cries and holds the dragon, or the phoenix, they look the same from here. He flashes back to the day he and Sam gave them to each other for Christmas. I guess they gave each other these before they got married?

GH: Olivia oddly says that Sonny dodged a bullet if Kate is crazy.

MC: two cops walk through the lobby, loudly talking about how maybe a lady whacked her shrink. Konnie overhears this, seeing as how she has ears, and she runs away as soon as they get in the elevator.

Birds of Paradise: Carly visits Johnny.

Corinthaus: Starr stole Johnny's gun, and she visits Sonny

the end

GH 5/1: Mayday, mayday

2012-05-01T19:14:07Z

As we begin the day:

Dante can't find Loo, Luke told him that Loo thinks Ronnie is the Stripper Strangler, Dante harangues Ronnie to tell him where Loo is. Ronnie plays dumb. which is pretty easy. Dante accuses Ronnie of obstructing the case, and that Ronnie planted the evidence in Mulva's apartment.   Ronnie passionately says they've known each other their whole lives. Ronnie has answers for all of Dante's accusations. He turns it around on Dante and says he's not writing Dante up with IA. Dante grabs him by the collar and demands to know where Looloo is. A confused cop stops by and Ronnie immediately turns it around on Dante and says he accused Dante of being a dirty cop and tries to make it look like Ronnie has been investigating Dante. The cop checks Ronnie's desk and finds some boots and photos of the boot tread. It's all very circumstantial, but the cop draws his gun and tells Dante to stand down. The cops leave Dante cuffed to a desk, and Ronnie taunts Dante. Dante dry weeps that he'll rip Ronnie to pieces if he hurts Loo. Ronnie leaves, and Dante damn near breaks his wrist off trying to escape. Luke and Anna show up and Dante begs them to find Loo.

Luke finds Heather waiting for him. He wants to find Looloo, but Heather wants to talk like a crazy person about Steven Lars. She has Luke's gun. Luke asks her not to do anything crazy. Don't call Heather "crazy." She insists that Luke has to help her save Steven Lars. Luke talks to Heather like she's a mental patient and thinks they should let Audrey, Liz and Olivia help him, and she stays in Port Charles and call the shots. Heather calms down, and Luke gently begs for his gun back so he can go find Looloo. She gives him the gun. She eagerly asks if this means they are friends again. Luke lies that they always were. He sends Heather back to Steve's apartment b/c he's sure Olivia will have good news.

Luke fills in Anna that Loo suspects Ronnie, and now she's missing.

Ewan and Kate planned to check her into Shadybrook, and Ewan tried to call Sonny to tell him about the many faces of Kate, but Konnie came out and knocked Ewan unconscious. Liz just found him, so she and Dr. Teeth are trying to revive him.   Later, Lisa finds the paper weight that someone used to knock him out.   Heather shows up to be insane all over the place and tell Liz that Steven Lars was arrested. Liz checks on Ewan, which angers Heather. Maggie opens her giant trap, and HEather remembers hearing Olivia tell Dante that Maggie knew about Memphis.

Matt talks to Alexis and starts to remember his drunken night on the Lisatania., but it's all mostly a blur.

Anna and Mac gossiped about Felicia and what a crappy mom she was, and then, "poof" she appears, squeaky voice and all. Anna is happy to see her, but Mac is understandably perturbed. She insists on seeing Maxie, but Mac physically detains her. He insists he's the one who stayed and raised Maxie and Georgie. "you can't just come back here and pick up where you left off." I applaud, but stupid Flea asks if this is about protecting Maxie or punishing Flea. Flea's stupid story is that she decided it was better to leave her children with a good man who would raise them, than for them to have to see her be miserable in her life. what an a-hole. No offense, to rectums!

Spinelli tells Maxie (all alone, by themselves in a court room, even though she's plead guilty to murder) that he thinks Matt killed Lisa, and Maxie admits that she saw Matt kill Maxie, but she doesn't want Spinelli to say anything. She insists Matt only killed Lisa b/c he was drunk, and he was only drunk because she was a crappy girlfriend. Also, she thinks Patrick and Emma need Matt, so he can't go to prison. She argues that Matt's life means more than hers because he can save lives. Spinelli tells her that he and her family love her. She begs him to keep the secret, that it's the last thing she'll ever ask. She sobs that she already took Patrick's wife. She can't also take his brother. Spinelli says it's not up to them. Matt strolls into the Unrealistically Empty and Unguarded Courtroom.

Before Spinelli can spill the beans, Flea shows up to speak in soothing tones to Maxie. Maxie is repulsed to see her. Court is called to session. Alexis makes one more attempt, but the judge isn't hearing it. Before he can sentence Maxie, Spinelli jumps up and tells them to stop.

Konnie rushes to empty Kate's safe of super fake looking wads of cash, and Olivia shows up, needing help to hire a lawyer for Steve. Konnie says she doesn't have the money, even though she clearly has comical wads of cash. Konnie continues to put bricks of cash in her bag and says she can't use her credit cards and is going on a trip. Oblivious comments that Kate's clothes and hair is like what she wore in high school. Olivia keeps asking what is up. Konnie says the truth is that Sonny dumped her after he walked in on her in bed with Johnny. Olivia is surprised by how much Kate doesn't care about any of this. Konnie says they are family. She ruffles through a brick of cash and hands Olivia a dollar to go buy herself a clue. It was one step too far because Olivious tells Konnie that she's not going anywhere.

Tuesday's show:

Carly answers a call from Johnny. She tells him to go to hell and hangs up. She knocks on Jason's door. Sam tells her Jason isn't there and starts to close the door, but Carly bangs it open.

Corinthaus: Sonny sits in the dark. Jason stops by, and Sonny tells him that Kate slept with Johnny.

Crimson: Olivia says that her cousin would never turn her away or insult her like this, so tell her the truth. Olivia asks what is wrong with her, and Johnny saunters in saying he can answer.

GH: Ewan comes to and tells Liz that Konnie did this. She asks who Konnie is, but he doesn't answer.

Courtroom: Spinelli ignores Maxie's pleading eyes and says he has information that will change everything.

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Nurse's Station: Heather acts all twitchy and scares Maggie away. Random Doctor loudly tells Random Nurse "These are dangerous pills that can easily kill someone, so be sure to explain that, and be sure to let them out of your sight in front of escaped mental patients, and be sure not to report it when they go missing." Heather's eyebrows: duly noted.

Liz asks Ewan if Konnie is a patient.

Crimson: Konnie tells Johnny to beat it. Olivia wants to hear what's up. Johnny sarcastically apologizes for not being what Olivia wanted him to be. She lambasts him for ruining Steve's life. Johnny doesn't give a. It's weird. Why does he hate Olivia now? Olivia wads up the dollar and throws it at Konnie and says she's done with her. Konnie wonders what Olivia was babbling about. Johnny regrets losing the one thing he cared about. oh, what the bleep ever. He can be cruel to Olivia, but I'm supposed to believe that he really, truly cared about Carly after 15 minutes? shut up, show.

Corinthaus: Jason jasonically knows that it doesn't make sense that Kate would sleep with Johnny. I like that Jason can know that Sonny walked in and saw fornication, but that's not sufficient evidence. which? it turns out that indeed it's not.

Courtroom: Spinelli blathers that Maxie isn't guilty.

Commercials

Courtroom: Spinelli unrealistically saunters around the court room. He's very lovely, though. He reminds me why I like the guy sometimes. He says someone else killed Lisa, but then he flashes back to Maxie tearfully begging him to keep the secret that Matt killed Lisa. He relents and lets Maxie ruin her life. At least he didn't confess instead. I was worried he's that big of a schmuck.

Corinthaus: Jason thinks something else is going on with Kate. He says Spin found out stuff about Kate's psychiatrist wanting to have Kate committed. Sonny says this contradicts what Kate said. Jason's t-shirt has seen all of this, and it already has diagnosed Kate with D.I.D., but Jason has been distracted, so he just has to listen to Sonny sputter some words for a bit.

Jason's Penthouse( I know I should call this the Morgan Residence, but I'm not sure that's going to stick, so I'm sticking with what I know) Carly and Sam have kind of a funny little scene in which Carly confides to Sam about finding Johnny with Kate and falling in love with him. Sam is suprisingly awesome about it. Sam apparently loves having charming scenes with everyone but her husband.

Crimson: Johnny says he wants to talk to Kate. Konnie says she ain't home. Johnny knows that Kate was going to speak to Ewan. Konnie says there was a change of plans. I love Konnie. It's so weird. Kate is just the worst, but Konnie is a delight. I wish she would kill more people.

GH: speaking of which: Ewan keeps saying Konnie's name, and then he flat lines.

Heather asks Maggie to see her home. Poor Maggie is as dumb as she is toothy. Heather grabs the Murder Pills and follows Maggie to her doom. Meaning Maggies doom. I assume Heather outlives all of these idiots.

Commercials

GH: Oh, Ewan just passed out, no crash cart required. Olivia finds Liz and is freaked to learn that Heather is out and about fraternizing. Olivia calls Steve's apartment, Heather answers and assures her she's home and safe.

Steve's apartment: Heather says she wants to make nice with Maggie and offers to make some tea. and since it's a hot day, she suggests it should be iced. Heather pats the Murder Pills.

Crimson: Konnie insists that Sonny will never take Kate back.

Corinthaus: Sonny mutters and babbles and says he begged Kate for the truth, but all she did was lie. He grunts that this makes him feel bad. Jason says he understands. Sonny asks Jason how he is. Jason says he and Sam are going through some things. He doesn't want to talk, but Sonny insists. Sonny is kind of sweet about it and cries a little bit that Jason and Sam have to make it work because they have a kid coming. I get confused when Sonny is suddenly human and normal. Jason blurs that the baby's not his. Yes, jackass, THAT'S the worst part. Not that your wife was raped and impregnated against her will. The shitty part is that the baby isn't yours. Which is a perfectly reasonable thing to be very upset by, but it's not all that heroic, so he pretends to be upset about Sam's Emotional Friend as the biggest deal. But the big deal is that the Wolf Man knocked up your wife, and you're a punk as bitch who wants to bail now and get a fresh wife. I see you, Jason Morgan.

Jason's Penthouse. Sam apologizes that it's none of her business. Carly angrily gets up to leave and says that maybe she does love Johnny. Sam opens her arms wide and without judgement says stranger things have happened 'round here. Carly can't leave though because the poor woman has needed some solid girlfriend talk for roughly two decades, or I guess since whenever she and Olivia broke up. Carly says it's her anniversary to Jax. Carly had decided to finalize her divorce, and she was going to tell Johnny this when she walked in on him... Sam's heart breaks for Carly. Carly sits down and says it was unreal. Carly laughs at herself for confiding in Sam, and she does so in a very endearing, Teri Garr kind of way. Sam sits down and with faux wisdom paraphrases something John said to her about sometimes we find comfort in odd places. Carly, who was just totally into Sam's kindness, stiffens and asks why it suddenly feels like they are talking about Sam. awesome. I loved that scene.

Courtroom: Judge is all aaaannnnyyyy way.... But then Flea jumps up. Judge tries to explain that there are rules and stuff. Flea says she wasn't here for anything. She only set the example to run away when life got painful. Flea insists she should go to prison instead. Judge is like , look, people, this is all very nice, but this is not how this works. He politely opens it up for anyone else to interrupt, and then proceeds.

Commercials

courtroom: Judge explains that no one really cares that she killed Lisa, but it was wrong to also kill Girligan. She's sentenced to 20 years without parole. She takes it like a champ. Like a bug eyed champ.

Steve's apartment: Maggie sits around, big ol' dummy, totally unafraid of the crazy lady. Heather pours murder pills into Maggie's drink. Magge slurps at her iced tea. (Mr. Mad was totally in love with the storyline that Heather dosed herself with LSD back in the day. He kept not believing me at first.)

GH: Liz can't figure out how Steve was arrested for murder. She also tells Olviia that a woman attacked Ewan last night.

Crimson: Johnny whines that Carly is hurt. Still don't get why they had to actually fornicate. Couldn't they just get caught nekkid in bed. Konnie is all, well, if you're not horny, I'm outy. She grabs her bag of money, but Johny says she's not going anywhere.

Jason's Penthouse: Carly asks what Sam meant by talking to the wrong person. Sam gazes at the phonix and dragon on the mantle and murmurs that they were supposed to be strong. Carly can see that Sam is in agony and realizes Jason isn't gone because he's working. Sam goes to gaze out the window saying she doesn't need to talk. Carly won't let her off the hook. She says it can't be that bad. Carly seems to genuinely give a fig. Carly says it can't be as bad as her thing, "It's not like you slept with another man." Sam's beautiful face doesn't flinch, but her eyes flicker.

Corinthaus: Sonny says that obviously Sam didn't cheat on him. Jason softly says that she didn't. He admits that Franco raped Sam. Sonny calls him a sick freak. Jason says that Sam talked to McBain and keeps running into him and confiding in him. Sonny says he's working her. Sonny says he's sorry, and he'd hate to be in this situation. He trusts Jason and Sam can work through this. Jason isn't sure.

Commercials

Courtroom: Matt yells that Maxie has to tell the judge the truth. Maxie says it's for the best. Flea cries to Mac to fix this. Spinelli sits there. Maxie clamps her mouth shut.

Steve's apartment: Maggies finishes 3/4 of her tea, stands to go, and then gets dizzy and sits. Heather starts reading the newspaper about how Maxie faked a suicide to make it look like someone else committed the crime. Maggie sits back and wonders what is wrong with her. Heather picks up the bottle of Murder Pills and Maggie asks what Heather did. Maggie konks out, and Heather says "you really shouldn't have called me crazy."

Crimson: Konnie and Johnny continue to bicker. Konnie says Johnny is afraid she'll go to the cops and say he forced her. She says he didn't take advantage of her. Johnny says he took advantage of Kate.

Corinthaus: Jason tells Sonny about being locked in the room with the video monitor. He punches the table and says it was all leading up to this, to do this to him and Sam. Jason asks what if he only sees Franco when the baby is born. It's not fair to the baby or Sam. Sonny has no answers. Jason is all "obviously." Sonny asks if Jason needs anything from him. Jason wants to find something to use against McBain, so he's not hanging around all the time. Sonny points out that the head writer has a massive hard on for McBain, so it's going to be really difficult to get rid of him. Sonny tells Jason not to let him turn Sam into a vampire.

Jason's Penthouse: Carly thought Jason would dump Sam after Sam lied to him about Robin. Sam mutters that Carly must be disappointed and says Carly has no idea. Carly agrees. Sam said she did everything because she loves Jason and doesn't want him to hurt and feel as bad as she was feeling. "But I made everything worse, and now I don't know what to do b/c I think I've lost him." Carly sits down and is certain that Sam isn't going to lose Jason. Jason isn't like Johnny, and he's true and good. Carly pouts about Johnny, and Sam tearfully says that Carly will be fine "no one can take down Carly Jax." Carly smiles that Sam is pretty strong too. Suddenly Carly stiffens. Sam asks what's wrong. Carly says she thinks they just had a girlfriend moment. They both turn away from each other and awkwardly stare ahead.

I don't want this show to be OLTL, but one of my favorite things was always the female bonds, particularly among frenemies. It adds comic relief and charm to the show.

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Steve's apartment: Heather cleans up the glasses, while Maggie lies prostrate on the couch. Heather says that everyone will know that Steven Lars didn't kill the patient in Memphis, Maggie did.

Jason's Penthouse: Carly and Sam still can't make eye contact.
Carly: Can we just never speak of this again and go back to hating each other?
Sam: Please. I've already started.

They stand in unison. Carly says she's leaving and says when Jason gets back.... Sam's sad face stops her,a nd Carly chipperly says that Jason will be back. Carly throws her hand out casually and says they'll be fine. She turns to go, and Sam calls to her and thanks her, her eyes glistening with tears. Carly manages a bona fide sweet smile and echoes "you too." She gets freaked out again and grabs the doorknob behind her back and slips out.

Corinthaus: Sonny offers to send Jason to the Island. Jason thinks maybe Kate wasn't in her right mind. Sonny says Ewan called last night, but he didn't answer. Jason leaves. Sonny listens to his message. Ewan says he must urgently speak to Sonny, but he sounds like someone konked him on the head with a paperweight. He calls Ewan, but he gets voice mail.

GH: Ewan lies unconscious while his phone rings next to him.

Crimson: Konnie tells Johnny that as of now, he's clear, but if he doesn't leave now, she'll cry rape and stick to it. Johnny leaves.

GH: Liz tells Olivia that Ewan called out the name Konnie.

Crimson: Konnie leaves and salutes the magazine before getting on the elevator.

Courtroom: Matt begs Maxie to tell the truth. Spinelli bites his fist. Everyone sobs. Flea begs to go to prison. Spinelli tells her he didn't tell the truth because he loves her. He swears he won't give up.

um, the hell? what is there to do differently? you know who did it.   weird.

GH 4/25: Up on the Rooftops

2012-04-25T23:48:51Z

If you could be so kind, please donate to The American Cancer Society for my upcoming Relay for Life Here

Johnny calls Kate "Konnie", and Carly asks why he'd do that. Konnie covers that it's Johnny's pet name for her. Carly says Kate drew a road map for her, but she was too busy believing in Johnny. Johnny says he can explain.

GH Rooftop: Jason rushes out onto the roof with Liz close at his heels. He laments that Sam has been lying to him about McBain.

Meanwhile, on the Metrocourt rooftop: Sam scoffs that she asked for a sign, and all she got was John McBain. He tells her he hopes things work out for her baby and Jason.

Spinelli stands outside a movie theater showing The Avengers and idiotically begs the movie poster to guide him. (spinelli thinks that maybe Matt killed Lisa Niles afterall). Matt shows up with Cameron at this moment.

Heather tells Olivia and Dante that the cops just arrested Steven for murder. Olivia slaps Heather and tells her to snap out of her latest crazy tirade. Olivia apologizes and tells Heather that she needs a nap. Heather obliges but demands to be kept in the loop. Olivia asks if Dante can help Steve.

Konnie continues to try to goad Johnny. Johnny begs Carly to listen to him. Carly stops herself from saying she loved him, and then she beats herself up for defending him to everyone. She calls herself pathetic and delusional. He swears she means something to him. She cries that if he did, he'd have kept his hands off that skank.

Sonny sits and drinks and remembers a montage of moments with Kate. (buying a tie for him to expand his sartorial horizons, surprising him with his old B-hurst apartment decorated for Christmas). Sonny goes upstairs.

John says he stopped by to attend Sonny's birthday party. SHe says Jason was devastated to find out that Franco is his twin and the baby's father. She says he asked why she went through it alone. She says, of course, that she wasn't alone. Nope, sister, you were emotionally cheating on your husband with the most intimate secrets.

GH Rooftop: Jason laments that he was sad that Sam went through all of this alone, but she didn't. He tells Liz that Sam didn't tell her she got the DNA sample from a fed. Liz asks why Sam would need a DNA sample.   With the vast number of DNA tests Liz has needed in her short life, it's very endearing to me that she still has enough positive feelings about Sam to not automatically assume that Sam had been sleeping with brothers.

MC Rooftop: Sam says she knows it's a lot for Jason to absorb. She asked him if he'd be able to love another man's baby. John reminds her that she just said he's known for 3 minutes and to give him time. John says the best part of her baby is her, and in time Jason will know that. She says that he's saying all the things she wants Jason to say. He says it's funny sometimes who brings us comfort. Sam continues to be annoyed that Jason didn't insta-accept such gigantic news.

GH Rooftop: Jason tearfully tells Liz that the baby isn't his.

Avengers: Matt and Cam high five about their advance screening tickets. Cam's favorite is the Hulk. Matt loves Iron Man. Spinelli mocks that Matt loves the shallowest super hero. Spinelli blathers about needing intelligence to unmask a villain in disguise. Matt asks what that's supposed to mean.

Olivia and Dante talk about Steve. Dante wants to know why the Memphis PD came all the way up here. He asks if Steve klled someone in Memphis. She says he didn't, but then she says he kind of did.

Carly continues to tell Johnny she trusted him. She talks about the night she found his shirt with Kate's shade of lipstick on it, and that she'd laughed at herself for being paranoid. She yells that they've been sleeping together for months. Johnny's doltish response: Just to get back at Sonny. Carly: that's the same reason you were sleeping with me. She finally musters the dignity to leave.
Konnie celebrates that they finally broke up Kate and Sonny.

Sonny burns some papers, blueprints for that dopey restaurant he and Kate discussed opening.

Commercials

Olivia explains about the prison inmate on life support who died, and Steve used his heart to save a patient of Maggie's.   Olivia says there was an investigation. Dante asked if Steve killed his patient. She asks to finish and says it was all over until Johnny went down there and stirred things up. Heather listens from around the door, because OF COURSE she does. Dante and Olivia are kind of dumb.

MC Rooftop: Sam says Jason was furious when she told him she opened up to John at the church. John sarcastically says that next time he'll leave her there crying. John, this is one of the last soaps around. Unless you two end up as vampires in Genoa City, there won't be any next times.   Sam says "after I left the apartment, he was like, 'I want you to tell me every time you run into this guy.' " She says she can't count how many times she's run into him all over town. John says they only arranged to meet at the hospital to hand off DNA evidence. She says it's all the other coincidences that Jason won't understand. Also, she doesn't know how to explain how helpful John has been emotionally.

GH Rooftop: Jason has already told Liz about Hawaii. Liz sadly says Sam must have taken a shower, just wanting to get clean, her eyes full of dark regret of her personal knowledge of this need. She's glad Jason told her b/c now she understands what Jason and Sam have suffered. Liz says this is the baby Jason and Sam have wanted, and he can still be the father. She asks him if he knows that. He looks at her sadly and a bit embarrassed and says he's not sure he does.

MC Rooftop: John reasons that Sam always planned to tell Jason the truth, and she only opened up to him because he happened to be there, and how else would she have gotten Franco's DNA. She thanks him for that. He's sorry for the problems he's caused. Sam says she and Jason are dealing with the baby, and that John isn't an issue.

GH Rooftop: Jason says maybe he's a better man than he thinks, and he can be a father to Sam's baby. Liz has no doubts and points out his relationship with Michael. Jason says that was different; he didn't know anything about being a father, and Michael was just there and needed him. Liz gently points out that this baby will need him too. Jason says he and Sam should be working this out together, but she's confiding in McBain, and that's the problem.

Corinthaus: Sonny continues to burn photos and and various Kate-related items, while Piano Guy plays sadly. Carly shows up.

Johnny throws Konnie out. She wants to keep doing it. He says he only did this to hurt Sonny. She says he seemed like he was enjoying himself. Why did they have to actually sleep together? Johnny angrily tells her it's done, and Kate comes out. She jumps up and leans against the wall, staring at the recently used bed, and cries annoyingly. Johnny asks if she's Kate. Also, it's not upsetting to me that Johnny cheated on Carly because who cares about that nitwit? It's gross to me that he took advantage of a seriously ill person. gross. Every bit as gross as anything Sonny ever did.

Commercials

Corinthaus: Carly pours herself a drink and talks about his birthday present from Kate and Johnny. Carly says she lured Sonny back just to screw Sonny over. He says she wasn't in bed alone. Carly says Kate threw herself at Johnny, what was he supposed to do, he's a man. If she's saying that to defend Johnny, she's dreadful. If she finally just hates all men, I dig it. (Not that I think all men are awful, but I've never been able to figure out why Carly doesn't.)

Kate sobs and cries all over the place and falls to her knees, begging Johnny to tell her that Konnie didn't sleep with him. Johnny gently says he can't say that. gross.

Dante berates Olivia for being involved in a boring murder cover up. Olivia insists that Steve is a good man and only did what he felt he had to do. Heather listens to Olivia say that Steve may be put away for murder.

Spin sends Cameron away alone in a city movie theater. Safe! Matt insists that he didn't kill Lisa and block it out, so apparently Spin and Matt have discussed this theater. Oh, wait, maybe Spinelli thinks Patrick killed Lisa. or maybe Matt thinks Spinelli thinks that? This is a little exhausting because I was perfectly happy adoring Lisa Niles before she got cartoonish and annoying, but now that she's gone, I don't care to keep rehashing her murder on the Lisatania. Okay, yeah, so Matt thinks Spinelli thinks that Patrick killed Lisa, and Spinelli tries to guide Matt into realizing that maybe he killed Lisa. Cam shows up to say they can get seats now. Matt tells Spin to find another suspect besides Patrick. Spinelli walks away and talks to himself in public like a crazy person. or a bluetooth person.

GH Rooftop: Jason says that Sam keeps telling McBain everything. Liz says sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger. Jason says Sam asked for DNA before she even told Jason there was a problem. Liz says maybe Sam was trying to protect Jason, but he says it's still a lie. HE wonders if he hadn't shown up at the hospital, if McBain wouldn't have been with her for the DNA test, and maybe that's what she wanted. Liz says Jason can't know that. He says he doesn't know anything because Sam's not telling him anything. She's telling another man. valid. Show, I hate it when you make me take Jason's side.

MC Rooftop: Sam asks whenever she has bad news, she turns around, and he's there. (he looks off the roof as if he might consider jumping, or, you know, turning into a bat and whisking her off to his villa) He suggests fate, or maybe he has good timing. She says he can joke, but the universe if throwing them together for some reason. He says he doesn't know. She says he has to agree it's weird. He agrees it's unexpected. She asks if he's crazy, or if he also feels like they knew each other before. He smiles and says she's not crazy.

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Dante tells Olivia that Steve is in custody in Memphis. He tells her to talk to Alexis. She asks him to intercede with the Memphis PD. Dante tells Olivia to stay here and babysit Heather. Heather has other plans.

GH Rooftop: Jason says Sam tried to play it off like it was no big deal when Sam saw McBain at the lakehouse. He realizes that's when she asked him about finding DNA. Liz says Jason probably shouldn't be talking to her. She says she's always there for him, but Sam is the person she needs to be talking about all of this with. Jason muses that she's probably still at the Metrocourt. Well, unless she walked her varying pregnant self home on 6 inch heels.

MC Rooftop: Sam says they are obviously on some sort of collision course. She asks him why he's still in Port Charles. He says he has another manner to attend to, but his clearance for investigating has a time limit. She casually asks if he's leaving. He says whatever their connection is, it will be broken when his business with Sonny is finished. So. never. You're saying that you're never leaving.

Corinthaus: Sonny says Johnny did this to get to Sonny. Carly scoffs that Kate said that Kate and Johnny were into each other. They both fight that neither Kate or Johnny are the people they wanted them to be.

Kate sobs and yells at Johnny for taking advantage. He says if he didn't go along with Konnie, she'd have slept with someone else for Sonny to see. Kate sobs in misery at the news that Sonny saw. Johnny tells her that Sonny said Kate is out of his life. He says his life was ruined too b/c Carly also walked in on them. He says Konnie ruined both of their lives. um, no, dummy. Konnie may have ruined Kate's life, but you put yourself into this nightmare.

Corinthaus: Carly and Sonny bicker some more about it not mattering if Johnny or Kate are responsible. They gulp at a half pint of booze and Carly asks what they are going to do about it? Um, get drunk and make a baby? that's usually what you two idiots do right about now.

Mr. Mad: That's what I love about soaps. They are bastions of bad decision making.

the end

GH 4/24: Another Endless, Boring Party Drags on....

2012-04-24T19:26:47Z

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These people throw the most boring parties. Sometimes they throw the awesome kind where everyone dresses in drag and someone gets killed, but this party is super boring.

Sam makes small talk with Michael and tries not to confide in any more of Jason's enemies about her baby.

Sonny arrives at Johnny's apartment to find clothes strewn all over the place. He hears Kate call out, so he runs upstairs, only to find Johnny in bed with Konnie, or maybe she's Kate and will accuse Johnny of raping her.

Ewan continues to leave messages for Kate, perturbed that she didn't show up at Shadybrook.

McBain stops by Corinhaus to bring a birthday gift for Sonny. Max only opens the door a sliver and is smart enough not to invite him in.

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Liz asks Ewan if everything is okay. He says he's worried about a patient that didn't show up.

Sonny glares at Johnny, who has casually gloats. Sonny claims that Johnny must have drugged her. Don't know if the blond is Kate or Konnie. She seems to be taking this very well if she's Kate, but she seems particularly freaked out if she's Konnie. Maybe she's someone new?

Carly's hair is still stupid. Carly and Michael gossip about whether or not her boyfriend framed Sonny. They both wonder where Kate and Sonny are. MIchael goes to "check on them" and by that, I guess he's just going to randomly open every door in the town until he finds them?

Carly snots to Sam that Jason forgave Sam for controlling information about Robin. Sam reminds Carly that they hate talking to each other. Carly wonders who the heck Sam does ever talk to about anything.

Alexis and Jason chat, and Alexis slips that she saw Sam talking to McBain. Jason asks for details, but Alexis, realizing she's spoken out of turn, tells Jason to go to the source.

Max opens McBain's gift. (John can only watch from the doorway b/c of his vampire curse) We don't see the gift, but John is clearly very satisfied with himself about it.

We don't get to see how many doors Michael opens before he wanders into the room with the murdered cake. He almost slips on cake entrails. "holy crap" he reasonably utters.

Sonny growls and cries and says Johnny won't live after what he did to Kate. Sonny starts to to guide her away, but Konni brightly says that she's right where she wants to be.

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Konnie tells Sonny that she's sorry, she's been having an affair with Johnny for months, she's discussed it with her psychiatrist. Johnny amicably goes along with all of this while Sonny turns orange and makes grunting, snorting sounds.

Carly goads Sam some more about how secrets and lies always ruin everything. Jason walks up and Carly says she thinks Sam has something to tell him. Jason wants to know about her meetings with John McBain.

The gift for Sonny turns out to be a newspaper article from back when Sonny was excessively handsome. This is the article that John moons over whenever he thinks of the sister (that he never once, a single time mentioned, at all) for whose death he blames Sonny. That was a poorly executed sentence, but I'm too lazy to try again. John blames Sonny for Sister McBain's death, and he framed an article about it and gave it to Max.

Michael tells Carly that he found the disemboweled cake. Carly couldn't care less. She leaves to go see Johnny. Where, that big smile is to surely be wiped clean.

Johnny gloats some more. Konnie cries that Sonny should just leave. Johnny keeps goading Sonny. Konnie tries to stop Johnny because she's afraid of Sonny. Johnny goes on and on about how he's touched Kate over and over again. Sonny pulls out his gun and shoots them both dead.

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no, of course he didn't shoot anyone. Of course he stands there shaking and ridiculous for the next 2 days until Carly shows up and talks him out of murdering people. again.

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Back at the Sparsely populated party: Sam tells Alexis she stopped by the Lakehouse,. but Alexis had to leave, and McBain showed up in the meantime. Sam lies that McBain was dropping off files. What is wrong with her? Why can't she stop lying? It's annoying already.

Corinthaus: McBain and Max and have a sarcastic-off, and then McBain lets himself in to look around. Apparently a federal warrant. Ewan stops by, desperate to find Kate.

Konnie gets up and pleads with Sonny not to shoot. She blah blah's about how he's a good father. He says he only has to decide who to shoot first.

Carly stops by and finds the clothes all over the living room. She hears to gunshots upstairs.

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Max throws Ewan out. John leaves. There was some boring chit chat in between.

Sam thinks that it's no big deal to chat with John. Which? that is actually valid to have a brief conversation with any human being and not feel like you have to tell your husband. But that isn't even vaguely close to accurate. She's just lying, and she's telling lies to make him feel like he's wrong to be annoyed by her lies, which is an even shittier type of lie. Michael and Jason suddenly take off to solve the Cake Murder. Alexis wonders why Jason leaves his pregnant wife. She asks what is going on between the two of them.

Carly runs upstairs and finds Sonny outside the bedroom. Carly sees the gun and asks what he did. Sonny leaves without a word, and Carly runs into the bedroom. Where she finds Konnie and Johnny still under the covers. Johnny looks horrified, and Konnie snuggles her cheek on Johnny's shoulder.

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Sam yells at Alexis for telling Jason that she was confiding in McBain. Alexis says that the way this works is, you have to let someone know which things are lies and which things are truth. Sam apologizes and says things are complicated.

Max tells Jason that McBain came by with a warrant from the FBI. Jason jasonically recalls that Sam used the old "contact with the FBI" trick to get the paternity results on Baby Francopillow. Jason is pissed that Max let McBain wander around the house alone. Seriously, why wouldn't Max be fired for that? Max whines that Ewan showed up asking about Kate, so he couldn't escort McBain. Jason would have normally figured out that this means that Kate has a split personality, but since he's recovering from multiple brain surgeries, it will be 8 more minutes.

Johnny tries to 'splain, but he's got nothing. Konnie marvels at how scary it was when Sonny had that gun, even though she knew Sonny wouldn't shoot her. Carly is not amused.

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Alexis decides to go somewhere that only sells chocolate. Sam decides to hang around this dreadful party and wait to see if Jason comes back. Gee, wonder if she'll run into McBain first. Michael comes back, and Alexis asks if he knows if Jason is coming back to the party, seeing as ho he left his wife without a ride home. Michael tells her about how McBain had free reign over Corinthaus for a few minutes. Alexis comments about Sam talking to McBain, which seems to have upset Jason. Michael mutters "you don't talk to the cops." Alexis gulps that it's nice that Michael has such an extensive education on the 5th amendment. Heh. Alexis thinks Sam will run, not walk, in the opposite direction, the next time she sees McBain.

Jason runs into Liz at GH and shows Liz a photo of McBain and asks if he was who Sam was talking to the other day (when Jason ran into Liz, the day McBain gave Sam the vial of Franco's DNA)

Sam talks to Francobabypillow and talks about the stars in the sky and feeling safe. She flashes back to some conversation they once had about how they feel happy and safe and at home with each other. In the present, she begs the stars to tell her she's not going to lose Jason. She hears footsteps, and turns to see....do I need to type it?

Max tells Sonny that a bunch of stuff happened tonight, but Sonny catches a bottle of Scotch and gets down to some thorough drinking.

Johnny tells Carly that Sonny pushed him, so Johnny pushed back, but Carly was never supposed to be hurt. Carly balks at this. Konnie mocks Carly, and Carly rushes over to attack. Johnny tells Carly not to hurt Konnie. ruh roh. Carly repeats "Konnie?"

the end

GH Week Ending 4/20 in Review

2012-04-22T23:01:21Z

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To summarize: Claudia was Johnny's mom, so Anthony is actually Johnny's grandpa. Johnny hates Sonny for knowing this but doesn't hate Carly for being the impetus for Sonny to learn about it.

Johnny and Carly are in lurve now, and it's as gross and boring as just about anything I can think of. Johnny knows that Kate is Konnie most of the time, but he doesn't bother to share this with anyone. Probably waiting for the Worst Possible Moment to do so. Johnny is pissed that Sonny destroyed one of his businesses. Carly doubts Johnny, but then he asks her if she really thinks he'd kill a family and then use her for an alibi. She agrees he wouldn't, and then she straightens his tie and licks her thumb to take smudge off his face. and tells him to brush his teeth. and cuts the crust off the PB&J she makes him.

Sam tells Jason that he had a Surprise, It's a Boy! twin brother that No One Ever Knew About Before Now. To people who never watched OLTL, you can assume that all kinds of bonkers stuff like this will happen now. In fact, it's reasonable to assume that Sonny has been Ric this entire time and that Sonny has been held hostage and will show up with Ric's face. which? would be totally awesome b/c as much as I hate the mob, I'd be pretty much on board if the mob was run by a Ric-looking Sonny clad only in a towel. Jason wants to believe that it's just Crazy Heather Webber being an asshole again, but Sam insists that it's true, and she finally shows Jason the DNA results that state Franco is her baby daddy. Jason worries that Lil Baby Franco is going to be insane and terrible like his father. Sam sobs that she is certain that Nurture wins. which? is only valid if people actually spend time with their kids, and no one in this town ever does, so I think we must all assume that Nature wins. Sam wants to go to a party, so they can take another week for Jason to learn that not only did she lie about all of this, she also told a Vampire FBI agent before she told Jason. Looking forward to McBain taking Sam to his Vampvilla that he forgot to tell Natalie, Blair, or Evangeline that he has. Also, I still miss Evangaline. any chance she shows up here? as a Mummy or something?

Konnie takes over Kate's body for the time being, leaving Kate trapped behind a mirror. It's similar to when Ess was trapped in an 80's disco on OLTL. Konnie throws a birthday party for Sonny, but she also tries to get in Johnny's pants again, some more. Konnie also insults Alexis's clothes. and plans on dating Ewan after she gets rid of Sonny.

Michael tries to eat at the party, but he keeps getting interrupted. He talks Carly into coming to the party without bringing Johnny.

Looloo chats with Luke about her concerns that Laundromat Lou is really the Stripper Strangler. She thinks Lou set up Mr. Mulva to look like the Strangler. Loo learns that Anna is living in Luke's hotel room b/c of how Anna couldn't possibly afford her own place. Loo worries that Anna will feel particularly betrayed when she learns that Robert left to chase after Ethan b/c Luke lied that Robert is Ethan' father.

Everyone keeps asking about Kristina, so I assume she is to be SORAS'd soon. by that, I mean she'll likely still be 19, but she'll be taller than 60 inches.

Sam and Jason decide to go to Sonny's birthday party because it's exhausting to sit around ruminating on how a psychotwin raped one of you and also impregnated one of you, and that same one of you has been lying like a rug to the other one of you.

Konnie hates Sonny. like, a lot. She stabs his birthday cake to death and to let off some steam and then mirthfully licks at her chocolate covered hands.

Lou catches Loo researching him.

Dante mocks Michael for eating. Maybe Michael is pregnant? this show seems to want to make a joke about Michael's eathing habits.

Sam found a topless maternity dress. Jason asks if she wants anything. She says she wants a lot of things.

Alexis tells Sonny that Kate went to get the cake. We see the butchered cake with a giant knife stuck in it.

Konnie visits Johnny.